Episode #44: Sex Toys for Men and Women, Cumming on Command, Watching Porn in Church & Accepting Your Sexual Self with Layla London, Host of The Curious Girl Diaries Podcast

INTRODUCTION:

 

Layla London is the host of the Curious Girl Diaries podcast and a totally badass blogger as well!!!

 

Hi I’m Layla. I’m the typical girl next door who just recently decided to explore her sexuality. After a 3.5 year, self imposed, dry spell I woke up one day and said “What the heck am I doing to myself?”. Why have I just shut off that side of my sexuality? I need physical contact badly. I decided to stop “wasting the pretty” and get out there! Having set out on my “sexual road trip” I’m scratching things off my sex bucket list. I’m getting laid, exploring “kinks” (a word I really didn’t know anything about before this), having fun, sifting through the emotions it stirs up in me, blogging and podcasting about it anonymously. It’s been an amazing 5 years filled with great partners, sexy hot stories, amazing people I get to interview, love and some heartbreak too. I’m ongoing with my adventures and love sharing it all with my listeners.

 

 

 

INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to):

 

·      3.5 Years Off Sex!!! 

·      The Importance Of Being OK With Being A Sexual Being

·      Cum Vs. Come

·      Lots Of Sex With Lots Of Men!!!

·      Vibrators/Prostate Massagers For Men!!!

·      Prostate Orgasms

·      Watching Porn In Church

·      Cumming On Command!!!

·      Yay For Ass Sex!!!

·      Sex Toy Breakdown!!!

·      Can We Get Past Toxic Masculinity For Fucks Sake?!?

 

CONNECT WITH LAYLA:

 

Website, Podcast & Blog: https://www.thecuriousgirldiaries.com/

YouTube: https://bit.ly/3qOAr8g

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheCuriousGirlLayla

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_curiousgirldiaries/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thecurious_girl

Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/thecuriousgirl1

 

LAYLA’S RECOMMENDATIONS:

 

Lelo: https://www.lelo.com

Lovecrave: https://www.lovecrave.com

 

 

CONNECT WITH DE’VANNON:

 

Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.com

YouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCM

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopix

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannon

Email: DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com

 

 

DE’VANNON’S RECOMMENDATIONS:

 

·      Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)

https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370

TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs

 

·      Upwork: https://www.upwork.com

·      FreeUp: https://freeup.net

·      Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org

·      American Legion: https://www.legion.org

 

INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?:

 

·      PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.

https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

[00:00:00]

You’re listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De’Vannon and I’ll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what’s really going on in your life.

There is nothing off the table and we’ve got a lot to talk about. So let’s dive right into this episode.

De’Vannon: Hello? Hello. Hello everyone.

I am. So just vaguely with joy to have all of you. Beautiful batches back with me again on this week. I appreciate each and every last one of you, so damn much. Mom, mom, mom, mom, lock kisses and hugs to all of you. Beautiful motherfuckers. I am talking to a wonderful woman by the name of Layla London. 

This woman is the host of the [00:01:00] curious girl diaries podcast, and she also has a bad ass blog on her website as well, which you all need to check out. Your website is the curious girl, diaries.com. Now in today’s episode, we’re going to be talking a lot about sex and a lot about sex toys. So this episode is particularly useful in my opinion.

So we’re going to be talking about assets, prostate massagers for men. We’re going to be talking about watching porn and church and how a man can make a woman come on command. And I’m sure it could work for any of us too. If the tone is just right.

And then we round things out with a message to the man out there who are still holding onto this unfortunate, toxic masculinity,

because at the end of the day, we all just want to have a little fun. Please enjoy this episode.

Layla Layla, Ms. Layla London. Welcome to [00:02:00] the sex drugs and Jesus podcast today. How the fuck are you? 

Layla: Hey man, I’m taking me to church today. I am happy to be here. Let’s let’s bring it. 

De’Vannon: So I was so happy. You know, I was, I was tickled to my clit, you know, when you reach out to me on matchmaker about a possible collaboration your podcast is called the curious girl diaries, and you have Just about as filthy of a mouth as I do.

And that’s not something that I come across all the time. Usually I’m the most perverted person in the room. And so it was a breath of fresh air to take a look at your body of work. I also like that, at least according to your blogs, if you want to get into in a little bit that there is a little bit of at least some sort of church religious history there too.

And so it’s a very unique commonality to find people [00:03:00] who are able to speak freely about religion and about Dixon, pluses and assholes, even dirty assholes if it comes down to it and, you know, just sip camel milk tea as if we’ve done nothing odd. And so, yeah. And so I’m curious, there’ll be curious, girl, diaries.com is your.

Website, let me be sure I’ve got that right? Yep. The curious girl, diaries.com is your website very well organized website. Easy to find everything on there. I respect that about you. The matter website is made equal. 

Layla: Yeah. Thank you for saying that. And thank you so much for having me on I’m excited and I mean, with a name that like you have sex drugs and Jesus, I mean, come on.

Like I was drawn to that immediately, immediately. I’m like, who is this guy? I love that name and secretly I’m a [00:04:00] little bit jealous. And I think if I had to go, if I had a time machine, I’d go back in time. I just might have to steal that before you got it, because I think I started before you, so I don’t know.

There’s my little bit of snark there. I would’ve been like, oh, I’m taking Nat. 

De’Vannon: Yeah, you definitely started before me. You got damn near 300 episodes. I’m pushing 50. But I guess if we were to pull the freaky Friday in swap, then I would have the curious boy diaries that could have 

Layla: that’s right. I mean, or you could just, you could Moonlight as me, 

De’Vannon: Jack got plenty of wigs bitch.

Layla: I know. I know. And I’ve got long. I can’t tell, but I do have long hair. So, you know, you can, there’s a lot of room here. Yeah. I love wigs by the way, two 

De’Vannon: options. That’s 

Layla: right. So

De’Vannon: I know of you that you took three and a half years off from sex of any [00:05:00] kind. I want you to tell us about that in anything about your history that you feel like we should know. 

Layla: Yeah, well, yeah, let’s go back to the beginning. You know, I feel like a lot of people where you get sort of sidetracked, you’re focused on a lot of things and slowly but surely your, you, you build this habit of not prioritizing your sex life and it just, the more you do it, it gets easier and easier and easier.

Just like any, any habit that may seem awkward or hard in the beginning, the more you do it, it gets easier and easier, you know? And so I, over time, you know, got really, really focused on work. I’m kind of a type a, I love, I’ve always been an entrepreneur and I, when I’m into something, I just get hyper-focused.

And so to the, to the detriment of other things, and I just really kind of talk myself into this point of believing that. [00:06:00] I guess I just wasn’t that sexual and sex wasn’t that important. And that I, it, I didn’t need it that much, but, you know, work was kind of my lover and business goals, you know, and achieving things took over and that seemed more exciting at the time.

And then one day you know, You find yourself three and a half years later without any physical contact. And I just said, I literally just had this epiphany moment where I was just looking in the mirror and I’m like, what the fuck are you doing? You are wasting the pretty, like, stop what you’re doing right now, make an about face, raise this Titanic, fix this.

And so it took me about, I just kind of like, well, how do I do that? You know, I felt so out of the game, but I just really quickly kind of attacked it. Like I would any sort of business problem made a plan executed that plan. And then 10 days later, [00:07:00] you know, I’m having sex with someone. So I broke my dry spell, but then I decided it would be fun to me.

You know, make something really fun out of it. And, and the intention was that for a year I was going to come up with my sex bucket list and I was going to knock those things off my list and then do that for a year and document it the whole way. So my intention documenting it was I would start, you know, blogging about it and then podcasting just you know, about the sex.

But as I went along, I realized how hard blogging is and I don’t think I’m really any good at it. So I left that behind in year one and just, you know, I do have the gift of gab, so I just kept kept on podcasting, which came a lot easier to me. 

De’Vannon: How long have you been not salivate? When did you hop back on the Dick?

Layla: That was back in 2016, late [00:08:00] 2016. They’re 

De’Vannon: going on like seven ish years now. Yeah. 

Layla: Yeah. I think this is near six. Cause it was, it was around. I want to say September of 2016 when I broke the Darius bell. And then, you know, and I started doing the, the blogging and then the podcasting started in December of 2016 because I just was writing these writing.

These things was very, these encounters with these guys was very painful for me. It took me a long time. I would sit down and like, kind of could just talk this out so much easier than I can write it. 

De’Vannon: Yeah. And we’re going to talk about some of those blogs. I love me a good blog. And so, but before we get on that, I want to know.

So you have so many podcasts episodes and the blogs, even though you stopped, I noticed you have comments. Like a lot of people were [00:09:00] interacting with you on there. I thought your blogs were well-written. But I also understand, you know, when we discover our passions, we may leave one and, you know, transfer it to the next.

So I don’t judge you for stopping at all. I’m thankful that they’re still there and that you didn’t delete them or anything like that. Cause they’re quite juicy. So, so people are interacting with you. So have you had, had anybody tell you like some sort of positive change that has come about in their life from either hearing your podcast or reading one of your blogs?

Layla: A lot, a lot. And in fact, you know what? I just got one the other day. I’m glad you asked me that. Let me, it’s funny that you did. I just got this yesterday. Let me let me find it really quickly. I would love to read this, share this with you. Okay. So yeah, 

De’Vannon: no problem. So people are, are they like emailing you?

Oh, I see. On your website, you have like a voice message thing. So is this like a voice message that someone left you? 

Layla: I get tons of voicemails with lots of, you know, [00:10:00] a lot of positive reinforcement that way. And to people just like to ask me questions and chat with me and I get back to everybody, like, I’ll say you can leave me up to a five minute message and I’ll sit there and I’ll listen to it.

And then I and then I go, you know, I go through it and respond. So it’s, it’s what it’s nice is that it really allows me to connect with my audience to understand. What their takeaways are, what their struggles are, try to just give them advice. And I really feel connected to them. Like we’re in this together, like we’re friends.

And that’s been the thing that’s kept me doing this this long, because quite frankly, you know, I’m, I’m good with it. You know, I’m, I know where my priorities are that my sex, that I’m not going to let my sex life fall back the way that that did that, it isn’t important to me, but I’m just trying to keep the message that, you know, I know so many people, I don’t know how you get stuck in these ruts.

And then sometimes you’ll just let it [00:11:00] go. And, you know, I hear about, I’ve got listeners that have sexless marriages or sexless relationships, or it’s once a month or twice a year, just stuff like that. And I mean, this stuff just drives me crazy. So it’s really become kind of a passion for me. To keep doing what I’m doing and encourage other people to, you know, toe tip.

Like you don’t have to say I’m committing to this for the rest of my life, but give it a shot, you know, 30, 90 days of okay. Making, you know, trying to spice up your sex life or prioritizing it. But the message I got the other day, and I literally could almost, I mean, I, I did, I teared up a little bit. I’m like, this is why I keep doing this shit like, seriously, this is what’s kept me in this because in the beginning I was every year I was like, this is my last year doing it.

This is my last year doing it. Now, here I am six years later. I’m like, I’m just going to keep going. I’m going to ride the rails, the wheels off this thing. But I got a message the other day and it was. And he, and this gentlemen said I started listening to your podcast [00:12:00] on a road trip last week, listening to the January 8th interview with Eric flipped a switch in my brain about my whole marriage of 20 years.

And it hadn’t been as passionate as I wanted it. When I returned to my wife last Saturday, I absolutely devoured her and have been keeping things steamy between us for the last four days with dirty text, increased, dirty talk, not just in the bedroom, much more aggressive, physical affection. I’ve been telling her feelings and fantasies I’ve held back for years of being too much and she has welcomed it.

It’s like I’m finally able to express my love and desire for her without holding back, because I know that it’s my job to lead. I’d encouraged the idea of that before, but never really trusted myself to push out our boundaries. I feel more in love with my wife. Like I’ve fallen back in love, but even deeper this time and feel like I’m and he puts in parentheses.

We’re finally having the sex life. We’ve always wanted dirty, loving, [00:13:00] nasty, tender, passionate, deeply, intimate, all at once. Amazing at all at one amazing hot time. Thanks. You know, you get something like that. And you’re just like, holy shit. You know, I mean, that’s exactly why I’m doing this. 

De’Vannon: No, it was, yeah.

You go batching it for a guy to, to write a very intimately detailed letter like that. I mean, that’s not something you hear every day. 

Layla: I know, I know. I’m like he said this to me and like, I’m not kidding you. Like, I literally, I shed a few tears. I just, you know, just like, it was just so flattering and I’m so like, I, you know, I feel proud of him.

Like, I’m like, yes, yes, this is what I’m talking about right here. This is what I want for people. You know, I want them to be able to have that. So 

De’Vannon: your listenership is now 50 50 men and women, according to a podcast that I was listening to, but when it started out, it seemed like it was more [00:14:00] men than women.

Layla: You know what, I don’t know. It should, it shifts, it does shift that, you know, I get updates every month and I only, that’s only, I guess I should preface that. Cause that’s the only actual engagement on the website. I don’t really know download wise. And I know that most podcasters don’t have access to that information.

 But so it’s, and I can tell by who’s signing up for my mailing list. I can tell by who’s messaging me roughly, you know, but I would say that was I was excited. I think I, I shouted that out because I was like, yes, when you know, you’re, you’re touching up and, but it’s, it’s, I think it’s more like 60, 40 pretty steady, honestly, more men, you know, cause as dirty and raunchy as I talk.

It just naturally attracts men.

De’Vannon: Yeah. Yeah. We do like a, some good filters. I 

Layla: know. And I’m, I’m filthy, I’m this filthy as they [00:15:00] come. I mean, you can take me, I, I go to church and you could take me home to your mom, but let me just tell you, I have a mouth on me. I know when to use it. And when not to though, I’ll say that. 

De’Vannon: I noticed I you’re.

Right. Cause I noticed when I was reading through your blog and I, and one of the main reasons I love blogs is because it’s like a written document, like a Testament to somebody’s mind. Like, that’s why I love blogs. And you, when you spell com you spell it, like guys do like C M most, most women spell it. C O M a lot of my friends are romance authors and stuff like that.

And they always spell com C O M. Me and I was like the C U M too dirty for women or something like that. So you’re like the first woman I’ve ever met, who spells it the way guys do 

Layla: well, that’s how you differentiate. Right? I mean, we have words in the English language that sound the same, but they’re spelled differently.

So, you know, phonetically, you say to them the same, but there’s different spelling. Cause it’s actually a different thing. So I [00:16:00] kind of look at it. The same way 

De’Vannon: I can incur that. Yeah. That’ll get you a long way with guys. Like I don’t get the seal Emmy thing for some women, but whatever, 

Layla: that’s it, that, to me, that to me takes a good word and bastardizes it.

You have no right to do that. Are these people 

De’Vannon: there’ll be no diet Coke on this stage, bitch. We want the real thing. 

Layla: Hello? Come on. Who are we kidding 

De’Vannon: now on your website, you have blessed us with some delicious. The delicious section called guys. And you have like these hot ass men on there, I’m guessing they’re stock photos and not like the real dudes 

Layla: they are.

Yeah. Cause I wanted to protect everybody’s privacy. But what I did is I found a stock photo that looked like I really like some of these I’m like, there’s, that’s how they look. I mean, I really did a good job at finding photos that look like these guys. [00:17:00] And, oh, I got a fan myself when I think about it.

De’Vannon: She’s turning red right now. And and so we’ve got a lot of hot looking guys, some interesting made up fake names, but this, the stories, some of them are real. Some of them are fantasy. As I understand it. Right. 

Layla: Well, let me, can I click, I want to clarify that there’s only on the blog, there’s only two fantasies and I preface those as these are fantasies.

I just wanted to throw them in there. The majority of what I wrote on the blog is those are actual encounters and everything that I podcast about those are actual encounters. Until this past episode on it was a it’s actually coming out today. I decided to do a FA I just decided, you know, I mean, after doing so many episodes, you got to get creative.

And I was like, well, wouldn’t it be fun if I just did like a fantasy [00:18:00] episode where I took some elements And then I had to create a story around that. So, you know, the story is I just drew from like different experiences with the guys and, you know, I had different elements. Like it was like a, a remote cabin and he was edgy, you know, he did some, these are the things that were going on edging and I was kind of like a prisoner and he was, what else?

Oh, fucking me in the mirror. And so I had to create the story around these different elements and you know, how I got in this situation. And so I just sat in free, float it and recorded it and published it nuts, coming out probably in a couple of hours. So that was kind of, but, so just, I want to clarify the stuff that’s on there.

 It’s 95% is all my, the premise of the show is it’s about my sex life. And so I am always talking about guys, I’m having sex with and what we do and things like that. So if it’s ever a fantasy, I always make sure that I. Make everybody aware like, Hey, this is just a, this, [00:19:00] this isn’t real. This is just a fantasy.

Well, 

De’Vannon: grab your dildos, ladies and gentlemen and direct Halo’s new episodes is going to be released today. And we will be talking about dildos and vibrators and even a sex toy for men later on in the show. 

Layla: I love that 

De’Vannon: I had to look that one up myself. 

Layla: Oh, really? I’m good. 

De’Vannon: So I noticed that there was a type and I wanted to talk about the guys before we get into the blogs, because these guys appear in the blog.

And so tell us about your type. He seems to be very tall. I said, and there was all the guys going to be over six feet, you know, that type of thing, you know, very good shape and such. Is that about kind of like your type? Because if I, I believe you’re in, so yeah. So I get that a lot of tall girls, I know, like tall man, that makes sense.

Layla: Yes. Because you know what it is is that I’m tall and [00:20:00] you know, even though I’m thinner, I it’s, you have this thing where you feel like I always have, I don’t know, you know, it’s just some weird thing. Like I, you know, I feel like big, you know, cause everybody’s short and, and all these. And women wise, you’re like all my friends, I’m the tallest one, that kind of thing.

And so I just, when for me to really feel in my feminine, I feel the most feminine when I’m with a man that makes me feel small, you know, like, oh, he just picked me up and tossed me around. Like, it’s nothing, you know? And I’m like, no, it’s just that, that is part of it. That’s part of getting in my head, you know, where I’m like, I feel, I feel small and say from protected and I just, and a man that’s going to manhandle me and he’s big and strong.

Oh, that just gets me so wet. So I am going to that I’m in, at the taller guy. So that feeling that I get from it. 

De’Vannon: So how do you, [00:21:00] how do you meet these guys? Are you like on dating apps? Are you meeting them through friends? Like what’s 

Layla: Well, I’m, I’m a pretty good flirt but mostly dating apps, but. Yeah, I mean, 90% dating apps, the rest, like literally, if there’s a tall guy in the room, I can, you know, I’m going to single him out and make sure that I at least engage in some conversation or even, you know, some guy pumping gas across from me, you know, I’ll I have to say something and, you know, to see if I’m interested to see if I can sort of spark, you know, spark something, assuming his single, you know, then I want to make sure I don’t miss an opportunity, but, but I would say dating apps are really just the easiest way to, you know, shoot fish in a barrel.

De’Vannon: Okay. Let’s dive into the blog. The first one that caught my eye was called centers. Insane. Yeah, you can you tell a story in here you’re setting in church and then somebody who you’re [00:22:00] seeing on whatever level sends you a picture of his, his ripped body, as I recall it, and if him masturbating and so that part is real, but then.

But then you launch into a fantasy that you’re having, when you, when I read this, the first thing that came to my mind was, oh, no, she was in church on all saints day, which is a big thing in the Catholic world where they celebrate everybody who, I guess, whoever the fuck decides it’s supposed to be a Saint and then they get together and celebrate them.

Yeah. So this is like, probably like one of the biggest days of the Catholic year. And this bitch is in there watching masturbation porn. And I loved it. 

Layla: I’m like, oh my God, because I’m sitting there and this text comes in and I look, and it’s from Clark and he is this guy. Let me just tell you, whoa, literally again, that picture [00:23:00] looks like him.

 And he’s so. Amazingly looking he’s he’s, he’s an 11. I’m not joking. Like he’s a model S like just chiseled, beautiful specimen of a man and a great guy, too. We’re still really good friends. And I get this thing from him and I’m like, oh my God. And I’m, you know, I’m trying to pay attention, but I’m distracted.

And then my mind just starts wandering. I just, I’ve had a lot of interesting church episodes. If you let you know, if you continue to listen, then they’re sprinkled throughout the podcast, you know, on my butt plug, almost coming out when I’m going up to get communion. I mean, like something about church, and now that I’ve done this stuff, I start to associate it with.

 Turn on it’s it becomes a turn on for me. So when I get there, I really have to try to start, you know, get my brain where it’s supposed to be and focus on. What’s supposed to be going on. But on this day I got so distracted and I [00:24:00] started just have this fantasy zone out, have this fantasy about about Clark and I, you know, I’m fucking up there on the altar and, oh man, you know, and I’m looking at, cause I’m looking at all the paintings and everything like where we’d be, where we’d be.

And you know, all of these, all of these saints would be watching us, you know, as he’s just totally taking me. And I’m succumbing to this sin, the simple act and oh, it was, yeah, it was this hot. I just let my mind just go. 

De’Vannon: Well, there’s a lot of temptation in church. Like when I I don’t really go to churches anymore, but when I was going to to mega churches, you know, particularly when I was at Lakewood church in Houston, Texas, before I got kicked out for not being straight, the past that the youth pastors there were, they had two of them.

They were. No one got fired, then they brought it back another one. But they both look like Abercrombie and Fitch models, both. [00:25:00] They had like zero body fat, skinny jeans, soccer, football bill. And that was the first time in my life. I’m like sitting in church with a hard-on, you know, and wanting to fuck the pressure, you know, when he made some past to some pastoral penis, that’s the pastoral care I want.

It

made me think about my babies for being turned on in the church and using the church pamphlet to cool yourself down. I know it’s like, oh, oh my gosh. Yeah.

So then let me see. I’m wanting to I want to talk about the blog called nice bag of tricks. Next I’m going to read a little splotch from cause I do like to read on my podcasts like mama Ru Paul always tells us reading is fundamental. It is. So sometimes we just need to get back to the basics. [00:26:00]Now we get back to the hotel and he’s brought with him a good size bag full of play toys.

I can’t wait to see what he’s going to pull out. Very quickly clothes are coming off and I’m getting picked up and mounted right on top of his very, very thick cock. I have to say for sure, this is the thickest cop I’ve ever had inside me. Unbelievable. The way it fills me up. Oh my God. And it feels so good when a man picks you up and bounces you up and down on his cock.

Holy shit. It feels amazing. I’m getting so wet and turned on and, and, and share. I’m sure I’m dripping all the way down as balls. This man is cut like a Roman God and his strength makes my girl brain go crazy in my pussy URI. Yes. I want to know. Now this is like the black guy on your web was high D yeah.

I wouldn’t know how big this Dick 

Layla: was. Oh my God. Okay. I, [00:27:00] I wish I had see I’m in my office. I wish I had the D my dildo. I have this like oversize, I call it oversize dildo. Like it’s like, I only busted out for special occasions and this reminds me, this dildo reminds me of D. And so, like, I aren’t no joke.

I mean, I would say like, it’s like that girthy, like soda can girthy and. And probably like, oh, I’m going to say like seven or eight inches long. And then the soda can girth. And I remember when I was with him, I’m like, I just cannot, like I worried about fucking him all the time. Cause I’m like, I’m going to get stretched out.

You know, this is something, this is a special tree. You just don’t want to be. I don’t know. Like if you were with, if I was with him for like years and years, like where, where would I go from there? You know, I w I guess I’d have to step down. I [00:28:00] mean, because you don’t like, you just don’t run across that very often, but I would say yeah, to date, he’s still the biggest guy, biggest cock I’ve ever had inside me, like real life, one 

De’Vannon: around.

What about the longest? 

Layla: Longest probably cowboy in the longest. Yeah. Yeah. And he’s in cowboy ends pretty thick too. He’s not as thick as D but he’s thick. So he’s long and thick and deep. I mean, you know, women aren’t that deep. So this is by, you know, we’re like four or five inches deep, I think standard, you know, so these are all big cocks, you know, like they’re bottoming out.

De’Vannon: How long with the cowboy we talked at 14 inches, 12, 10, 9. Oh no, 

Layla: no, no. I’m trying to think. Oh, I would say probably like, I get it wrong. He’d probably kill me. Eight or nine, [00:29:00] probably nine it’s long. Yeah. And thick. If that was the Goldie Cox phenomenon, like just right. I mean, it’s almost a little too long. I’d have to say because sometimes we get, we get, we got into some really nasty stuff, but like sometimes, you know, It would hurt a little bit when, you know, when it was that deep, but I got, I got into it, you know, like, there’s that pleasure pain factor, you know, you get into, so we got, we did a lot of BDSM and stuff like that.

So I was, I was ready mentally prepared for all that. 

De’Vannon: What about the smallest,

Layla: let me see, who had the smallest tech? Oh my gosh. Well, I don’t know that I’ve had any, like none of the guys really on that. Oh, wait a minute. Why w why? W but he knew what to do with it. It was not, and it wasn’t, I mean, you know, it [00:30:00] was just, he wasn’t small. It just was the smallest of the guys and he He just, he knew what to do with it, so it didn’t matter.

And it was, and that his Dick got really hard. I mean, blood flow is important. Like, I will take a super hard one over a long, you know, if you can’t get a wrecked or fully erect, like angry or act, that’s what makes a difference. 

De’Vannon: Preach. The smallest I’ve had has been about something smaller than my pinky is the only time I’ve ever seen a man actually use a tuxedo condom.

And his confidence was as though he was the king of the jungle. And so then I’ve been in the room where there’ve been really big and they wouldn’t get hard no matter what I did. So I agree with you. I just give me something that works 

Layla: that’s right. I mean, it’s really not, I mean, yeah. I’m so again, I’ve never like what you just showed me there.

That was that I’ve never come across that, but I, well, hold on. I should take that back. I do. That’s [00:31:00] this micro penis. Yeah. I did have this one guy who was really really skinny. It was like a Sceptre it wasn’t, it was long, but super thin. And he had good blood flow, so it was okay. But it was really, you know, it was kind of like, yeah, he was gorgeous too.

Like us. He was actually a model when I traveled all around the world modeled just a beautiful, beautiful man. And but he was really insecure and and he had a, I call it a Sceptre. It was like this sectory like the bod crane, skinny type of pain.

Yeah. But it worked, you know, and I mean, Hey, I’ll get myself off. Trust me. Like, I’m not going to waste it. Like, if, if I’m, if I’m naked exposed, like it’s going to go down, I’m going to make it happen.

De’Vannon: Okay, well, speaking of, of the, of the [00:32:00] BDS the reading in the blog called fit to be tied, and you’re talking about how you love being tied up, why, what, what is it about ropes that does it for you?

Layla: There’s a lot that goes into that for this, for, for, for all of this BDSM stuff, a big part of it was, was the person I was with.

So this guy ended up being my dominant and we were together for three and a half years and, you know, and I was his submissive. And so there was just this amazing bond there and intimacy was crazy. But the timing is. I like it because I love when the attention is on me. And when you’re in the. BDSM. I mean, the submissive, in my opinion, everyone, you know, you don’t, don’t pay attention, all that stupid shit you see on you know, on Tumblr [00:33:00] or Twitter, you know, all these like gifs and memes.

It’s, it’s, it’s an even power exchange. It’s actually, it’s about both, but there’s so much emphasis on the submissive, you know, and teasing her and pleasing her. W it takes a lot of time to intricately tie up a woman or man. And so while that’s happening, you know, he’s touching you, he’s thinking about exactly the placement of the, of the ropes and, and he’s creating this scene and you don’t know what’s going to happen, but he’s done a lot of work and prep.

And it’s kind of all the things that, you know, people in vanilla, vanilla relationships are looking for. Like, I wish he put some thought into it. I wouldn’t, you know, I wish they keep you spontaneous or that, you know, all that stuff like this is what’s happening. And so, you know, when, when someone sits there and ties you up in the.

With the ropes. It’s very intimate. It takes a while you’re touching each other, [00:34:00] he’s giving you all this attention and, you know, and then, and then it’s just the way he wants it. And then the fun. And then even, you know, then the, then the sex starts, you know, and he’s just fucking, you like crazy exactly the way he wants.

And then you get to feel like, you know, you’re being taken and possessed and owned and claimed and oh yeah, it’s, it’s just a lot of good stuff going on at once. So I love it. And I liked, I liked the I’m, his dirty little slut, you know, and I have to do exactly what he says and I’m being restrained and told and, and it’s hot, 

De’Vannon: all the things I’m going to read a little bit from the one called fit to be tied.

 Being fucked in the ass, always hurts a bit in the beginning, but then I relaxed into it and it starts to feel good. Then he puts his finger into my sopping wet. Let’s see the feeling of having both my holes filled at the same time [00:35:00] while I’m stimulating. My clit is so fucking hot. My brain literally shuts off and all that pleasure is just rushing in overwhelming, turning me into a shaking, sweating, multiple orgasmic mess.

Yep. 

Layla: That’s about that’s exactly what happens. Yeah. Yeah. 

De’Vannon: And so isn’t there a read about how he would edge you and Tim to you would want him to get you to squirt or comedy wouldn’t and then he would let you, and then you thought you were done, then he would tell you to come again. Like he commanded you to, and you did.

 How, how, how walk me through our guy can have that much control over you. You want him to, and he can just tell you to come. It’s like magic and you do 

Layla: okay. That’s some fucking Jedi mind trick, booty magic shit. I’m not joking. I’m not joking. But so let me try to break this down and the best way that I understand it again, [00:36:00] the, what I love about BDSM and that dominant submissive dynamic is that it takes so much communication and so much trust.

And these are the things that I find are genuinely for the most part lacking in a. Physical intimacies, you know, even though, you know, even though it’s your husband or your long-term boyfriend, like people don’t communicate very well and, or, you know, and they’re just, or they’re just doing the same thing.

They’ve always done BDSM demands that you have to have really, really good communication. Otherwise somebody could get hurt. I mean, there’s just, you know, and if you have a good, strong, dominant to lead you through this, it makes it easy because he’s just gonna, he’s gonna help you get there. But once you, as a submissive, once you finally do get there and you let off, you didn’t realize how many barriers you had up.

And once you let those barriers down and you really trust this person, they can’t they’re so [00:37:00]in tune with your body and you’re so in tune with their body, that they know. Exactly where you’re at and they know how to excite you, whether it’s by stimulation through voice. And w you know, once you guys are synced up, it’s just like magic.

I mean, now he’s, he is an extremely good lover. Like, you can’t have some debt, you can’t have some guy that doesn’t, you know, or your partner, who’s not paying attention to your body and your cues, and hasn’t taken the time to learn you and conversely you them. But once you get to that point, I mean, just his, you want to, you just want to please your dominant so much that, you know, when he hit him growling in your ear and telling you to, you know, come for me, like you, it just pops your head off.

Yes. You’re so just hyper turned on at [00:38:00] that point that you can, you can literally do it or it won’t take you that long, you know, to, to just get back over that hump again. You know, considering you’ve had enough time between your last orgasm or whatever, but yeah, it’s amazing. It’s I fucking miss that shit.

It’s good. Yeah. I still, I get the tingles every time I think about it. It’s like, oh, neuron. Yeah. Good stuff. 

De’Vannon: I’d like to say getting fucked in the head sounds like very good stuff. And I can see the joy and the Gumdrop smile, you know, just reverberating off of your beautiful face. I would say getting fucked in the ass, I agree does hurt at first, but then once she relaxed and you get, you know, gets you get into it.

And I love it when people who. Do not necessarily operate in the LGBTQ world, speak openly about anal sex because yeah, thumb very food is conservative [00:39:00] people, usually Republicans and things like that tend to demonize my people as these filthy sexual perverts, you know, well, not all gay people have anal sex and then plenty of straight people enjoy anal sex.

So to me it’s just another whole big deal and and it’s totally erogenous zone and in the Ash should not be something that is skipped out upon is not something that should be frowned upon. And you’re really doing yourself a disservice if you’re just letting your asshole. Go to waste pine intended.

Layla: Yeah. Don’t waste them pretty back there either. No, I’m with you on that. And I, I don’t know what episode it was. I spoke about this recently. You’re jogging my memory, you know, where I just said, oh, I think it was my sex toy episode, you know, where I was going through different sex toys. And I was really, you know, [00:40:00] it’s like, I encourage men to whether you’re, you know, it doesn’t matter what your orientation is.

Men, if you ha, if, if you’re a penis owner, you have a prostate, you know, assuming everything’s healthy back there, you have a prostate, it’s like your G-spot and to not explore that, you’re just, you know, you, you you’re like women. I mean, we have all these different ways we can orgasm. So to men, you know, and it’s not just on the tip of your piece, not just from your penis directly, you know, there’s other things.

I mean, I don’t know if you. You probably didn’t catch this one, but I’ve but one of the guys that I wrote about D I’m sorry, not D no, no D and not D I did, I did get his prostate. He was like, whoa, what did you just do? But B he, I fisted him and it was amazing to watch. It was amazing to see how much pleasure he got out of that.

And that I was [00:41:00] controlling that and, and giving him that and to see the strength and power of that orgasm was like, holy shit. That’s when I knew men’s, men’s prostates are powerful. So if you, you know, if you’re ignoring this stuff, like you you’re really doing yourself, a disservice and women, too, a lot of women can have G-spot orgasms, or, you know, through there, you can feel it on your G-spot or you can actually cause the way the clearest runs.

And when you can kind of hit the front and back of the. Whether you’re in, inside the vagina or in the anus and you know, you you’re just missing out on a whole lot of pleasure. I don’t see the point and deny yourself any pleasure. I do not. 

De’Vannon: Well, like Madonna said, if it feels good, then I say, do it. I don’t know what you’re waiting for.

Layla: That’s right. That’s exactly right. 

De’Vannon: So then we’ll segue right on over into the sex toy section with that, I heard you talking about the [00:42:00] fisting of the prostate in the sex toy episode of your podcast. And you were talking about how men can have a hands-free orgasm this way though. And I think that that’s what you were describing.

So in, on that podcast, you were saying lilo.com, L L o.com. I’m going to go back to your website and see if you have affiliate links for these people. I’m going to put that in my show notes. Okay. And then it’s, I’ll be sure to put that in the show notes. So lilo.com is where Laila gets recommends the men’s prostate massagers from it’s called Hugo or Google.

If you want to be, you know, Latin American li correct. That’s right. And but let’s get more into this though, because on there with listening, you say something about it being remote control. You were saying, guys can use this while they’re fucking their girl. Tell us more about this. [00:43:00] This, this is.

Layla: That’s right. Yeah. So it’s it’s you know, it stimulates your prostate state. It’s it’s you know, it vibrates Lilo makes great products, by the way, they’re just really, really good solid brand. And this one has a remote control, you know? And so, I mean, my mind just got going, like all the ways I could, depending on my mood, like if I was feeling, you know, if I was just feeling very bossy and I wanted to be in control, you know, I could edge him with it.

I could tie him down and, and just use this mercilessly on him. Anyway. I feel like it until I just an edge him with it. Or just during re you know, when you’re having sex regularly, you can use it together. And while he’s fucking you, I mean, he’s also getting his prostate stimulated and you get to control it, or he can, or just set it, you know, set it and forget it.

I don’t know, you know, put it on the speed. You’re like, Go for it, but [00:44:00] I love multiple, you know, like I we’ve already discussed here that you’ve read. I mean, I like to have every, you know, this whole field, that whole field vibrator. I mean, give me the triple. Wow, wow. Put something in my ass, put something in my vagina, put something on my clit.

Let’s go for it. Like those are really powerful orgasms. And again, I just don’t see why I don’t see the point in not fully just getting all the pleasure that you can when you’re, you know, when you’re with your partner and fully enjoying that experience. So yeah, I would definitely check out, you know, men check out the Hugo.

De’Vannon: I concur and let me see. Okay. So it’s not like a gay thing. If a straight guy wants some ass play. And I know that you agree, cause you were talking about this on your show. You were like you were saying like, look, it’s not homosexual. You were the girl after all. I I’ll just add live. You know, when for fuck’s sake, you know, a woman, there was no other men in the room.[00:45:00]

And so I would like to encourage him to get over this staunch and stringent. And I’m just not to say closed minded, but I mean that affectionately, because like Layla was saying, you’re denying yourself. Pleasure. If you’re in that room. Yeah. You know, little ass play happens or whatever, you know, no one has to know.

And you know, the girls not going to go blabbing all over town, women just don’t people just kind of don’t do that. I mean, people would have a worst breakups and they usually don’t go, oh yeah. Let me tell you all, I fucked them in the ass. One time. This is going to make her look like a bitch to do that.

Layla: Exactly. I know

men. Okay. Men, men, men. I don’t know how to find me. Let me reason with you and your man. Let me get my mail, but let me do my best mail speech. Okay. Let’s be practical. Practically speaking. Yeah, the, a [00:46:00] prostate it’s in there. Every male penis owner has them. So therefore. If you want to, you know, if you want to, underutilize it go right ahead, but I don’t recommend it

if it wasn’t get it. Listen, if it was, if it was, you know if strictly for, for gay men, then only gay men would have them. That’s just not the case. You know? Like it’s not the case. So it’s for it’s for male pleasure period. So 

De’Vannon: that’s a period with a T at the end of it, as we would say that’s right, 

Layla: exactly.

So, yeah, go for it guys. Just stick your finger in there and figure it out. I mean, play around, get some loop. It’s not, self-lubricating get along. Lou, just, you know, go up to like your first knuckle. [00:47:00] See how that feels, because it’s not that far back in there, you know, it’s your, your prostate’s not that far back in there, so it’s not like you got to really dig 

De’Vannon: the it’ll be all right.

So tell us about the one called the enigma. 

Layla: The enigma. Let me say well, which one would refresh my recollection? Do you remember? 

De’Vannon: Oh, that one is from Lilo, right? We live without calm as well. And 

Layla: was it like a, was it, oh, was it a double? That 

De’Vannon: was the one. I think that was the one I believe that was double 

Layla: stimulator.

Right? I 

De’Vannon: think just the one that you said it either is like super. No, no, I think that’s the one that you said that is the replacement for the rabbit ears. Maybe. 

Layla: What was that on? Was that Lila or was that.

De’Vannon: Yeah. So y’all, she has two websites that she recommend [00:48:00] love Eva lov ECR v.com. Other one. And we’ll get back to the enigma in a second though. So let’s switch over to the Vesper because this 

Layla: the best for, oh, I just, I had it on and I T I I’m not wearing it right now. Darn it. Okay. 

De’Vannon: Tell us about the Vesper.

This is very unique. 

Layla: Oh my gosh. First of all, when you go to that website, I just, I actually am having a call in later on today with T who is the founder, one of the founders of that company. I just am. I’m in love with her, her passion. You know, it’s a woman creating sex toys, great, amazing sex toys beautiful sex toys.

Like they’re, you know, they double a lot of them double his jewelry, but even the ones that don’t, you know, are just very elegant. I mean, they appeal to the female. I, you know, you want something that’s beautiful and, and you know, some of the let’s face it. I mean, some of the sex toys that, you know, were coming out of China or whatever, you know, [00:49:00] they’re not beautiful.

I mean, they get you off, but you know, if you can, when you’re appealing to women, if you can ha if it can be beautiful and give you multi-orgasmic items, I mean, like that’s where we’re going to go. So her stuff is. Really great. Really amazing. And she’s got one product. That’s the, I think that’s the enigma, right?

Where it it’s, it’s like the replay we’re placement for the rabbit ears, the Mr. Bunny that probably all of us have had, or experienced those vibrating ears that got our clits for the very first time. And we’re like, whoa, whoa, what is this? This is amazing. It’s kind of the updated modern version of it.

And And it’s sleek and elegant and beautiful. And again, you can engrave it, you know, you can put in fun, fun, little engravings on it, just like a lot of a lot of the stuff that love grave, you can engrave it. So it’s fun, you know, it’s, it’s, she’s marketing very well to women, but th but the products are amazing and they feel amazing the strength and the power, they don’t run down and [00:50:00] just give you a dull little, w w w now this is some strong vibration and the Vesper, same thing.

It’s a beautiful necklace. Looks like a necklace and you wear it. And then you know, when you’re ready for some action, you just like detach it and it’s ready to go. So it’s kind of fun that you’re out wearing it doubles as a necklace, looks like a necklace, looks like a beautiful piece of jewelry. And then when you’re ready to, you know, even if you’re out in public, you know, you want to slip that thing off and under the table with your partner or what, however you want to use it, however creative you want to be.

You’re just ready to go. Plus. You know, when you walk out wearing that and other Vesper, where’s see you, it’s bold, you know, it’s like, oh yeah, she’s good to go. Like, it’s, it’s cool. I like it. This is definitely, it’s definitely saying something.

De’Vannon: I’m just so like, oh my God, like all of these different, like sex toys and everything are just like absolutely fascinating, you know, because they add [00:51:00] spice to the bedroom. We also need guys to get over being insecure about sex toys. So they’re not trying to replace you with them. It’s just another option, you know?

And so I wanted to, so I’m on Lilo’s website, pulled up the enigma, the word, this branded is absolutely fascinating to me. The person, the model looks like a trans person or somebody who’s. Who like, I can’t really tell what the sex is and they’re doing a fun word play in the middle of the screen that says, well, it says unknown pleasure at the top.

It says kind of like unknown sex, unknown pleasure than the middle screen. It says transits and until bliss. So well, because 

Layla: you could use that for, you could use this on a man or a woman.

De’Vannon: But I’d love it. Cause I love how [00:52:00] open-minded. And how on brand, this is this series, like a big shout out to the two S LGBTQ community. You know, it is very inclusive the way they have this branded.

Layla: Yep. Yep, exactly. So you can, you could be, I mean, you can use this it’s it can be for your clit and your G-spot or you can be stimulating your, paraniem or your balls with it. And then your prostate like this, this is multi-purpose and who does, I mean, the more stimulation, the better, I mean, when you can get like a two for one, Ooh, because I’ll let me speak frankly, here, because as I should, right.

I mean, if you are, if I let’s, if I’m trying to get what I’ve literally. Before they started getting super creative with sex choice. It’d be like, okay, I’d have something. If I’m masturbating, I’ve got something in my ass. I’ve got you [00:53:00] know you know a dildo in, in, in my pussy. And then I’m. Maybe using a third device or a dildo with a vibrator on top to hit my click.

You know, I mean, I’m trying to get like the triple wow effect, but I, you know, I mean, I, so I’m trying to sit on something and stuff at my ass. And then you know, then I got to work my knees and I’m like, no, no, this, this allows you to lay on your bed. If you want, if you don’t want to be that physical with yourself and you don’t want to have that active of a session, I mean, why not have stuff that’s multipurpose, then, then you got three toys to clean out.

You know, when you’re done with that now, now you just got this one here and maybe you throw another one in there, but, but I I’m telling you if you can hit your G-spot and you’re cleared at the same time, that’s, that’s pretty darn good. You’ll be pretty happy. I’m waiting for somebody to actually make.

And I hope toy manufacturers are hearing me. I want a triple. Wow. Wow. [00:54:00] Something, something that’s got three stimulators on it goes into. It goes, goes in your pussy and hit your clip. That’s my request to the sex toy gods.

De’Vannon: And 

Layla: if anybody knows of it, if anybody knows, if it exists, please, please, please, please email me. I’ll be your best friend. 

De’Vannon: So we’ll send you a video with a live demonstration. 

Layla: Yeah. You might not get to see my face, but you know, I might, I might be bold enough to send out some sort of some, some sort of special.

Thank you. 

De’Vannon: Okay. So. I know we went kind of back and forth there with those to a sex toy websites. So again, they’re love crave.com, L O V E C R E v.com and a lilo.com L E L o.com. I’m on Layla’s affiliate links into the show notes, and of course our website will be there, which also can link you over to [00:55:00] her affiliate links as well.

That when you decided to get anything, homegirl can get credit for it. Since you did hear it from her first. I didn’t know about these websites until I was researching her. And so all the credit goes to Ms. Layla. And so now these sex toys, I think can be good, not just for couples or single people for people who are taking a pause, their own celibacy, for whatever reason, you know, maybe they, there’s no reason to go without anything at all.

Maybe if somebody has some sort of medical condition, that’s preventing them from having sex and meeting with other people. If somebody is staying in the house because of the Corona virus and they don’t fuck with them, people, you know, you can do zoom calls. Each person can have a sex toy, you know, there’s ways to to, to do, you know, the possibilities are 

Layla: really endless.

It’s really endless. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, just. Self-love is, is important too. I mean, I definitely, I’m a [00:56:00] big proponent of masturbation. I do it all the time. And I actually even had like a, I did last year. Oh. And if we’re coming up on March again, I did March masturbation madness month and, you know, play on March, March madness month.

I’m like, I’m going to make this sexy. I don’t care about basketball. I mean, I like basketball, but I was just like, I need to, I need to find a way to get something out of this too. So I did the March masturbation madness month where I masturbated everyday for 30 days or 31 days. Was it 31 days in March? I forget.

And anyway, it was, it’s interesting when you start again, like when you start putting effort towards yourself and your body and your, and your sexuality, even just giving that much time and attention to myself. I mean, I’m like, damn, I feel good. Didn’t have any bad days. 

De’Vannon: I know that’s right. March masturbation, Matt and his mom Hills.

Yeah. It’s these important for people to know that our partners are not [00:57:00] responsible for all of our sexual gratification. Like we still gotta do some shit on our own. Some of us have incredibly high sex drives and it’s not fair to put that pressure on them. So some people open their relationships up to have sex with other people.

Some people don’t do that. Some people would prefer toys or masturbation to, to supplements, to supplement compliment. Supplement is a better word. You know, the sexiness of it all, and it’s masturbation just like towards the, not anything against your partner is just another option. That’s all the different type of experience.

And so I want to, this is all like the good, good, good stuff. I want to talk about some of the. Not so fortunate experiences that you may have had because I want, I don’t want to paint too rosy of a picture. I wanted the people let people know that there may have been a hiccup or two. Now there’s an episode that you have called lady boner killer, where you talk about this guy’s treacherous toenails and everything like that, where you got catfish.

So I want you to [00:58:00] tell me about this, this hookup, our story. 

Layla: Oh, well, there have been quite a few along the way. If you can imagine you know, it’s, let’s just start with the cat fishing. So if you are going to be using online sites, obviously be as honest and upfront as you can, about what you look like and what you’re looking for.

Don’t, you know, don’t be a douche bag and. Like if you’re, if you’re married, you know, say you’re single and you’re just done, you know, like there’s plenty of women that don’t care. You can put the true merit on there. And some women don’t care or men don’t care, you know, it’s like, whatever, just represent yourself honestly, and accurately.

And not just in the facts that you’re conveying, but also your pictures because I know that this happens. I I’ve heard, it happens a lot with men, but it, it does happen with women too, where a man will have posted something. That’s just like [00:59:00] either flat out doesn’t look like him. That was him 50 pounds ago or 10 years ago, you know, it’s like you show up and it’s awkward because you’re putting the other person in a position to be like, have to say something to you.

I am going to say something, you know, I’m not, I’m gonna just let that slide and I’m going to be polite as I can about it, but it’s kind of like, it, it, it, to me, it’s annoying. Cause it’s it’s district. I consider it disrespectful of the other person’s time. And again, there’s nothing wrong with you or the way you are.

If you’re trust me, put your, put, be honest about yourself. And you’ll, you’ll be so much happier that the people that you are attracting are actually interested in you. So that’s one thing then the I just have this thing about men and grooming and funky, fucked up feet are. [01:00:00] I can’t handle it. I just cannot handle it.

I know I don’t expect men to be, you know, fancy and soft like women. But I, in fact I liked it. I like a rugged, I like a man’s man, but if your feet look like a gargoyles toes and you know, the, the toenails are dry, yellow, brittle crumbling off and long and hook like, like they could hook you. If they could pick you, if they could pick things up and carry them with their toes, with those finger toes, we got a problem.

I cannot handle that. And usually a man will show up when flip-flops sport in those toes. And I’m like, oh no, I’m retching in my mouth. Secretly just like, I can’t do it. No, that’s, that’s just a big turnoff to me. So if you have souls on your souls, no. No. Nobody wants that. What do you, how do you feel [01:01:00] about that?

I mean, do you want some guy showing you like to show us he doesn’t take any pride in his appearance? I dunno. That’s how I look at it. 

De’Vannon: Well, if you’re asking me and you did, for me, it depends on my motivation and my goal. If I’m trying to date and do something, long-term I eat it. I’m gonna look at it differently than.

Well shit, actually, no, I’m too much of a sled. I was going to say, yeah, it wasn’t saying, you know, as I’m trying to date him, long-term then I’m gonna work with him on those tells us an opportunity for me to help him improve. But if it’s going to be a hookup and he may not want me to help him improve, but at the end of the day, you know, where’s the deck.

I can just focus on that and leave that alone. Yeah. 

Layla: Okay. But, okay. But let me, let me go one layer deeper. There’s a lot of what subliminally, what that projects to me is like, if you don’t care about your appearance and, and that kind of stuff, and you’re not [01:02:00] aware, I mean, if you’ve got eyeballs in your head, you can look down and see that we can all see it, then how am I supposed to, how am I supposed to think that you’re a good lover?

Where’s your awareness? Where’s your observation? Are you going to be listening to me, tuned into my, my body, you know, How good are you going to really be? I mean, I can masturbate on Dick’s. I mean, I’ve done it plenty of times, you know what I mean? Just like, yeah. You’re like, well, okay. He’s okay, let’s go for it.

And, and, you know, you’re just going to, it’s going to be one and done, but I don’t know. I mean, like, I just, I, I honestly, I’d rather, you know, I’d rather, I want some good, I don’t just want mediocre sex. I mean, I want good sex and someone who’s not into their own grooming to me, it suggests that there are bad lover.

De’Vannon: And well, that’s what your radar is, pinging them. You [01:03:00] always listen to yourself. So, Hey, so yeah, I mean, I did that before. I didn’t a part of the reason I didn’t call a guy who wanted me to call him was because of his tells him that it was way back in the day though. And I don’t know, I kind of look back on that now.

I’m like, gosh, you know, I think that might have been shallow of me. I’m not calling you shallow, but you know, you had other things going on too, but you know, to each his own, you know, whatever your pet peeves are, I believe that therefore a reason. So for you, it fucked up toes and do it for you. They didn’t for me then.

And I’m saying all that. I may still not like them now. I just don’t come across bad toes that often, now that you mentioned it, you really kind of done. I just kind of like a VAT. That’s only happened once that a guys tells him in that bad that I kind of turned them down for him. Something that wasn’t being shallow.

So you might be on something. 

Layla: Can you turn him down now? That’s the thing I don’t I not saying [01:04:00] I come across it very often, but when I do, I’m like, whoa, it’s just saying something to me. 

De’Vannon: Those are speaking. She could fuck reading the tea leaves. You can read the toenails. 

Layla: Oh God. Don’t make me look at them.

That hurts, like burns the corneas of my eyes. I don’t even want to look.

Yeah. Be honest. Yeah. And just don’t show up. Like, don’t have misrepresented yourself. It’s it’s not going to work. You’re not going to, someone’s not going to, they’re going to be turned off. You know, they’re going to be turned off. 

De’Vannon: Okay, then with that, we could go ahead and begin to bring this thing down.

Like a nice car Dick that was been hard for the next hour. And now it’s time for us to make it come and bring it on down. So I will let you just go ahead and have the last word, any sort of advice you’d like to give to the, to the world, to the men, to the women, to those who done identify the wave or whatever it is you [01:05:00] want to say.

Layla: Well, I just, you know, anybody that’s listening, I just, you know, I really want. Just say, you know, my kinda my message. I think we it’s been sprinkled sprinkled in here throughout the whole conversation is just that, you know, I’m all about making your sex life a priority. Don’t let it slide. Don’t let it go.

You know, think about all the things in your life that you prioritize, you know, your, your hygiene, your health, you know, exercise, diet, all that stuff. You, your sexuality is a huge part of who you are and to try to deny it and live your life, pretending like it’s not important because society is telling you that, or church is telling you that, or your partner is telling you that, or whatever, you know, or you’re telling yourself that you need to, you know, you need to wake up.

Realize that’s not true. And, you know, put a little effort into it. Set, do a little challenge like I did in the beginning. Doesn’t have to be as long, but get yourself a little fun sex bucket list and go knock some things out, get re you know, re excited back in [01:06:00] touch with who you are as a sexual being.

And you’re going to be, I mean, I’m a lot happier because, because I’m out there with my sexuality and I ma it’s important to me, and I make sure that, you know, it’s one of the things that gets handled throughout the month, you know? So I just encourage everybody else to you know, to give it a shot, bump it up, bump it up the priority list and see where it takes you.

You’ll be surprised. 

De’Vannon: How has yeah. Layla London, thank you so much for your transparency today for being bold enough to talk about these things, for telling the truth and And for blessing the world with your podcasts and you know, and everything like that, because it’s, you know, it’s going to, I like w you know, writing blogs, books, podcasts, and shows and things like that, because, you know, that sort of work will outlive us and everything like that, it can be shared [01:07:00] and so forth.

And it’s just, it’s just really, really this is really, really a fucking incredible to to meet people who, who don’t mind is telling the truth and just being in their own skin, because it really, really, really. I hope that that’s a really, I really think a lot of problems boil down to just people not accepting themselves, what you project is.

Self-acceptance and just comfort. You’re just, you’re not too much. Not too little. You’re not arrogant. You’re not too humble. You’re just, this is me, right? 

Layla: This is what it is. You are who you are. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you for letting me come on and, you know, share my message and asking me these great questions.

And I just want to let everybody know if they want to reach out. They can go to my website. I love the best way to reach me. I love voicemail. And if you go to the curious go diaries.com, you can click on the pink [01:08:00] tab on the right-hand side and leave me just a voice memo. And I will get back to you personally.

So if you have anything you want me to know or share or questions, I’m I’m here to engage. 

De’Vannon: Right. And we will put that in the show notes and engage your way. Thank you so much, Iowa.

Thank you all so much for taking time to listen to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast. It really means everything to me. Look, if you love the show, you can find more information and resources at sex, drugs, and jesus.com or wherever you listen to your podcast. Feel free to reach out to me directly at DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com and on Twitter and Facebook as well.

My name is De’Vannon and it’s been wonderful being your host today and just remember that everything is going to be all right.

 

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