Dr. Vernon T. Scott is from the state of Georgia. He is currently pursuing a Sex Coaching certification from Sex Coaching University and earning a second masters in Marriage and Family Therapy with a Systemic Sex Therapy specialization.
Vernon has years of experience in life coaching and sexual health research and education. He is also an advocate for Trans rights and fighting against rape culture and its systemic impact within society. Vernon plans to use his platform to provide healthy conversations related to the nuances of sexual expression and amplify the voices of those often forgotten by society.
He is the host of the Heauxliloquy Podcast and the owner of Slaytor’s Playhouse, LLC. The podcast focuses on bringing people outside the compressed box of sexual expression. Vernon and his guests have conversations that range from kinks to personal sexual experiences to mental health. As for Slaytor’s Playhouse, it is a publishing company that currently provides journals, artwork, and books.
Social Media, Website, and Merch
Vernon’s IG and Twitter: @UrFavHeauxst
Podcast Twitter: @Heauxliloquy
Book link: https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Guide-How-Hoe/dp/173663190X
INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to):
· Vernon’s New Sexually Inspired Journal
· A Warning Against Overuse Of Technology
· A Warning Against Sex & Hookup Apps
· Gwyneth Paltrow Shade (The Loving Sort)
· How Do You Trust?
· Masturbation Is Not Secondary To Sex
· Moving On From Narcissists Is MANDATORY
· Men’s Sexual Performance Issues
· Can’t Turn A Hoe Into A Husband
· Are You A Sex Addict? HTTPS://WWW.SAA.ORG
CONNECT WITH VERNON:
Website 1: https://www.heauxliloquy.com
Website 2: https://slaytorsplayhouse.com
How To Be A Hoe: https://amzn.to/3n86RIR
Poetry Book: https://amzn.to/3Aavxrx
Twitter (Vernon): https://twitter.com/UrFavHeauxst
Twitter (Podcast): https://twitter.com/Heauxliloquy
CONNECT WITH DE’VANNON:
· Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse & Codependency Support Groups (Virtual) – https://www.meetup.com/pittsburgh-narcissism-survivor-meetup-group/
· COSA – 12 Step Recovery For Victims Of Compulsive Sexual Behavior – https://cosa-recovery.org
· A Recommended Reading To Help Heal From Narcissism – https://amzn.to/41sg6FO
· Sex Addicts Anonymous: HTTPS://WWW.SAA.ORG
· Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)
o TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs
· OverviewBible (Jeffrey Kranz)
· Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)
· Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levin
· Upwork: https://www.upwork.com
· FreeUp: https://freeup.net
VETERAN’S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS
· Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org
· American Legion: https://www.legion.org
· What The World Needs Now (Dionne Warwick): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg
INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?:
· PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.
You’re listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De’Vannon and I’ll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what’s really going on in your life.
There is nothing off the table and we’ve got a lot to talk about. So let’s dive right into this episode.
De’Vannon: Dr. Vernon t Scott, one of our resident guests on the sex drugs in Jesus podcast is back with us this week to talk about his brand new
sexual exploration journal Y’all. This journalism, like any journal I’ve ever seen before, is filled with erotic drawings, which you can color in, and it’s filled with prompts from Dr. Scott himself to help you think about your sexuality from a whole new way.
Now in this episode, we’re gonna take a deep dive [00:01:00] and really unpack some of these prompts and questions that Dr. Scott has placed within this sexual inspired journal. We’re gonna issue a warning against sex and hookup apps.
We’re gonna talk about why masturbation is not secondary to sex. We’re gonna hit on men’s performance issues
and talk about why you can’t turn a hoe into a husband. We also encourage you to ask yourself the question, are you a sex addict?
You could be, and we’re gonna talk about.
A way that you can find out.
Thank you so much for listening and enjoy the show.
hello, are you delicious? Delicious, delicious little chickies out there. And welcome back to the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. I’m your host Savannah that I have with Mia, believe for the third time, fourth, fifth, who’s counting because the bitch is bad.
Dr. Vernon t Scott of the Hell Podcast, the host of the Essential Guide on [00:02:00] How to be, I mean, the author of The Essential Guide on How to Be a Ho, also the author of Prose from a Soul Seeking Justice. That’s the poetry book. Doc Scott is back here today to talk to us though about the journal that is called a New Sexual You.
Which which is the latest work. And so we’re journaling today. Girl, how are you doing? I am
Vernon: doing very well. I, it’s, it’s, you know, life is lifeing but at the same time I’m embracing it because you only get one life to live, so you might as well make it happy regardless of what kind of downturns you may come across.
Like just find the positive things and that’s one of the things I’m working on, acknowledging that, you know, things are not where I want it to be, but figuring out how I can make them a lot better. So I’m in my own little process and I’m just enjoying the ride at this [00:03:00] point
De’Vannon: on to the Fox. Yet it’s not think there was a soap opera for a called One Life to Live.
We only have one life to live to watch my grandmother and things. The Lord was speaking to us. Then you only come, come this way once.
Vernon: You know, I, I kind of wanna be a soap opera actor just for like, it’s like if you get in there, you’re stuck in there for some time until they have to kill you off. And I’m just like, I just wanted to do the one episode.
Like, I thought it was gonna be a cameo bitch.
That would be so nice.
De’Vannon: That’s some stable ass shit. I wouldn’t mind being on the young in the, they like it’s stable income. But I wouldn’t mind being on the Young and the Restless and doing a scene with Nick, that boy who played Nick Joshua, that fine ass boy. I think it’s time for his character to become a little questioning.
Vernon: I’m so done. Go away.
De’Vannon: It’s time for me to show up and help guide this young [00:04:00] man onto his questioning journey.
Vernon: Go away.
De’Vannon: Speaking of, speaking of guiding people on their journey, so y’all the way. Vernon has this journal laid out. He has a lot of prompts now. I’ve seen journals before that have a lot of blank pages in him and not that much written.
His prompts as he calls ’em. I think there’s like 10 prompts in total. Or it’s one prompt, but there’s like four or five different questions per prompt, and they’re, and they’re written, so it’s probably like 30 questions or something, you know, throughout the whole thing. And they’re written to help to guide you along.
So you, so you kind of feel like Vernon’s right there with you helping to guide and you can always, you know, reach out to him anyway with questions. You know, he’s a sexual experience coach. He’s coming from his own history of sexual abuse and trauma, which he’s overcome to help the world do the same. And so what would you like to tell us about this [00:05:00] book before I start interrogating you with my 20 questions?
Vernon: God. Not 20. I’m here for it. I’m here for it. I would say the, the great thing about it is that it allows you to question yourself, to dive a lot deeper. And one of the reasons why there are multiple questions in each prompt is because you, a lot of people, when you get that. That basic question, they don’t know what’s next.
And sometimes having a little bit more thought provoking things that goes deeper and deeper into those questions that you’re asking yourself, helps you develop your thought processes. It helps you critically think, it helps you find the answer a little bit. I can’t say sooner because everybody’s process is a little bit different, but it helps you go a little bit deeper into yourself.
More than that basic, oh, how are you feeling? I’m feeling good. Okay. And what’s after that? So the, the it’s. [00:06:00] Phrased in a way that you get that what’s after that at the forefront. In addition to that, it allows people who are exploring themselves to find their creative side too, because what is it like when it comes to sex in general?
I personally believe that a lot of people’s blockages, because they lack creativity, they lack the option of freedom. And that’s one of the things that this journal allows people to do. You get to create these, yeah, they’re already printed for you. Yeah, they already have their own structures, but you get to create your own na narrative with these images.
You get to create your own characters with them. Like one of the things that is even mentioning in instructions, you get to gender bend however you feel is best for you. Like there is one image in there where it is a feminine body, but it, the journal in itself plays on the mask film.
Throughout. But the feminine [00:07:00] body in this one comes within the masculine section of it. So it’s like, oh, okay, so how can I dive deeper into that? So I would say it is just a way for you to explore yourself, be creative, and dive deeper into your own introspection and figure out how you can embrace your own sexuality a lot more.
De’Vannon: You had me dive deeper. That’s, that’s, that, that’s what I that’s what I kept hearing. Maybe it’s because I had this. This, this, this, this, this man over here, earlier this morning. Who, who, who dove really deep. Ooh,
Vernon: we love a deep dive. Now hold up now. Let find one of those. It’s been a dry, dry season, Lord.
De’Vannon: But let me look, let me do like they do in church and extend my hand so that,
but [00:08:00] like when the like when the cloud came out of the river, And they said, we, we hear the sound of an abundance of rain. And three year, it had been that three year dry spell. I think that was the process. Elijah or Samuel. It was one of the two. And he got in his chair and ran. And baby it hadn’t rained in three years, but it rained
Vernon: Chile Cha.
I I’ll accept a lot of rain at this moment. You can make it rain some cash. Why you at let, let not let me not let me start taking off my shirt. I’m joking. I’m joking. Not on the internet. On the internet. My, I’m sorry.
De’Vannon: His website, the websites are ally.com and slaters playhouse.com. He’s on Twitter.
Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, all that will go in the show now. But yeah, honey, I was, do I, I let him come over here and do a deep dive. He he came so fast the first time, you [00:09:00] know, they called me the, you know, the diamond Princess too, you know? Ooh, ooh.
And then I think he was so, He was so into it. And then also so feeling some type of way you know, maybe embarrassed that he decided to fuck me again, you know? And so, and we’re gonna be talking about sexual performance because that was one of your prompts. You know, I have some questions about the way tops view sexual performance, cuz I don’t view it that way, but but yeah, I understand the dry spell.
You know, everybody knows, you know, I had to break up with my, my covertly narcissistic ex January. You know, so we’re moving forward. But I had to go. I mean, aint nothing gonna take the place of being with like one person who you can get dick from five nights a week if you want to. You know, this shit was wonderful.
You know, I, I thought the sex, you know, in our relationship unfortunately was like one of the best things. There’s so much [00:10:00] more to life than that. But that’s really one of the best things he could give me cuz he was so emotionally unavailable, but mm-hmm. You know, you know, we we’re having to move on. And that’s, and that’s all that there is to it.
I’m saying all this is say Mayo Dry, spell be broken in Jesus’ name.
Vernon: Amen. And we receive it. Oh my damn. I didn’t, we
De’Vannon: receive, I mean if it gets that bad, I’m gonna hop on the flight and come over there and break it myself. Okay. We love it.
Vernon: Oh God yes.
De’Vannon: And so, okay, so let’s start at the cover, the book cover. I have a thing about book covers and yours is especially colorful, y’all. It’s purple. I think he might be able to hold it up for us per chance. Yep. Right. And so there you go. Bling bling purple. It matches my lilac colored [00:11:00]Easter, well Easter inspired spring inspired beard right now.
I’m seeing it looks like Star. Star. And this book is out on Amazon and everything yet, or is it yet to be
Vernon: released? It is out, I believe it is on Amazon. What I would recommend doing, because it is a lot cheaper just getting from the source, just go to my website to purchase it at Slater’s Playhouse.
It’s so much easier for everybody. Other outside printing sources charged like 30 plus I think, and that’s for the cheapest version of it. And the rest is like 45 and 50. And you don’t have to pay that, pay the 25 at the website or the 20 at the website. So, and it’s. For some people who may not have those funds, because I love accessibility.
There’s also a digital version too, so that you can print it out at home and that’s only $5
De’Vannon: and I think it’s like 160 something pages. 160, 100 mm-hmm. Page. [00:12:00] And so it’s not a little thin anorexic journal. You know, this one here has but I hate that man when I buy a journal or something like that, that is prompted by someone and not just a marble journal, like what we used in grade school.
Mm-hmm. I expect some prompting in there, like what you gave, not these little one-liners every, every few pages. No, I felt like this journal has a lot of soul and depth into it. So people who have never journaled before are not, you know, this is great, you know, for them, but. I see like angel wings in the back.
What, what, explain this cover to me and why you went with it.
Vernon: So I’ve, I’ve been feeling a lot of like universal energy, let’s put it that way. And a part of that is also connecting to the things that make me feel free. And part of that is feathers and flying and being out. [00:13:00] Like whenever I think of freedom, I think of birds because they can go wherever they want at any time and all they have to do just spread their wings and go.
So that’s why on many of my covers you may see some types of feathers, be it the wings that’s Like shrouded in the back, in the center of the cover or even at the bottom. Something that, that’s like a little small cloud area or galaxy. But no, it’s actually just a collection of wings and it’s just, it’s just something that always gave me a sense of freedom.
And because this is a journal that focuses on sexuality and finding the new you, finding the new sexual you and finding that sexual freedom, I thought, why not? Let’s put some wings on there so that you understand that you too can fly and soar in all of that.
De’Vannon: Lord, give me two wings so I can fly away from all of this bullshit.
Amen. I’ll get ’em when I die and so will [00:14:00] you. Yes. So. So you’ve already talked about like the purpose of the journal and everything like that. I think I’ve stated why your journal is different than others, but is there anything you would like to say about why your journal ain’t like the other journals?
Vernon: I would say I have yet to see a journal that gives you the freedom to draw color and all this other stuff in write to really make something your own. Yes. When it comes to like, just like the basic notebook that you get to write in, you get to draw on the margins or you get to figure that out as you go along.
But this automatically gives you that permission upfront lets, you know, Make this yours, decorate it however you want to decorate it. Attach your creativity to your own journey of yourself. Make this something that is extremely personal to you on multiple levels. And I don’t see that in two many other journals.
And on top of that, similar to what [00:15:00] you said earlier many of those journals only have like a one sentence question. They don’t really probe you to go deeper. And I, I made that mistake with my first journal that I made within the series, and I just was like, okay, let’s put some thought-provoking questions at the front and go with it.
Yes, they’re helpful questions, but one of the things I realized is that what is the, like I said earlier, what is that next step? It’s great to just have that question, but what’s going to be the thing to help guide people through through their processes? Guide them through their their like.
Figuring out what their thoughts are, figuring out who they are as a person. Like one of the questions if I can ask it. And it’s also one of my favorite ones is from prompt two. As soon as I pull that up is related to consent. So most people are, who are unfamiliar with [00:16:00] the what consent is.
They may have just that basic yes or no, but this actually focuses on yourself rather than like anybody else’s definition. So the question asked what does consent mean to me? How does it look and sound? How does consent feel? And when I am most comfortable with providing wait, when am I most comfortable with providing consent?
So it’s like, you really have to think about these things. It’s not just yes or no questions. It’s figuring out how. These things relate to sexuality, really do relate to yourself as well.
De’Vannon: I feel like I need to say that journaling is not like a, a male female thing. This isn’t something like girls do.
It’s not, you’re not less of a dude if you want to take your pencil out pen or whatever and write, it’s not a like that because [00:17:00] journaling taps into the soul, to the mind is private anyway, cuz nobody needs to know you have the thing, you know? And so, I don’t know. I just felt like I wanted to speak to like any sort of like mischaracterizations or stereotypes that might, or stigmas that might be attached to this.
Vernon: Hmm. No, that’s, that’s it’s good that you said that cuz many people do think that it’s just something that women do because like even when you think about the media that we watch, you have that dear diary moment, our girls in their diaries and stuff like that. But yeah, you’ll have men who journal, but this is usually somebody that’s like a prominent figure.
So like the journals of George Washington or a judge or, you know, whatever it is, whenev what, whatever like c s I related show that you’re watching in it’s some high powered individual was murdered. You find their collection of journals. But it is not often sa stated [00:18:00] that, oh, the everyday man has that permission to write as well.
So I think it is good to mention that anyone can journal and journaling is good regardless of who you are.
De’Vannon: And it’s a developing skill. So you sat down to write your first page in your first journal. Don’t think you gonna be like, Angela Lansbury and Murder she wrote, you know, or Oprah Winfrey or some damn body like that.
You know, you have to crawl before you walk and just about anything you do in life. So it’s not about writing it perfectly, like you say in here. It is about just speaking your truth and being truthful. Now tell me why is, why is truth important in journaling?
Vernon: I would say in order for you to truly engage, let me using the word in this, but in order for you to truly engage with yourself, you do have to tell the truth.
It’s easy for us to be fixated in the lies that we tell ourselves or the lies that we tell other people. And how do [00:19:00] you truly expect for yourself to grow if you cannot be honest with yourself about the things that are really bothering you? So that’s why it is. Pivotal for people to maintain truthfulness in their conversation.
Sometimes it’s too early to approach that truth, and oftentimes we do recognize that we have glossed over something. But when you recognize that, give yourself that opportunity just to go back and address that a little bit later on, or even address it in a different way and see what comes
because it’s a living thing. So what, what you write, you can come back and revisit and you can track your growth. I wanna say, I know we live in a technological age, doc Scott, I need you bitches to put the damn phone down. Yes. And [00:20:00] and pick up a pencil. A number two. Okay. Or some in fucking number two.
Take your hands. And write in the damn journal. I know you have notes in your cell phone, but it’s a different way that the brain is wired to your handwriting across paper versus clicking on that technological device. Mm-hmm. When I was doing my hyp hyp hypnotherapist hypnotist certification, we would have to hand write in pencil, you know, and then we could go back and interpret that handwriting, you know, by the way the letters lay and things like that.
And learn everything about a person, you know, before they even much open their mouth. You know, there is something to physically writing as old school and archaic as it may be, but when you really, really need deep help and deep work done, we had to kick [00:21:00] this technology to the side and get back to our roots.
Vernon: You know, I think a lot of that is because when you do hand write, everything becomes so much more personal. Cuz when you do the digital thing, you, it’s the screen. It’s always the screen. Whatever you type, whatever you put out there is so far distant. You’re not really, yeah. You can get carpal tunnel for like, typing all the time.
Okay. Whatever. That’s, you know. That, but it, it doesn’t really do anything within your body. Whenever you are typing these things, you’re just doing a task on a regular basis. But whenever you actually sit down and write something, when you write your signature, whenever you put your body to motion to articulate the things that you’re trying to say, and in the language that your body actually understands, that tends to stick a lot more than when you just type, because these letters on the keyboard, [00:22:00] They don’t speak our language, they just speak what the keyboard says.
They, they speak in the idea that you’re putting out there in the digital space, but they’re not speaking the same language that your body has learned throughout the ages because you’re not typing at first. You’re learning how to write your name. You’re learning how to write a sentence by putting it on paper.
Your body remembers that. And outside of that, typing on a skill on the keyboard just becomes a skill and not a part of your identity. Not a part of
De’Vannon: yourself. Fuck. Yeah. Like your handwriting is unique to like your d n a and you use this something that’s basic as handwriting. And I like a pencil because that lead is more natural than ink.
In spiritual circles. If in spiritual circles, if you do certain types of spiritual work, You must use a pencil to do it. Mm-hmm. And you don’t have to go go as far as to use parchment paper or like brown paper that is untainted and [00:23:00] untouched by man. In order to access what you’re trying to access, you gotta go back to the roots bitch.
Mm-hmm. But your hand, but you can use, you know, like writing with a number two pencil. So you recenter yourself to refocus to remember who you are and get in touch with that. Like, like Doc Scott said, you start off right and then by the time you all know in fucking fifth grade you got a god damn tablet you’re running around with and you clicking away at everything, you know, turn into that crazy bitch from Megan who’s obsessed with that fucking doll and didn’t wanna give a damn thing up.
The ho was strung out on the damn electronic, you know, because she know the fuck she was apart from the technology. Mm-hmm. So, And we gonna be talking about apps later cuz in the, in the email you sent, you wanted to talk about dating apps and all of that. And I got some shit to say cuz that’s a huge part of what, of what cost me my relationship.
Mm-hmm. But I don’t know. I dunno if you wanna talk more about what journaling has personally done [00:24:00] for you. Had an interesting thing happen yesterday, I went with a new friend of mine this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man, his name is Landon. He has a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful wife and and everything.
And they’re just an amazing couple. And I love the way he adores her, both when he’s with her and when he is not. And but he and I went to go see Dungeons and Dragons and I’m gonna tell you all hearted moves in mysterious ways. I was sitting there watching this movie. I’m not big in the d and d, but Landon is gonna teach me how to play it.
The ex played it, but he never invited me to the games, even though that would’ve been nice cuz I was the one who took him up there and pushed him to start playing him. But that’s a whole other thing, you know? But the Lord has given me better. I have a new person who does invite me to it and everything like that.
And so but the characters in there reminded me of issues from [00:25:00] my previous relationship. And when I got home and I hadn’t journaled in a good while, I, I broke out my, my famous red journal and and I wrote, and it took me a few hours and I just talked about, you know, how God was speaking to me about what happened in my relationship.
And I felt a great sense of validation and everything. And I’m gonna release, I’m gonna release a show and I’m gonna read this journal, you know, to people. And It’s like from Harry Potter when they have that pen, Seve, when they do that spell where you can take the thought outta your head mm-hmm. And drop that bitch into that pen, Seve and they’ll fucking worry about it no more.
But go pick it up when you want to. Mm-hmm. That is for me. Too much shit going on in here. Put it down on paper there. My brain feels relieved and the load has been lightened. Do you have like a, a very specific example of a time where journaling broke said, broke you free?
Vernon: How [00:26:00] journaling allowed, helped me come back from psychosis.
And like this was during the height of the pandemic in might as well say 2021 ish. And I just started with a new therapist and working with him and he suggested that I use journaling as a way to ground myself a little bit more into reality and everything that’s going on and process a lot of the things that’s been bothering me or just even some past experiences.
And it helped me. Literally, it did help me ground ground myself back into reality. It helped me figure out some of the things that were still bothering me that I thought I resolved, but I did not necessarily get over. It also helped me get in touch with my creative side again and get more in touch with my writing side too.
I, there’s been [00:27:00] moments I will be writing in my journal and I will say something that I feel is profound and I will underline it or put a star next to it and I’ll put a message to myself like, you need to use this line in like a story somehow and keep going back into exploring myself and figuring out what’s bothering me doing the shadow work and all of that.
Within my journal of course, but like, it has helped me tremendously. And I will say I did use one of those lines in one of I can’t say it was a short story cuz I never really went back to it, but a story that I was beginning to write and it, it felt so freeing to address that in that way too.
It helped me dive back into story writing and developing a world and all of that. So yeah, [00:28:00]journaling. It’s that, it’s that girl,
De’Vannon: he’s that bitch. Look and there are many, many of you suffering from mental health issues and emotional problems. And if you haven’t tried journaling, what the fuck do you have to lose?
You know, you know, when you really, really get desperate and need help and you really ready for it, you’ll try anything. But you know, this is a very, very beautiful journal. So the pictures in here are in black and white. Like Doc Scott was saying, you can color them. It starts off, or at least at the, towards the beginning of it, it’s like a beautiful lotus flower that I’m looking at with like a heart in it and everything.
And these pictures I’m gonna tell y’all, get progressively Kenia Kia matriculate through. I see a few, I, I think asses in here. Definitely some torsos and such, some ti TAs and whatnot. A six pack or something along that. Somebody’s straddling somebody, oh, I ain’t gonna say it is [00:29:00] porn. It’s, it’s very like, expressive and it’s very body positive.
Not everybody in here has a six pack. I’ve seen some, some, some hips. Hips and curves and everything like that. And I think that that is fucking wonderful. Yeah. And so how interactive it is.
Vernon: Yes. And you know, one of the things that I do it’s my self-critique is that I could not find any more like thicker masculine body types sock put in there.
But that’s one of the things I’m working on fixing for like the, the third iteration of the sexual exploration journal. So I can, like, the theme of it is body. So I have to make sure I have like a lot more body representation throughout that entire journal for the people who like to color and, you know, do that work.
So be on the lookout people.
De’Vannon: I’m just, nobody’s judging you. And if they do, then fuck ’em. Oh look, and [00:30:00]I’m impressed that you put the artwork and everything together yourself. That’s quite a skill. And you know what? We, we give you a pass on not having everybody type. Just like, just like we forgave Gwyneth Paltrow for doing Love, sex and Goop on Netflix and having just about everybody represented except for two dudes being in a relationship, even though she had women, men, straight couple didn’t see any trends either.
Gwyneth, you know,
Vernon: get your
De’Vannon: Pete, get your Iron Man on all you want. But we holding out for the next season where we sh where we’re sure you’ll get to those which you weren’t able to get to in the first season. The shade,
Vernon: the, and I love it because
I was like, I, I will say I did love to see the bigger bodies up in that bitch. I did love to see it, but I was also like, You could do
De’Vannon: a little bit more. [00:31:00] Where, where, where is the Batman To My Robin.
So for those of you haven’t seen Love, sex and Goop, I guess it’s still on Netflix. Super cool. It’s all about couples exploring their sexuality and being guided through it because Mo a lot of couples have so, so much piss poor communication and everything. You would think that it would be just easy to reach over to your partner because people have so many fucking unresolved issues.
And so, so we, we always use a little help. One of your prompts asked the question, what prevents me from trusting others?
Yes. And I guess just one of the questions within that prompt, there’s like four or five questions about trust. It’s just one, we can’t tell it all. We gotta tell on it. And this stood out to me because, I’m the type [00:32:00] until now who would just trust people too far, too much, too fast. You know, y’all love hard.
I believe in people and everything like that, and I have no ill intentions towards people. I forget that, that everybody thinks that way. Mm-hmm. When it comes down to sex, sexual relations, relationships, trust is a multi-level thing. For instance, people will guard their hearts and don’t trust people with their true emotions or to show their real self, but they’ll pull their dick out without thinking about it.
Or go run behind closed doors with somebody without telling anyone where they’re at. So, so you’re willing to trust somebody with your anatomical safety, believing they won’t give you a disease? Well, we can see how the h i v pandemic and hepatitis is gone with that. Mm-hmm. And, and you know, you know, we have not been very smart in that.
Not judging. I, I have, you know, a history of H I V and hepatitis B myself, so I’m the first one to say I wasn’t smart with that. I trust it too much. [00:33:00] And you know, we, so we trust that people aren’t gonna cut us up into itty bitty pieces when we get behind closed doors. Although the stories still come in of people going missing on hookups to this day.
This not disappear when Dahmer died or whatever the hell. People are still getting cut up on hookups, y’all. So so talk to me about trust, what it means to you and what would you like to say to people about it? My concern is that we put our physical safety at risk. It really, our mental health at risk by the things we’re willing to do.
Even though we guard certain portions, it’s like it’s unbalanced trust and it doesn’t balance out. See for
Vernon: me I’m, I’m similar to you, I like to give people trust until they prove themselves otherwise of being trust trustworthy. But when it comes to, when I provide trust to other people, I also think about my boundaries and like.
Moving [00:34:00] within a space of trust without boundaries is asking for destruction. Whenever you do have those boundaries, do know what you’re comfortable with, with what you want to allow, that allows you to make a, a lot more different decisions. Most definitely when it comes to how far you go with a another individual.
And for me, I like to have clear understandings of, of things. So in order for me to. Come into a space where I am open to providing my body with somebody I need clarity on what are your intentions here? What are you most comfortable with? What what are you interested in doing? Are you willing to send a picture of yourself if if not, what are you willing or comfortable enough sharing?
Let’s talk about things before we even get to that space of having sex. And another thing is I do feel like cause of some of the messages that we are receiving throughout, you know, [00:35:00] our upbringing is that we have always been given the permission to be sexual and trust people with our bodies in a way.
But we have not been given that permission to trust people with like knowing us intimately on another level outside of sex. Meaning having those honest conversations about what, you know, comfort levels or. Oh do you want to cuddle after we are done hooking up or just having those healthier conversations about how you want to engage with other people?
We do not receive that permission at all. We have to learn to do that after we’ve been traumatized or come across so many fuck boys or fuck girls or fuck people that we are just like, oh, maybe I should operate a little bit differently. Or like, we are not even given permission to engage in [00:36:00] love outside of what society says love looks like.
But we can freely give our bodies, because most definitely with those who are within the queer, queer community, because we are oversexualized for whatever you find out somebody’s queer, oh, you must be having a lot of sex. What the hell made you think bad? Because as the societal thought process is that if you’re queer, you’re engaging in a lot of sex.
And that’s not always the truth. But we many of us do enact that narrative because that’s what we were told through our lives. So it’s easier for us to just be like, oh, I can give you my body because that’s expected of me, already not expected of me to actually find a healthy and loving relationship with the person before we even engage in sex.
But that’s the it’s the flip side for a lot of women though. They are told that they have to find the love of their life before they engage in sex. They are to wait [00:37:00] on it until they find the right person that they’re most comfortable with losing their virginities to and all this other stuff.
However, Men, queer people, just go out there and fuck and enjoy your fucking and explore as much as you want until you may find somebody that you fell in love with or fall in love with and all the other mess.
De’Vannon: I feel like on some level at my request for your next journal rendition, is that you include a prompt that has to do with sexual limitations in terms of taking it too far.
You know, at what point is your sexual sexuality getting out of hand? Because I’ve been attending, like, sex addicts, sex addicts, anonymous groups to be sure that since now that I’m single again, I don’t turn back into a grinder hole or anything like that. Acting out or trying to fill a void or anything like that.
Or [00:38:00] and then I’m, that I’m checking myself, you know, in And keep, and, and, and keeping my thoughts, you know, from spiraling all over the place. Well, I’m also attending the Sex Addicts Anonymous group because I realize, you know, I think that like from a child, probably I was, and nobody ever explained sex to me.
And so I learned it from television, like you’re saying. And then when I got I v I shut down and stopped having sex pretty much all together. And I learned from reading the Sex Addicts Anonymous literature that that is still a form of like sex, having a sex problem. So either if you take it too far and you just fuck your brains out all through town, or if you do like me and cave in and just, just feel like you just begin to demonize it because you judge yourself.
In my case, I judge myself for letting myself get h I v. Either extreme is bad. Now it’s okay. You know, I think if somebody needs to pause for some time to get a perspective. Mm-hmm. But [00:39:00]pausing is one thing. Knowing you’re gonna reengage as opposed to hating yourself. Like I did both of those extremes.
Doing it too much or too little required guidance. And so, and so, that’s why I’m going through that. And so I, I wonder, so I, I would like a, a, a prompt about restraint over sexualization and dangers. How can my sex life put me in danger in ways that I’m not thinking about. Mm-hmm. You know renting a hotel room or motel room and turning the lights off and being blindfolded and letting anyone come in there and, fuck, you might be kinky.
Some people are gonna call that sex positive. Hey, do what you want, but let’s be real about the risks involved in that. Mm-hmm. See? And so, and these are the kind of things that I talk with my s a a sponsor about, you know, just being super mindful. Yes. Society tells people sex is okay, love is not. The patriarchy has told women [00:40:00] how to be, how to act, how to feel, what to do with they posties and everything like that.
You know, fuck the damn patriarchy. Exactly. Also, also, not just sexual orientation and lifestyles, but ages. One of the, one of the struggles that I had, and y’all, y’all gonna probably hear me reference that X eczema for some time to come. I believe that I went through what I went through to to help you cuz you know I’m gonna talk about it.
I’m not gonna be quiet because somebody has gotta be warned. Also, also, as my hypnotherapist pointed out, since my dad’s a narcissist, that older dude who basically molested me when I was 15 was a narcissist. You know, she believed that he came into my life in order to not just heal me of what I went through with him, but the other men too.
And so I’m happy about this all. And so we don’t tell it. But one of his things was he thought that since he was in his twenties, this meant being a slut and being a hoe. [00:41:00] And I said, there are 20 year olds who do that, but there are people in their twenties who do not do that. So if you’re going to be about that life, just say it’s because you are about that life, not because your twenties mandates that you be out in the streets like that.
So don’t have no excuses to hide behind if you know that’s what you trying to do. But my whole thing is he let society tell him to, I don’t know, to watching tv or he would never put his damn phone down, was always on Instagram. You know, tell him what he’s supposed to do in his twenties. And I would say, what do you want?
Mm-hmm. When, where did you come up with these things in your mind? From no answers. So we need to be sure that we’re not letting television, social media, the church family, nobody tell us how we’re supposed to be. Journaling is a good way to delineate that and to, and to get out your actual thoughts so you can separate that shit from the voices in your head [00:42:00] that are not your own.
Mm-hmm. Like, like Impro team told Ray in that damn Star Wars movie, he’s like, I’m every voice you have ever heard. Okay. He was like, I’ve been in your head bitch this whole time and you didn’t even know. We gotta kick a basket like that out. They even got too comfortable in our minds. Mm-hmm. It ain’t even in rent.
Vernon: Exactly. And I, I love that you mentioned that because people really do think that because of a certain age, this is how they supposed to be, regardless of how old the person is or how young they are, like. Whenever people decide to subscribe to a certain narrative, they have to recognize that that’s the choice that they’re choosing to make.
Like I remember being in my twenties and people saying, oh, this is the age that you’re supposed to be finding love, getting in a relationship and doing all these other things. And I would tell people, many of them who often got mad at me that I’m not ready for a relationship. I know I’m not rel ready and I’m not going to [00:43:00] put myself in a sit situation where I am going to what end this relationship because everything is a mess because neither one of us is ready.
Or if you are, I’m not. So what are we going to be doing here other than just saying, hey to each other and cuddling up together? And what else? Like, I don’t have the foundation that I required in order for me to feel comfortable in a relationship, therefore I will not be in one. So people really do think most definitely like some older people too, that.
Yeah, I’m in my fifties. I’m not supposed to be sexual because my sex drive is gone. No, it is not gone. You can have as much sex as you want, be free and be happy with if you’re young, you do not have to be going through bodies on a regular basis. You can be in a relationship. You can be alone with yourself.
You can have mono sexuality, which is just masturbating all the time. Whatever you want for yourself, you can have that option to [00:44:00] be that. But if you just choose to go with the narrative because it makes you feel comfortable and you feel like you supposed to do that, then that’s just not true. You’re choosing to do that and you can make your own narrative or you can make your own story about your own life if you choose to do so.
De’Vannon: Amen. You better preach. Hallelujah. And and also I like, like to let people know that when you live that way and you don’t know why you think what you think or why you think what you. Why you feel what you feel or why you believe, what you believe you are a slave to, to other people, and you don’t know that you are a slave to the mindset, to the patriarchy, and they are controlling you because you have no idea what motivates you in life or why you get up and go and do the things you do.
I would ask acc, acc ask, ask my ex shit. I’d be like, why’d you do that? He’d be like, I don’t know why I did that. Why’d you say that? I don’t know why I said that. I’m like, okay. He would be like, I don’t look forward to getting older. I won’t be able to have fun. Once I turned [00:45:00] 30. I said, okay, why do you believe that?
You know, I don’t know. I’m like okay. Okay. That’s you. That’s not everybody. But, but I, I’ve tried to level with him. I was like, okay, where did you get that from? Let’s talk this out. He got all mad. Didn’t want to get all deep. I was at the, I was at the nightclub, this club called Splash the other night with my delicious new friends.
Just a good, you know, safe group of people for me to hang out with. And twirling and splash is like a, hmm, you know, 18 to maybe like 24 year old general dance club right outside of Louisiana State University. But nobody in there is judging you as long as you, you can be old as whatever, as long as you go in there.
I had whatever color beard on, I was rocking and you know, they was like, cool man. Fucking, you know? Right. And there was this dude, old white haired, he had on like a fetish kink, kind of like Scottish Celtic dress leather. Updo, look, go. I was here for it, but when I left I heard these mean ass queens [00:46:00] in the parking lot throwing shade, I think at him talking about like, you know, talking about this old man in the club.
And I said, you know what? Them little young fuckers don’t understand that the bad karma that they’re sewing for themself and Teddy like that because they not gonna be young forever, assuming, assuming that they’re even blessed enough to get to these, that guy must have been 60, you know, 70 years old, walking around there with a spring in his step.
Young and big mouth and arrogant like that is only gonna make you old and crippled. You know, because you’re not sewing good seed for yourself. I respected the fact that he was in there. With gray hair twirling around with 18 year olds with full fucking confidence bitch. No one who can stop him, who can check him.
He paid his cover, he pays, okay, it’s a free fucking country. I respected the fuck outta him and I complimented him. I did not like seeing the damn queens in the club being petty. Oh, that stems from insecurity any fucking way.
Vernon: Nothing but [00:47:00] insecurity and that’s their problem. And I, that’s the one thing I try to help a lot of people understand, is that when you go out your way to try to make somebody else feel bad or just comment on their existence just for being there, is cause you’re insecure that it is something within you wish that you were that person and you need to explore exactly why.
Because what did he do to you all to make you want to be so negative other than existing in your space and enjoying his life? Are you jealous that. This is a grown ass person enjoying their life and their, the youth of their age. Make it, make it to that point, like the man is doing whatever the fuck he wants to do.
Are you, do you not feel comfortable enough that you can do wherever the fuck you want? That’s your problem.
De’Vannon: Yeah, people [00:48:00] shouldn’t be so shook just cause somebody walked through the fucking door. You know? They should have been like dancing and twerking and popping their own pussy severely and not, not people watching like that. I don’t like the people watch. I like to be in the middle of the crowd. I cannot spend my life watching other motherfucking people.
That’s why I don’t like reality tv defies, reels and things like that cuz people just sit there and watch other damn people all day and then they don’t have an attention span worth the damn, you know, can’t explain shit. But they can tell you what everybody fucking did on social media. It’s so fucking stupid.
Vernon: Now I will say I’m a people watcher. I’m, I’m not going to lie, but I also like to live my own life. But
De’Vannon: there’s balance for everything. I’m not judging you If you wanna watch, but fuck you gotta get up engaged at some point. I’m not sitting around and watching none of y’all ho y’all can watch. I agree that’s
Vernon: there is something I did want to talk about.
It is, it is related to your ex as well as people like him. I consider them [00:49:00] as NPCs. For those who are not gamers, that’s just a non playable character. The reason why cause. My, my little cousin, he was an NPC at one point, and I had to make sure he pressed stars so he can get his, you know, a person playing.
So these are people when you do ask them whether it’s on their mind, it’s just something blank. If they do act, they, well, let’s not say act. They react. And when they react, there’s no thought process and that, and sometimes they’re just, In the motions of doing things with no thought behind it. So like, whenever you find a person like that, do your, if they’re young and it’s if, if it’s somebody that you’re you love a lot, help them learn how to critical critically think.
Once you get to that point and they start to do that, there’s a completely different shift in their energy and how they interact and how they respond and what they do. They start to think a lot more. It becomes [00:50:00] so much easier for you. Like my little cousin used to be like a problem child. Now he’s like the best child in the house because they no way I’m going to have my own family member be a NPC out here.
We don’t uhuh. No, no. So make, make, contact your friends, contact your family members. Don’t let them be an npc. That’s all I wanted to say on that.
De’Vannon: Well, that goes my that’s a good Nod to my Dungeons and Dragons reference earlier. Right. Which it was. Which it was a cute ass movie. But but, you know, the Lord speaks us in all kind of ways, through movies, through shows, television, everything’s just all about whether or not your, your ears are open to listen.
Mm-hmm. I, I’m gonna say, you can offer help to these NPCs because God knows, you know, I, I, you know, I loved my boyfriend and I tried to help him. You know, one, one of his mindless times like that was when we had first broke up. And I [00:51:00] wish I hadn’t gotten back together with him, but I didn’t know that narcissistic personality disorder was a fucking thing.
I just thought it was like immaturity or some shit. But he was out there for three weeks. He would complain about not having enough friends. But there’s a reason people don’t like being around him, you know, cause of that heavy ass energy that he has. He refused to let it go. So we’re sing. So we’re both single for three weeks, although I never limited it from having him, from having friends.
What he decided to do was go rack up six different fuck buddies and one supposedly platonic friend all met through hookup apps. I say, okay, you complain about not having friends, but you chose to go rack up fuck buddies again. Okay? Narcissistic people do this. They create the shit they hate and then they blame other people or just bitch about it, even though they literally created it and did it.
And so but this was when Covid was popping off. We had tests but [00:52:00] no vaccines. None of him and nor his hoes got tested. And then he came he let me come around him with no mask on and it was not a pretty night. Once I discovered that he had been out fucking cuz he left. A wine bottle, a pork wine bottle in his kitchen.
Cause we were trying to be friends or sorted out or you know, I think I was thinking I wanted to get back with him or whatever and I’m like, you’re not classy enough to buy something like this cuz I taught you everything you know about taste and design. So you’ve been with some dude. Otherwise this bottle wouldn’t be sitting here cuz you’re a box wine bitch.
And so nothing against box wine. I have it in here too, but I also have the bottles and the crystal glasses. You know, that was one of those mindless like how in the hell? And the only thing that could come out of his mouth was, I’m single, right? I can go do what I want. True, absolutely. But that doesn’t mean that you need to pass up CVS and don’t get your nose swabbed.
But you can go lay in bed all night with people and then you come around other folks who didn’t even benefit from the damn sex and you don’t bother [00:53:00] to tell them. Mm-hmm. That was his mindless moment. We hash that out and talked about it. This is why I had to break up with him. Years later, he’s back at it again.
This time he’s out having sex with people knowing he’s covid positive and didn’t give a fuck. So you can try to talk since into some people when they’re doing mindless shit where they just don’t seem to be able to comprehend their actions and the consequences and a fallout. But if they are hardheaded or what the Bible calls to reprobate mind you from such turn away and let their go.
Cause you gonna worry yourself out. Try not reason with people who don’t wanna be reasoned with. Yeah,
Vernon: I agree with that. Like, this is why you gotta make sure you get them while like your family members while they’re young, because once they adult, once they’re past age 25, 26, 27, when that brain is finalized.
Oh no. All you can do is just offer them help. Just like, you [00:54:00] know, have you ever thought about therapy? You know, it, it, I’ve been in it, it is great. It’s wonderful. I don’t know if there’s anything I know, I, I, I, I know, oh boy, he ain’t going, he ain’t going for that and that’s his problem. But for those out there who may have somebody who may be open to that, do your best to get them into some kind of therapy cuz it’s, it’s a lot of work dealing with the narcissist.
It is a lot like they, the, the self-fulfilling prophecy that they want to set up for themselves with nothing but failure or nothing but their own demise that’s on them and they love to do it. You don’t need to, you don’t need to put yourself into that at all.
De’Vannon: Hail to the, no. You talked about masturbation as an option.
Okay. One of the things that I would like to point out to people, another point that was very difficult for me to try to get across to he who must not be named, is that [00:55:00] masturbation is not like a secondary stepchild to physical encounters with people. You know, some people in this world think that masturbation is the consolation prize.
You know, like I couldn’t find someone to meet up with, so I guess I’ll just have to, you know, wa it and go to bed. Like it’s a thing to be sad about. You know, you, you touched on this briefly by saying someone could have like a solo relationship with themself. Mm-hmm. And do you care to dive deeper into why masturbation is not supposed to be compared to sucking dick penetrative sex group sex and why?
It’s simply just another option. And actually you can connect with yourself through masturbation. You can’t do that when you’re with somebody else cause it’s supposed to be about that person. Masturbation is a powerful tool, depends on how you look at it. Mm-hmm.
Vernon: So, Ooh, I love me. So masturbation now it’s, masturbation is just another way for you to show yourself how much you love yourself, but do it in a sexual way.
When it [00:56:00] comes to like self-care, let’s, let’s just, Put it broad and just say self-care. Self-care can include masturbation. When, when it comes to self-care, self-love, you are doing things that make you feel good, make you wanna love yourself, and all this other stuff. Masturbation is just another form of showing yourself some kind of love.
It also gives you the opportunity to find the pleasure spots that other people cannot find or that they don’t know about. It helps you figure out what your sexual I forget your not sexual cycle. It might be sexual cycle, but the flow of your your body when it comes to peak to fall, it helps you understand, oh, in this.
Point of my body wants a little bit more nipple play, or my body wants me to rub on my legs some, or a different part of my body becomes a lot more sensitive. So let me explore that a little bit. While I’m engaging and jerking myself off, or playing with my clitoris or playing [00:57:00] with whatever body part that you want to play with, asshole, whatever you engage into, well, you get to know your body in a new a new way, a new sexual way that engaging with other people don’t often provide for you.
And it also helps. Give them the cues that they need to make sure that they’re pleasing you Well a thing I like to tell a lot of people is that if you don’t know what you like, how can you tell another person? Masturbation helps you find out exactly what you like Now. Yeah, sometimes when you engage with other people, they may do a little tickle, tickle somewhere.
You just like, oh shit. I did not know. I liked that. Hold up. Can we revisit that one more time and Oh, yeah. Right there. I know. I said one more time. We’re going to just make this last. This one moment is going to be for a day. Thank you so much, Lord. Thank you. When you get into those moments, yeah, they happen, but those, [00:58:00] those situations are a lot more rare if you if you don’t already know your body.
So masturbate, it’s a, it’s a spiritual connection based off of who the person is, how they practice their spirituality. So do it. It’s, it’s, it’s
It’s all about perspective and perspective is everything. And but, but people, masturbation is not less than penetrative sex or meeting with somebody. It’s, it’s hell, it’s sex. No, you don’t have to worry about STDs. You don’t have to worry about the games. People play on apps. You don’t have to worry about getting cut up in the edbd pieces.
You don’t have to. I mean, it’s all you. You can, like candles, put on some music, drip your honey over yourself. Mm-hmm. You make it a whole thing.
Vernon: Now you about to make me go off somewhere and hold myself out. Jesus,[00:59:00]
call me a bad bitch Vernon. Call me a motherfucking bad bitch. Choke me a little bit. Please stop.
De’Vannon: Look while you playing. My throat’s still a little bit sore from earlier today because that man was strong and so
Vernon: I love to see it.
De’Vannon: And y’all, y’all know your girl over here is submissive and loves to be dominated. And so, let me see here. I wanna touch briefly on sexual performance. I think every man I’ve ever gotten there from, and I don’t know if this is God’s way of pushing procreation along or what, you know, he feels some type of way. It’s like he’s, he, it’s almost like. It’s almost like you feel like he’s going to a job when he’s getting in bed and something like that.
And if that’s just the x y chromosome way, you know, fine. And not here to judge men for this. But I just wish that they would take, [01:00:00] I’m stepping into my full woman mode now. You know? I wish you men would take this, the stress off of yourself. It’s cause it’s kind of like a’s some, an anxiety. Mm. You know, that comes over men and I’m all like, we’re here, we’re naked.
So you’ve been accepted. So why the, I get that. You want to, I don’t know why it’s there. It, it, it can become corrupt though, because a lot of times these men are out here needing to have sex for validation of themselves. Mm-hmm. Even though he’s trying to get you off, you know, if he, even if he gives a fuck enough to do that, a lot of times it’s not out of care for you.
You know, it’s just, To make him feel good that he did a good job, you know, which I don’t like that, you know? Mm-hmm. You know, it’s about, it should be about both people being vulnerable and enjoying each other and giving each other, [01:01:00] whatever it is they have communicated is going to make them happy. Mm-hmm.
Period. So what, what is this whole performance? I gotta do this, this stress y’all be bringing into my bed.
Vernon: Hey. So I literally just did, like last month, I did a workshop that was based on per performance anxiety. And it, it does exist for a lot of men, and there are reasons behind it. Like when you look at the narratives that are pushed towards men, it is that you have to perform very well just so that you can keep your partner.
If you’re not bringing your A game, then, then this person’s not gonna ask you back, which is also a, a hit to their ego. It is. You also have that if you do not perform well enough, you’re less of a man, which also is a hit to the ego. So it’s so many different narratives that are pushed for men in general that makes us want to perform or outperform other [01:02:00] dudes.
So. We have to just really let that go and recognize that when it comes to sex, don’t go into this with expectations that it’s going to be top-notch. Go into that willing and ready to enjoy each other’s bodies or multiple people’s bodies because it’s a, it is an experience that an experience that’s worth.
Being lived not worth being a film. It’s not worth being something that you are performing like you are doing some type of porn. Porno. And porn is also another reason why there’s a, a lot of performance anxiety because people think that this, these sounds that these people are making are real. That, oh, I’m supposed to have my partner screaming out my name and all these other things.
But no, some people are silent. Some people do moan. Some people do sound like that, but that’s just how they express themselves. And if you need that kind of validation from your partner, like that verbal, then you have to [01:03:00] communicate with your partner about that too. But you also have to explore why is it that I feel as though I need that validation?
And a lot of times it’s because that’s the narrative that people decided to purchase because it was given to them. And you don’t have to do that. Another thing is when it comes to performance anxiety, is that. When we meet new partners, our we engage in sex with somebody, there’s that fear of being the the topic of discussion in the group chat.
And, you know, when you’re in the group chat, it’s not a good thing. So that makes people want to perform a little bit better to prevent any kind of shame or in indirect shame from after that sexual experience. Like, if this is a person that you’re not gonna ever meet up again with, why are you worried?
Like, just enjoy yourself. So that’s just some of the stuff, [01:04:00]
De’Vannon: even if it’s somebody that you love or you wanna get to know anybody who’s gonna judge you and dismiss you based on your sexual performance. It’s not a good person. Mm-hmm. Agreed. You, you are a human, you’re a child of God, and God created sex.
Not PornHub, not grinder, not none of those plates. I don’t care how they seem to have a monopoly on it. But no, you are more than your dick. You are more than your pussy and your titties and everything. And these people who say are like, say size queens and shit. And they’re like, unless you have a big black talk, don’t come over here, or this or that.
Okay. They have their preferences. It is not right for them to demonize it and make it seem like it’s a negative thing. If your dick is under a certain amount of inches, just be like, I prefer 10 and above, but no, no tea and no shade against nine point 11 inches in flow. You know? You know, and so people just got all kinda like fucked up in twisted [01:05:00] minds, but at the end of the goddamn day, It is a human connection that’s supposed to be a beautiful expression of something that God created is not supposed to be done in such a way that ever causes harm to anybody else in any way or to yourself and I that’s, and I just don’t think that that’s what it is in society anymore.
Mm-hmm. So, so men have performance anxiety and he cannot attune. I like, I don’t know what the other people told you. I am not judging you, you know, for the dick size, but you cannot accept what I’m saying because you have this anxiety so deep within you that you’re panicking with me, even though I am not the source of your panic.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I’ve had dicks that have been two inches all the way up to 17. Okay. And people ask me, people ask me, what the hell do you do with a dick that big whatever You can. And so anything but wrong, wrong anything but wrong thing will let you out the room anyway. But he, he just take his dick and block the door.
You can’t get out, trust me. And so, [01:06:00] but the point is, the point is, I didn’t turn down the two inch dick dude or the 17 inch dick dude, because I valued them as humans. Any, anything other than that, fuck ’em. You know? Let anybody make you feel bad because of your anatomy and shit like that. If you’re too fat for them or too scared, whatever, fuck all that, because that’s just insecure ass people putting that energy out.
Exactly. This brings me to the, to the, the downside of dating apps. This is one of the points that you emailed me that you wanted to talk about being single now. And even though we, and I was in my relationship, we were trying to become polyamorous anyway, so we would step into these apps and different things like that. Which is what made his cheating all the more stupid because we were already having orgies and shit with people anyway, and so, and having sex with [01:07:00] people separately.
We had paused it cuz the shit had got a little shaky. But what that was expected, all we had to do was go back to counseling and fix it. He decided to go cheat when we were already trying to be open. It’s so fucking stupid. So
Vernon: narcissist. He like, yeah, girl. Self-fulfilling prophecies. You know, this will never work out.
I do not deserve this relationship. Okay, so we’re gonna do something to fuck it up. Self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s narcissism. It is.
De’Vannon: Yeah. He asked me years ago, just kind of like in the middle of an argument at the end of when like, he asked me like why I was with him. Like he was saying, like, he did not gauge himself as being worthy of being with me.
I would never allow that to happen to, I would never persist because if a man don’t feel himself worthy of his queen, then eventually he gonna do something to fuck it up. But I didn’t, I never judged him. I accepted him as he was. You know, warts, fucked up, dirty ass wrinkle clothes, nappy hair, which I helped to fix, you know, and resolve at all.
I didn’t, I didn’t judge him for that or think him of less. I [01:08:00] just took a look to, looked at as an opportunity to add value. And so but now, but like tri, I’m single again. Back on the prowl. I thought it was perfect and I don’t know how. Oh yes, Trina, I’m gonna say it one more time. I’m single again. Proud.
Vernon: Yes. Trina, I dunno
Vernon: she’s a goddess.
De’Vannon: The diamond princess. The other diamond princess I take after her. If, if I ain’t mistaken, doc Scott, these people have devolved into a worst pile of negative goo on these apps than they were years ago. Cause I really hadn’t been on them just like that. It seemed like these people have gotten worse, more selfish, more gangs, more lying, more just toying with people.
Vernon: I [01:09:00] agree. I’m, I’m glad that this is this is sounding universal. Oh my God. Because I, I know here in the south, I’ve been in different cities. I’ve been in different states and I’m just like, why is this the same? Is it just because of where I’m located? Is this a problem? Lord, what do I need to do? Where should I go to find the freedom?
I’m glad that this is okay if it’s over there too. It’s just across the board at this point. The science is saying that the, it’s a significant difference between the years. Oh my God. But yes, I agree. It’s like, it’s just trash. I do not understand what the fuck happened. Yes, back in the day. Like I became accustomed to seeing like no fats, no fems, no oat people on people’s profiles.
But it wasn’t like that many profiles. You may get the flake every now and again. You may get the scammer or the massage person every now and again, but it wasn’t something that was frequent nowadays. You got the scammers, you got the flakes, the people who just wanna waste your time. The people who are [01:10:00] insecure, the people who just want bdl, but they’re like, Hey, let’s fucking public.
And I’m like, how the fuck does this work? How? People who just want to perform every single thing that say they see on Twitter, on the Twitter porn, because I, I’m a fan of Twitter porn, I’ll be honest. But talking to ’em about, Hey, let’s meet up at the gym. And I’m just like, but I have my own place.
Why do we have to go to a gym? What the fuck is going on? It’s just, it’s just a, I don’t know what the fuck is going on and what the fuck is in the water. I just need them to clean that shit out. Are, have we been drinking the water from Palestine? Is this what’s going on? But granted, that only happened recently, so it, it has to be some other kind of it’s flint water.
We’ve been drinking Flint water this entire time and all this led the guy, everybody on these damn apps, all the kind of fucked up. That’s what’s happening. That’s the conspiracy, y’all. Let’s go with it. I’m tired.[01:11:00]
De’Vannon: And I’m gonna talk about how you get addicted. It’s called a variable ratio reinforcement.
I, I discovered this shit that but fuck, I guess I’ll just go ahead and talk about it now. Because otherwise you can get caught in the in the variable ratio reinforcement.
And It’s the same thing that casinos use. So it’s like if you sitting at the slot machine or playing cards and you hit a little jackpot or a big one, you can’t quantify, I need to pull the slot or tap the button 15 times, 10 times. I need to deal two decks, two hands, or whatever. All you know is that if you keep at it, eventually something going hit, kind of like going fishing, you don’t know how many times you have to throw bait in the water.
But you know, if you stay out there long enough, you gonna reel something in. Mm-hmm. Even though you don’t know what the quality of it is gonna be or anything, if it’s gonna be really worth your time, you know the time and energy you’ve invested. And these apps have [01:12:00] an algorithm running the same damn way.
Everything is pre-programmed. The taps, the likes, the sounds they make, the, the certain keys that those sounds are written in. All of that is meant to play on your emotions and, and to keep you in that loop. That’s why you look around your whole damn day passed, and yet you feel emotional about it because you get a tap, you get to like somebody messages, you, you don’t know if this is gonna lead to the hookup your next husband.
I hope y’all got enough sense to not try to find a husband on Grindr. And so trust me, for my last relationship, you cannot turn ahoe into a husband. I tried, you know, however I meet a bitch,
Vernon: I’ll try to be turned to a husband. Hold up now. Yeah,
De’Vannon: but you’re, you’re a different kinda hoe because you’re a responsible thinking hoe who could never intentionally give somebody covid just to bust a nut.
True That, true that. So you, you use whole loosely. I [01:13:00] mean, a recklessly hoor person who gives no fucks about fucking married people and doing all of this shit that, that he did with no conscious, that type of trilon asshole. You cannot turn into a faithful husband. They don’t have the capacity.
Trilon host. You can’t make it to a husband,
De’Vannon: so, but they Right. But, but, but these apps play on our hopes, but we hope, we’re hoping for something good. And so you don’t know where that message is gonna lead. And so you stay there like, like a desperate person hoping that it’s gonna be the next one and the next one, the next one.
And that is called Variable Ratio reinforcement. Hmm.
Vernon: I see, I see that playing out quite well for a lot of people in terms of like, Feeding the addiction because even when I notice, like I’m not super attached to my phone, so I see whenever I get like a random message from some random account about like a they sent me an [01:14:00] image or a random tap, and occasionally I’ll look in there and just see what the hell, like, well, who is this go to the the account that sent the picture and it’s just a regular ass bot and I just, you know, delete that.
Or the tap is another bot. And I’m just like, where is these accounts coming from? Why are you messaging me? And I, I believe it’s because of like what you were saying, this is just to try to get me back on the app, to be searching for other people. Because once I open the app, now somebody sees my profile, they think I’m looking, they think I’m available, they think I wanna hook up, and now I have to have this conversation with this person.
Like, oh, I’m sorry, I’m actually at work. And I was just responding to a message. And even that. Doesn’t even work out well, I, okay. Is there anything else you needed to share before I go on with this little small rant?
De’Vannon: Ranon. Ranon.
Vernon: Okay. So, My, the issue that I really hate about today’s day is the fact that people, [01:15:00]like back in the day, it was so much easier for me to find regulars.
I can have a conversation. They’ll say, oh, this is my availability. When are you free? And all this other stuff. These days I’m just tell, I tell somebody, oh, I’m not available during the week, but I’m available through the weekend. Now we have a fucking problem because they’re just like, what you mean? Why?
Why can’t you hook up now? Cause bitch, I have a fucking job. Do you not work? Like, what? What do you mean? Or when you I engage with somebody and we do hook up or something like that, and I’m like, Hey, would you like to do this again? On a regular basis, they automatically think I’m trying to have a relationship.
No fem. I’m not no, that’s, I know what I want for a relationship and it’s clearly not you because we wouldn’t be having sex this frequently. Well this early on, if I saw you as being relationship material based off our conversations, you already disqualified yourself for that. So no, we are not going to be in a relationship.
You are here for Dick only. Why do you think it’s gonna be anything else? [01:16:00] No, the dick was not that good that I fell in love. And even if it was that good that you had my fucking legs shaking, that does not mean that we will be in a damn relationship because you will be here for good dick purposes only cause you were able to scratch the inch that not so many motherfuckers could scratch.
So go scratch the itch. That’s all you need to do. You have one motherfucking job. That’s it. Okay. Okay. But you know, these days it’s just, it’s just too much. It’s. As much as I try to communicate with people and have these conversations in a healthy way, it always gets to a point where I’m just like, you know what?
I just can’t even deal with this anymore. Like even right now in this time, I’m also, I’m in my transition off of these apps once again, and I just put ’em back on my phone back. I think it was like late February, I added them back onto my phone and I’m just like, it’s already, it’s already done. It’s [01:17:00] course, it’s time for me to get, get back off of this because there’s no substance to many other people on the apps.
It’s just, it’s a dumpster fire and it stinks.
De’Vannon: It’s a hellish dumpster fire. But you know, you know, as the Lord said in the last days, you know, men would become lovers of themselves. You know, you know, forsaking righteousness and good moral, good moral. Character and standards in treating people, right?
People would prefer themselves over even God. And that is what we’re seeing play out. It’s all about them. What they want, what they need right now, what can I get from you? You know, and you know, things like that. My like, like, like, like, like, like my ex thought it was cute that the guy he cheated on me was who he gave covid to.
He didn’t bother to pay attention whether or not the other dude nutted or not, like that was somehow a [01:18:00] good thing. I think maybe he was trying to say, I only care about that when I have sex with you and I, when I go hook up with people. And I told him, that’s really fucked up with you. Cause that person’s still a human and you, and you drove all the way up there damn near 30 minutes, damn near outside of the city limits to roll around in bed with someone for pretty much an hour or give them covid and you didn’t even care if they came.
This is not to your credit. But you,
Vernon: I’m like a violent person, but he really does make me wanna throw hands. Cause bitch you gave me covid and I didn’t get a Oh, and you didn’t care. Oh my God.
De’Vannon: Oh yeah. I wanted to hit him a couple of times, but I, you know but the, but this, this is the sort of example that God is speaking about as the days tick on and the sun sets lower in the sky, this is professed in these apps.
Everybody on there doesn’t care about anything about how many options they can have. [01:19:00]Hmm. And as Madonna said in the love perfusion song, doc Scott, there are too many options. There’s no consolation and no resolution. And as I say it, options are the illusion of freedom. You know, you think cuz you got all these people, you fucking 17 fuck boys or whatever, that you a king on a throne.
But really you’re entangled. You know, in a web of sexual control that has you, you don’t have it, you know, or whatever your options are. It’s not about for all the options people have, people are more depressed. Nothing about young fucking people. I can’t tell you how many people in their twenties depressed, but wait, you fucking, everybody you want or not?
You’re doing all the drugs or not? What the fuck do you want? You know, you grew up in a good house. You, your parents, you, what the hell does it take? Telling yourself the truth, working through your issues and getting close to God, which is what you don’t wanna do because you don’t wanna do everything else.
You have too many options [01:20:00] and just don’t know what to do with them. And so you overwhelmed and so you don’t really make progress cuz you’re trying to do every fucking thing, but nothing that really counts. And so, I wanted to talk about them damn apps. How you were saying, like they said in the bots to reel you back in.
Yes. It makes you have more screen time and talk to people, but that also relates to more money for them because then they can go and show people who are doing ad spin with them and buying advertisements ad spin, or is another way of saying advertisements. They can say, okay, our average user login time is this, so we’re gonna charge you more money.
You see, they don’t give a damn about the, the fact that they’re playing with your feelings and everything by baiting you back in. They’re only concern about the bottom line. Mm-hmm.
Vernon: And these days I realize that you’re on, if you check a message on Grindr and then click out of the message, [01:21:00] you’re automatically better to ad, and this ad lasts for five seconds, 15 seconds, what have you.
That that’s, that’s what they’re ad thing is these days. Usually you didn’t see any ads pop up on your screen or anything like that. You can go to a profile, go to the next one. Here’s an ad that’s like, literally, I just pulled up my Grindr. I clicked on a random profile, just clicked off of it.
Oh, it didn’t do it this time. Look at that. Look at God. Usually it just pop up a whole ass ad. I guess they d well, excuse me, make me be wrong today.
De’Vannon: But now it’s not as incessant. Maybe the ads then down. Who knows? I doubt they’re doing it out of the kindness of their fucking black hearts. It’s a, this is the last two things we’re gonna talk about. I’m gonna circle back to sex addiction and we’re gonna talk about limitations on having a big dick.
And so, cause I mentioned at 17 Ensure, and every [01:22:00] time I say, say that dude, just be like, what? Don’t listen. I’m like, okay. Right. So I want people to be sure that you may it check whether or not you may or not, may or may not be a sex addict. You go to s a eight.org, there’s a test on there. You can take it, ask you questions.
There’s different levels to it that you know, but. I want you to be honest with yourself because it’s a good rubric. Nobody’s saying you gotta run off and get a sponsor and join the programs and all of that. But these a sex apps promote sex addiction. Mm-hmm. I can’t how many damn people I meet who are willing to cheat on their boyfriends, cheat on their wives.
And and I have to tell them a bitch, no. I just broke up with somebody for being just like you and I’m not going to sew this karma into my life so God can fly down here and deal with my dark ass as I don’t gonna give a fuck about who I hurt. And so we can rationalize the way a million things in our brain mm-hmm.
To make it make sense. The things these [01:23:00] married men will say, you know, I love my wife, but I just have this side of me know ho go home and talk to her. She might be down with it. Hell, you never know Shit. Exactly. Give a good chance. Cause it’s not like she don’t know that. She will find out. We always find out, but just tell the bitch and be done with it.
And making a damn fool of yourself before all the angels in heaven and everything, cuz everything we do is watched. There are no true secrets. And so so I, I advise people to just go and being sex positive is one thing, but if you have a growing sex addiction, you need to get on top of that and, and take care of that.
It can sneak up on you and surprise you in different ways. You know, you know, in my relationship, my partner never initiated sex. He tried like three times. The, the first time was referencing sex he had had with somebody else, which I was uncomfortable with. The second time was with a bu, a bed full of sex toys.
And then the third time, the way he said it was [01:24:00] so fake, I couldn’t take him seriously because he’s only used to asking for sex through an app. And so I leveled with him. I was like, do you need to text me this request so we can work on building you up vocally? But these apps have stolen the voice of men, you know?
Mm-hmm. I was in Port Valer till the last time Sex closed in the streets there, but only if you’re on an app. I at a club. These two dudes wanted to hook up. I think I was still with my partner then, and though I could have asked for an exception, I was trying to honor him in our relationship and choosing not to.
And but they both had their apps on. They were clearly on Grindr as to say, Hey, if Deving gets his grinder out, which I didn’t have the app then maybe that means we can hook up. I’m like, or you could just tap me on the shoulder and be like, bitch, let’s fuck. But they can’t do that cuz they can only talk through technology.
So, I encourage people to just give yourself an honest look. You don’t have to tell anybody if you go to the website, but the shit gonna catch up with you one day. Because if you are addicted to it, and it can come in many forms [01:25:00] and you’re out of balance, you are only gonna hurt yourself. If there’s anything you’d like to say about sex addiction before I talk about these big dicks, and then we gonna close out.
Vernon: No, I, I agree with everything that you said. People really do need to like reevaluate their connection and their relationship with their sexual expression. This is coming from somebody who did not believe sex addiction was a thing because beforehand I just thought it was something that a lot of let’s say prominent figures would say they have in order for them to.
Not take accountability for the fact that they’re watching a lot of porn or they’re having a lot of sex, or they’re cheating on their their spouse, but it’s actually a real thing. Some people fall into sex edition by making in their game. So they gamify their sexual experience, meaning scoring and all this other stuff, and now they’re having sex and whatever, or they use sex in order for them to get dopamine.
That little sense of fulfillment and [01:26:00] that the only way that they can feel good about themselves is to have sex with somebody or to conquer a body or whatever the case is. Even when it comes to that connection with sex and drugs, that’s another way that people can e easily cycle into some kind of sex addition addiction too.
So definitely go to that site, figure out what it is, recognize, be able, be able to call a thing a thing and find the help that you need in order for you to find a healthy balance of how you can express yourself sexually.
De’Vannon: Mm-hmm. And doing fucked up shit, like going, running, doing corn jacking off or having cyber sex with people on apps and not reaching out to the partner that you’re in a relationship with is a part of that.
It is not cool to replace the sex with your significant other, with some, some dude off of a fucking app. Right. So but I’m gonna put that link to s a a in the show notes and I’m prob probably gonna put it down there in the permanent [01:27:00] show notes too, because sex is a huge problem in this world. Hmm. But so y’all, I talked about the 17 inch deck that I got impaled with and.
You know, I’m a power bottom and boys have been trying to get me to go to the bathhouse so I could, they never would tell me why, but once they could see, I could take Dick really well. They always wanted to go, I guess, put me on display or share me with the homies. Not that I wouldn’t have been open to it, but they didn’t look me in the eye say, this is what we have in mind.
They just wanted me to follow them down there. And whatever happens, happens, I don’t play that. You know, let this know what she’s thinking. And it’s not all glorious though, because I’m gonna tell you, and I’m saying this because some men have a preoccupation with Dick’s size, you know, I’m like, or whether it’s cut or uncut and all that.
And that’s a whole other can of worms. I’m, I’m just gonna say, don’t anybody judge you for your anatomy. Fuck them if they have a problem. But that, but fellas, if you don’t have the 10 to [01:28:00]17 inch ding Don, who cares? Not everybody wants all that. There’s some people who, there’s some people I know who have dick size limits.
Like if your dick is over, Seven or eight inches, they will not let you have sex with them. Period. Period. And, and that, that’s their limit. They respect their bodies. So not every door is open to you. Not everybody is chasing after people with 12 inch dicks and everything like that. Porn has glorified this and made it what it is, not in real life.
Mm-hmm. You know, cause remember in porn they have, they, they have all of these models, me, actors, actors, measurements. They know how deep the assholes go. The pussy holes go how thick everything is. It’s, it’s a setup. It is not like real life where you don’t exactly know how shit’s gonna fit. All of this is known before they even much press record on that camera.
And so whatever size you have, You know, work with what you got. You [01:29:00] cannot pick your own dick. So there’s no sense in sitting around being angry because you don’t look like the next guy, or how you think you should take control of your thoughts and conduct yourself with confidence, and that is how you win people.
The reason why I didn’t turn down the dude with the too inch dick, it’s because he, he had his chest up and out proud. Like he was fucking Mustafa in the damn pride rock in the damn Lion King bitch. And nobody, he, he went forth with power conquering, you know, you know, and, and, and none turned aside, like, and like, and everything had to get the fuck outta his way.
You know, I’ll be like, king shit, you could that king shit. I’m like, okay. You convinced? I’m convinced. All right. I’m be getting, getting much outta the sex. But I was just so floored that, that he thought so highly of himself and I, and I thought, this is how men should be. They shouldn’t relegate their value to Dick’s size.
Mm-hmm. It is not, you know, you can’t fit a whole long dick [01:30:00] into a hole fully. There’s, there’s no going balls deep for people like that. A lot of times, depending on the whole people, you know, depends, depend. But it’s not a guarantee. You know, some people will only fuck people with big old dicks like that, but then only marry and getting serious relationships with people in a more reasonable range for them.
So it is not all gra green grasses on the other side. You know, if you don’t have a huge dick, it is not all, it’s not all good. Everything has sides to it.
Vernon: I agree. I know, like even from my own personal history, I, I can’t say I had a 17. I sure as hell did not, but I did have someone who was like nine inches and thick as hell.
And that was like a struggle, but it was still enjoyable sexual experience after, you know, time goes past. But I also have some people whose dicks were like smaller than mine and I actually enjoyed the sex and it was actually great quality sex. It’s like, Whatever your size is, [01:31:00] be proud of it, love on it, and figure out how you can make it work with your sexual partners.
Does that mean switching up to a different position? Because, look, not everybody can do doggy style. I know for myself, I have a, I have a lot of ass and shit like you now everything can just, you know, penetrate. So it’s like if it, if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but we can figure different things out.
Do we need to do some frage play? Do we need to like, do some nipple play or? I, I, I do not do strictly oral. I’m sorry y’all, I’m sorry. I’m this, I’m not your boy for that. I’m just not. But like, are we gonna be doing some nipple play? Are we gonna be doing some neck biting, some neck licking, some ear nibbling, all these other things.
There’s different things you can do with people that does not even revolve around dick size. And when you people figure that out, oh my God, you unlock a truly new feature. So
De’Vannon: a whole new world. Hmm.
Vernon: A shiny [01:32:00] place I never knew.
De’Vannon: I’m gonna say this last thing here, and I’m gonna let you have the last word and tell people all about the importance of loving themselves or whatever the fuck you wanna say.
I just want the world to know that my asshole was still very, very tight over year.
Vernon: No, Lord,
De’Vannon: let ’em know. This is so serious because, you know, I’m talking about 17 inch dicks. I don’t think that, I don’t need these fellas thinking my hole is runt. Nothing like that. It is not okay. It is always maintained vine elasticity, honey, fine elasticity.
And plus I go each year to get my an rejuvenation procedure done. And so as I get older, Ms. Bussy gets tighter and tighter and tighter. She is still vice grippy Andy, and she will make you bust quick.
Vernon: Mm mm We love to see it. Look, I, I’m with, I, I don’t do the anal rejuvenation, but [01:33:00] I will say mine just stay tight.
It just is what it is. I I refuse to experience any kind of anal tear. That shit hurts. Y’all could have that. Not for me.
De’Vannon: Well, there’s power bottoms like me, and then there’s non-power bottoms. You gotta know what you can take, honey. Yeah, you got that.
Vernon: I didn’t audition for 50 cents show either. So I’m not nothing dealing with the power.
Fuck that. You got that more power to you. I, I bow.
De’Vannon: Oh God. Go ahead with your last word. Tell the people,
Vernon: oh, okay. So, so my last words to you all, I’m actually gonna read my, the thing that I closed my show out, but before then, y’all can find me over at the HPE podcast. Just look at all the links in the show notes. If you do need to ex explore yourself, figure out who you are sexually, I definitely recommend purchasing the [01:34:00] journal.
It has many prompts in there for you. It’s a very deep dive into who you are, and I’ve only been receiving great feedback from it. So that’s something that you can look out for. If you are also, sorry,
De’Vannon: sorry to cut you off, that’s at the qui.com website or Slaters Playhouse.
Vernon: This is at Slater’s Playhouse, the journal’s at Slater’s Playhouse.
Mm-hmm. If you follow me on Instagram the link is in the bio for you to go to the page to purchase those directly. On other than that if you are just trying to learn a little bit more about yourself and be a little bit more sex positive and feel comfortable about yourself, I definitely recommend purchasing the book, the Central Guide on How to Be Ahoe.
If you want to see what you’re going to be purchasing and you feel like you need to get the free version, there are some Chapters that are released online for you to review that. You can find that on Slate Playhouse. Chapters one [01:35:00] through three I believe are available to you free of charge for you to look at.
There’s also a digital download that you can have there too, but that’s pretty much it. Look at those links below. Now, my message that I usually leave for the audience on my show, just in case no one else told you this today. You are beautiful. You are worthy of happiness and joy. You are enough. And then some, you may not live up to the expectations of others, but that is okay.
You are only required to walk in your own shoes. May each day you live lead you towards abundance. And with that said, I love you all. And that’s it.
De’Vannon: That’s it for the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. We will see you next time. Thank you so much, doc Scott.
Vernon: You’re welcome, Laura.
De’Vannon: Thank you all so much for taking time to listen to the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. It really means everything to me. Look, if you love the show, you can find more information and resources at Sex Drugs in jesus.com or wherever you listen to your podcast. [01:36:00] Feel free to reach out to me directly at Davanon Sex Drugs and jesus.com and on Twitter and Facebook as well.
My name is Davanon, and it’s been wonderful being your host today. And just remember that everything is gonna be all right.