Episode #56: Surviving Child Molestation, Positive Sex Talk, How Bottoms Prep For Sex & Kick Ass Grandparents With Dr. Vernon T. Scott, Podcast Host & Author

INTRODUCTION:

 

Dr. Vernon T. Scott is from the state of Georgia. He is currently pursuing a Sex Coaching certification from Sex Coaching University and earning a second masters in Marriage and Family Therapy with a Systemic Sex Therapy specialization.

Vernon has years of experience in life coaching and sexual health research and education. He is also an advocate for trans rights and fighting against rape culture and its systemic impact within society. Vernon plans to use his platform to provide healthy conversations related to the nuances of sexual expression and amplify the voices of those often forgotten by society.

He is the host of the Heauxliloquy Podcast and the owner of Slaytor’s Playhouse, LLC. The podcast focuses on bringing people outside the compressed box of sexual expression. Vernon and his guests have conversations that range from kinks to personal sexual experiences to mental health. As for Slaytor’s Playhouse, it is a publishing company that currently provides journals, artwork, and books.

Social Media, Website, and Merch

Vernon’s IG and Twitter: @UrFavHeauxst

Podcast Twitter: @Heauxliloquy

Book link: https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Guide-How-Hoe/dp/173663190X

https://www.heauxliloquy.com

https://slaytorsplayhouse.com

 

 

INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to):

 

·      Sex Positive Conversation

·      STD/STI Talk

·      How Do Bottom’s Prep For Sex?

·      Bottom Shaming – No Ma’am!  

·      Anal Pap Smears/Cancer

·      Surviving Child Molestation

·      Surviving The Death Of A Mother

·      Sex Offenders Are Women Too!

·      Connecting With Our Loved Ones After The Die

·      How Grandparents Are Cooler Than Our Parents

·      YAY! MASTURBATION!!!

 

 

CONNECT WITH VERNON:

 

Website 1: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.com

Website 2: https://slaytorsplayhouse.com

Book: https://amzn.to/3n86RIR

YouTube: https://bit.ly/3nicLXD

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/urfavheauxst/

Twitter (Vernon): https://twitter.com/UrFavHeauxst

Twitter (Podcast): https://twitter.com/Heauxliloquy

TikTok: https://bit.ly/3xOIjcP

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vernontscott/

 

 

CONNECT WITH DE’VANNON:

 

Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.com

YouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCM

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopix

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannon

Email: DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com

 

 

DE’VANNON’S RECOMMENDATIONS:

 

·      Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)

https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370

TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs

 

·      Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)

https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/

 

·      Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levin

https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com

 

·      Upwork: https://www.upwork.com

·      FreeUp: https://freeup.net

 

VETERAN’S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS

 

·      Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org

·      American Legion: https://www.legion.org

 

 

INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?:

 

·      PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.

https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

Vernon Scott X 1

[00:00:00]

You’re listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De’Vannon and I’ll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what’s really going on in your life.

There is nothing off the table and we’ve got a lot to talk about. So let’s dive right into this episode.

De’Vannon: Hello, y’all and welcome to the sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Again, I speak positivity and new life over each and every last one of you today, I’m speaking with Dr. Vernon T Scott, he is the host of the ho liqui podcast he wrote this kick ass book called the essential guide on how to be a ho So in today’s show there’s gonna be a lot of sex, positive conversation. I’m gonna tell you all the STDs [00:01:00] I’ve ever had. I’m gonna tell you about my yearly anal rejuvenation retreat that I go on. And, we were rebuke bottom shaming and we help bottoms understand how to prepare for sex. We talk about the need for Anno pap smears, surviving, child molestation, and the death of a mother. I want you to put your ear real close to the speaker on this one. Hello, are you beautiful bitches out there and welcome to the fucking sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Hallelujah, tabernacle and motherfucking praise today. Happy pride month, you know, I’ll go ahead and say it, but I feel like it’s pride all year long. You know? So today I got with me y’all his real name is Dr.

Vernon Scott. He don’t like to go around talking about the doctor. He doesn’t wanna be called burning, but I gotta give him his flowers. Y’all he went to school [00:02:00] for that shit. He has his doctorates and Hey, you bubbly bitch. How you doing today? 

Vernon: I am fabulous. Look, my, my thing is you can call me, just know that the doctor is there.

That’s all it’s implied. just knows.

De’Vannon: Well, let me see, how does these look?

I got all this going on and so,

oh God, nothing like a good tit flash on a, on a Friday morning baby. And so 

Vernon: it’s a beautiful day. Mm-hmm 

De’Vannon: it’s a beautiful morning. So y’all Vernon. He hosts a podcast called the ho [00:03:00] liqui podcast. That’s spelled H E a U X, L I L O Q U Y. So he’s spelled it like we do down here. In the south bay, he threw a little occasion on there.

So he , that’s how they do the Hoye podcast. So right off the bat, let me tell you, his website is hoy.com. He also has a website called Slaters playhouse.com and I’m gonna let him tell y’all what the difference is in just a minute. So Vernon is super sex positive. So when you talk about a whole lot of sexual education, maybe it’s a little bit of mental health and some other things today.

He also wrote a book it’s called the essential God on how to be a ho, not once upon a time, not long ago, but right now, bitch, how to be a ho today. And so tell us about your podcast and the difference in between the two website. 

Vernon: All right. So the Hilo podcast is all [00:04:00] about bringing people outside of their compressed box of what they know about sexuality.

It’s about the kinky stuff. It’s about the fetishes. It’s about even addressing those tough topics like rape culture. It’s all about learning more about yourself learning who you are, identifying your wants needs even how to navigate online dating versus traditional dating and just shining a light that we all have different perspectives that we all have different things that we like in our lives.

Some other things that we even talk about because we, we gotta talk about sex. We have to talk about our sexual experiences. We have to talk about consent. We have to talk about our HIV statuses, if that’s something that is coming up or something of concern, our just sexual health in general.

Myself and another guess we were talking about our status of having HSV one, which is the Herper [00:05:00] herpes SIMPL fires, and just how to maneuver those conversations with people in terms of like the Ledger’s Playhouse website that is, I would say my little growing business it is for publishing journals as well as books.

But there’s also other things in in terms of publishing on there, like there’s artwork that people can purchase off of. There there’s even in a vice column that we have on that website too. So it’s still growing, it’s still in development. It’s also a avenue for people who may need life coaching.

The goals with that is to, you know, expand the business a lot more, but I’m not trying to rush it. I’m just letting that develop the way it needs to develop. 

De’Vannon: Okay. You know, what Rome was it built in the day? And the Lord said that this spa is not the day of small beginnings, honey. Cause everything will, is time.

Vernon: [00:06:00] You better say that word.

De’Vannon: I don’t mind preaching. Hallelujah. I’m gonna use this mouth something more than sucking Dick.

Vernon: Oh, that needs to be a Bible verse. That

De’Vannon: second

So in of all the things that you could have started a podcast about. And I, and I, and I hear the necessity in your voice. Why, why focus so much on sexual relations? Why, why do you feel like there’s a need to talk about these things and then what qualifies you to be the one to tell us about it? 

Vernon: Hmm. So I, I think I’ll start with the qualifications things, cuz that also goes into the need.

So [00:07:00] I was sexually assaulted as a child and over the years I’ve been trying to wrap my head around. Okay. What actually happened there? What is this thing? And then being exposed sex at a young age, through like porn I didn’t understand what was going on. Like what are these two people doing?

So I always had that fixation on learning more about sex. So from the age of, let’s say when the internet started, you know, dial up times looking into this thing when I had my first sex ed class learning more about sexuality these diseases and stuff like that, I still had. Unanswered questions.

So I started to dive deeper into that figure out, okay. How does this STI impact your life? Along. You know your lifetime. How is a person who is a [00:08:00] bottom? How are they supposed to get themselves ready for sex? I, I, that’s not something that’s communicated. What about the person that’s topping?

What is the difference between the bottom and the top? I had to watch multiple porns to understand that difference, too. And then when it came to like lesbian relationships. Okay. Is this supposed to be something that there’s a top bottom situation? How’s that going? When it comes to heterosexual relationships, all right.

We have all these people at my high school who are pregnant, so that that’s a clue that they’re having sex, but are they what’s? Is this something with condom usage? Are they, do they know about condoms? What is going on? So over the years I just started to focus more on, more on researching sexuality and.

To the point that I decided to focus on like things that like sex [00:09:00] education, how that’s not provided in an equitable way, or we don’t have too many comprehensive sex ed programs throughout the country. I even started to look more into rape culture too, which is what I got wrote about for my dissertation.

Let’s call it systemic rape culture, put it that way. And. I got to a point where I really wanted to start to develop like a course to start teaching people more about sexuality, more about learning, how to get that comprehensive education or design that myself. And I thought that the easiest way to do that, to provide the information to people is to.

Pro give it to them in a platform or in a space that’s easier for them to to digest it because there’s not a lot of people who like to read. There’s not a lot of people who even want to watch videos. And I thought, well, why not have a podcast that just talks [00:10:00] about sex in a healthy way that allows different perspectives, differences in opinions.

That’s not just telling people that, oh, a man has to do this. A woman has to do this. All gay people have to do this. All bottoms have to do this. All tops have to do this all lesbians, perform their sexual acts this way. So to break down the, the labels in a way to expand our horizon, because one of the things that I call myself is a sexual experience coach, as well as a, a sexual expression coach, which is.

Helping people understand how they express their own sexuality. And that can be through Kings that can just be through vanilla sexual acts. But just sitting with them to help them figure out, okay, how can I enhance my sexual experience with myself as well as with others? So I, I say that’s the thing that both inspired me to go into podcasting [00:11:00] as well as speak of my qualifications to talk about sexuality too.

And not to mention, I I’ve been doing stuff in relationships since like 2011, like interpersonal relationships since 2011. 

De’Vannon: Okay. Okay. So I, I took several questions out of what you were saying and what you’re now you’re saying you started what exactly in 2011. 

Vernon: Oh learning more about interpersonal relationships.

Oh, that’s when, 

De’Vannon: okay. That’s when.

And thank you for such a beautiful breakdown. So I’m about to break down your breakdown. so, yeah. So you, so I heard you say that you were sexually harassed as a child sexually molested. And that’s something that I read, you know, right at the beginning of your book, when I was reading through it to, and in the book you specified that it was some cousins who did this.

So how old were you? How many cousins was [00:12:00] it? Were they male? Were they female? 

Vernon: So my first sexual experience, I was around two years old and that was an older male cousin. It was more of a oral thing. Not necessarily anything like penetrative in terms of like anal, anything like that. That is, I think, I don’t know exactly which cousin it was.

But I do know that it was a cousin and then later on there was another cousin who assaulted molested me for some time around three years or so. And that was from like age eight ish to like 11. I know it was up until around the time my mother passed. But it, it [00:13:00] was. Ongoing thing.

But I will say I did not experience any sexual assaults from family after my mother passed. So after that essentially those things ended too, which I will say was a, a, a good benefit in terms of my personal growth and my healing process, too. 

De’Vannon: Okay. Thank you for, for sharing that. I’m gonna get more granular with this.

Do these males who molested you, did they identify as gay, straight or by 

Vernon: do you know? Uh, Straight. 

De’Vannon: So what I remember, I was, when I lived in Houston, I volunteered for the dein children’s center. Which is like a, is huge facility that houses children that don’t really have anywhere else to go essentially.

[00:14:00] And a part of the training was they showed us the registered sex offenders, you know, in the Houston area and the area we would be volunteering in. And, okay, so, so I’m in this training room and there’s a projector, you know, with all these faces on the wall, it was almost like being in an FBI briefing or something like that.

Okay. So about 50% of them were women and then the other, I still, I still have to hold my heart to this day. I, I never thought that that many women mm-hmm or sex offenders and and then the other half were men who didn’t, who identified as straight there weren’t in gay people. And so in that instant, I realized just how wrong say, like.

Politicians are in the church are by trying to say, oh, the gay people are the pedophiles. And I’m like, not to say that it doesn’t happen, but to act like women [00:15:00] don’t molest girls and boys is silly. So like in churches, say like in my case, they kicked me outta Lakewood. Cause they didn’t want me not being straight being around their children.

But my whole point is why do you think you can trust the straight guy, supposedly straight guy and the supposedly straight woman more than the homosexual, the bisexual. I mean, at least we have a positive sexual outlet, you know, if he’s straight and closeted, you know, he’s more likely to take it out on a vulnerable child than a grown ass man who has a grown ass Dick to deal with

So, and so I just wanted to. To point that out. Cause I had a feeling that they probably were not L G B I a, usually it’s the straight uncle, you know, in a lot of families. And I’ve heard this before. It’s the straight uncle that gets ahold of the little boy when no one’s around because no one suspects, the straight uncle they’re too busy worrying about the gay uncle.

Well, the gay uncle has [00:16:00] dinners to get to, he got shopping. The dude, like I said, he has a grown ass Dick to tend to, he’s got to take several trips each month and he’s got all this shit to do, honey, not to mention keeping his nails. No, no, we don’t have time to be molest children. This does not interest us.

Not at all. 

Vernon: so not at 

De’Vannon: all. So you need to stop worrying, not at all what the gays are doing and be watching the, watching the straight people in your family.

Vernon: I agree, 100%. And that’s the, the and I think one of the things that I learned within my healing process, because like the two year old thing, I, I really don’t know who that was. So I don’t know exactly how old that person was. But at least with the other cousins, we were all still children. So it was children molesting children.

And in my education and me unpacking my [00:17:00] traumas and healing and whatnot, I came to the understanding that a lot of children who do molest other children were molested themselves. Yeah. So it’s not necessary. And that, that realization was something that helped me release that pint up trauma or that pined up those pint up feelings that I had about that experience to know that, okay, they acted out of their own trauma that.

They themselves have to deal with even to this day, cuz even when I think about the the, the main cousin who was who molested me, how he still doesn’t have his mind together, he is still angry. He’s still fighting in just so much rages within him. And I’m just like, I, I, all I can do is fill for you and pray that you do get the help that you you need.

Do I feel safe around him? Not necessarily, but I also recognize that he has grown [00:18:00] over the years too. But it’s, it’s still a battle that some of those cousins are still having to deal with because someone else brought them out of their own innocence. 

De’Vannon: How big of you look at how mature you sound?

I love that

cause it doesn’t do you any good to hold onto the anger? You know, you know, molestation happens to a lot of people and you know, but I’m happy to hear that somebody can have that happen and then they can heal and move on from it. And so, and so, so your mom died and I’m sorry to hear about that. When you were around 10 ish.

Vernon: I was, I always, it was 2007. I, I know the year, the age always for leaves me. I was either 13 or 14 somewhere within that range before high school. That’s that’s all I know it was before high school. [00:19:00]

De’Vannon: What was it like being, you know, in your teen years without a mother. 

Vernon: It was, it was hard. It was having that realization that even if I do go off to college, she’s not gonna be here.

That was one of the goals that she wanted to see for myself. And my brother is that would go off to college. It was also realizing that I have to be responsible cuz she was the only one that I really felt safe around and the only person that actually showed that they cared for me and loved me within my household.

So it was like, I was, I was losing a backbone in this moment. And I would say this is something that I even learned from therapy is that my coping mechanism, my trauma response and my what is it? Trigger are all the same thing and is rooted from her death. [00:20:00] And that is my need of being responsible.

Because when she passed, I had to be responsible for myself. I had to learn how to cook. I had to take care of myself because no one else in that household was really taken care of me. And that’s just the facts of it. 

De’Vannon: Did you still have a dad or what? 

Vernon: Yeah, my stepdad, he lived there. 

De’Vannon: So you think it’s like, say he was there?

That was it. He wasn’t doing shit. 

Vernon: It’s essentially not, not for me. At least love him down. And I like still love the man, but it in, in where, when I needed him, he wasn’t there. 

De’Vannon: Did you have older brothers, younger brothers, sisters, siblings. 

Vernon: I have an older brother who lived with us and my stepdad.

He also had daughters not with my mother, but he had his daughters, but they didn’t, they lived with their mothers. So, 

De’Vannon: Ooh. Y’all had a situation. 

Vernon: Yeah. Look, that’s only one side of the family. Let me [00:21:00] not go into my father’s side. but what advice? I love each other. 

De’Vannon: I, I, I appreciate the love y’all have for each other.

You got all I feel is love reverberating outta you. And so many people go through similar things and they become so bitter, but you’ve turned that, that like an Alchemist, you know, you turn that negativity into a new material, into something positive, like turning steel into water. So what advice would you give to somebody who has lost their mother and especially somebody who’s still in their teens?

Vernon: First thing, feel what you need to feel accept that your, your mother’s no longer gonna be with you. It’s a hard truth, but you do have to accept that at one point. And once you do accept that things do get do get a little bit easier. Sometimes you do have to sit down and write a letter to your mother just to update her on what’s going on.

Sometimes you, if you are of that faith of [00:22:00] either having a burial ground or even ashes, whatever it is that you have to still have your mother with you, talk to her whenever you can. Just acknowledge the fact that even if you feel as though that you’re talking to a, a void that it’s going to be received because sometimes just having that feeling of knowing that it’s gonna be received is enough to keep you going for another day.

De’Vannon: How beautiful mm-hmm . And so I wanna, I wanna, I wanna echo that in my own unique way. I believe that when people die, that they do not cease to exist. Mm-hmm so, as Alana is more said, said in in her song, thank you. How about not equating death with stopping? You know, death is more like of a transition, you know, it’s our ultimate [00:23:00] form of freedom once we’ve, once we come to that point, I’m not saying go out and kill yourself to get free.

I’m talking about living your life, and then when you die, you know, you transition and you turn into a spirit. So you, you take on your truest form as, as far as I’m concerned. Many of us have experiences of our dead relatives coming back to speak to us and visions and dreams and stuff like that. Mm-hmm sometimes we might smell that fragrance they used to wear.

Maybe we’d smell some of that good old cooking grandma used to do or who or mama used to do in the kitchen. You know, when you’re just alone somewhere the way they present it, say in star wars, I love the way that the Lord speaks to us through movies and shows and stuff like that. It’s not just creativity.

I think it’s actually divine messages in a lot of shows and movies that we see. Mm-hmm especially movies like star wars and stuff like that that have strong religious overtones and stuff like that. [00:24:00] But you see when the Jedi died, They come back as those fuzzy little spirits that, that are hanging out in Kiki.

So we see , you know, so they’re just kind of like floating off to the side and they’re very aware of everything that are going that is going on. So I don’t, I feel like that when the elders die, when, when someone in the family dies that I have a, my connection with them grows in a way, because now they’re everywhere that I go, they have more access to me now in spirit form.

So like, so my grandmother’s physically dead. My evangelist Nelson, my pastor is physically dead. When I wanna reach them now I’ll just close my eyes and I’ll focus on their spirit, their presence, their being. And I don’t like to bother them too much. They already done they already done, done. They work in this life.

So I don’t do this a whole lot, but sometimes when I just get overwhelmed, you know, I’ll just be like, look, you know, grandma evangelist. I, I don’t mean to bother you, [00:25:00] but I need your help right now. Please come see about me. You know, , 

Vernon: that’s, that’s how when it comes to my grandmother, cause that, that was my role dog.

That was my best friend as a child. SIS had my back. I had her back, like that was my mama. like the everyone knew I was the adopted child of LMA Scott. That was my mama. So I don’t know who y’all think y’all are. That’s my mama, everybody else. But like sometimes when I know I’m just in a, a negative space, I just think about my time with her, even our last moments together.

And it just makes me feel a little bit better. I even my first alcoholic beverage, you know, I had that with my grandma. I was, I was young. I, I took her. I drank some hookup got in trouble, of course. But it was with, it was, it was with my, it was with my role dog. So like, so it was like those things even every now and [00:26:00] again, if I am going to drink something like liquor or wine, it’s like shout out to you, grandma, because that is a way to connect with with her.

So yeah, I definitely get that. 

De’Vannon: It’s so fucking curious to me how the grandmothers are like, or like Wilder than our parents, either that either that are more willing to be transparent about it. Cause my grandmother. When I was like five, I would put on like an oversized shirt, which all I wore. Anyway, I’d put on one of my, one of my mom’s belts to make a dress out of the oversized shirt and put on my mom’s pumps, you know, with this much space in between the heel and the back of her shoe and run around the house and put on a show and my grandmother would staying at the door and keep lookout so that when my parents truck come down the street, I can get outta drag.

And so , you know, and that was granny. And, you know, and then we’d be drinking the Manish Chevy’s wine, the, the Blackberry wine and all of that shit. You know, grandma used to [00:27:00] turn up low pee. and then meanwhile, you know, my mom trying to act like she, you know, cute and got together, I’m all like, how is granny Wilder and more open-minded than my parents.

And my grandma was born in like the 1920s and thirties, I guess either you cool or you not fuck. I don’t know. 

Vernon: I’d say it’s because our grandparents, they were exposed to the truth of, of life before things became, so identity focused are, so you have to be this, you have to be strict. You have to be this type of professional because back then, most definitely like in the twenties, that’s all you saw.

You saw people happy to be LGBTQ. You saw people who are out here for the party, drinking, enjoy themselves, going to speak. Easys all these things, enjoying their lives. And then, you know, after a while and you know, wars and shit, everything got a little bit more strict. And then that’s where you get to the culture that we see today, where Uhuh, you cannot be gay.

You cannot be this. You cannot be that you have to be anything. Other than [00:28:00] you cannot be anything other than what we present as the straight white men in here in the us. So that’s what I, I will say that is probably the reason why a lot of grandmothers was just like, it is what it is. Look, I went to drag shows back in the day, myself, what you mean?

He can’t do this. like,

I know I raised you. I know you was a whole, you telling this child not to be wherever they wanna be. Okay. Okay. Okay.

De’Vannon: Go off. so granny kept it fucking real. Yes. God bless you, grandmother. Wherever you are at. I heard you say that you consider yourself a sexual experience. Coach. I want you to give me an example of somebody that you’ve worked with. Before. So tell me what their problem was, [00:29:00]what you did to help them change and then how they are today.

Vernon: So let’s say if alright, there was this one person who was very uncomfortable with masturbation, right? So just having a conversation of where does that come from? Why, why do you feel very uncomfortable? To masturbate and a lot of that came from their own religious beliefs and one of the things I work with them on is shifting how they view it.

Right. And if you feel as though that, you know, masturbating is a sin, where does it say that? And where is that? Who told you that masturbation is a sin and are you not supposed to love yourself? And when I asked them about loving themselves, they were just like I’m I think I’m supposed to love, love myself.

Okay. So why not please? Yourself can pleasure not be synonymous to loving [00:30:00] yourself. And that helped them realize, okay, you know what? I might be focusing too heavily. on outside, outside influences rather than what I actually want for myself. So advising them, Hey, okay. When you try this, don’t try anything too severe first.

Get to know your body. Also think about things that make you feel comfortable is that the music that you’re listening to, is that any sense that you’re listening to? Anything that kind of turns you on makes you feel happy to be in that moment? You know, a lot of people do love music, right? So build a playlist, figure out what songs bring you to one point and what songs bring you down and see if you can match your pleasure to that music that you’re listening to.[00:31:00]

So that when you do reach that peak, you have some music that will slowly bring you back down and I will have to say they’re masturbating. They’re doing good. so it’s, it’s just having those kind of conversations with people to see what they can do to enhance their experience either with themselves or with their with their partners.

De’Vannon: Child masturbation is good for the soul. I a drawer, a drawer full of come rags right by my bed because I, I, I Jack off so damn much. It’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. And, but it’s a great way to keep, to connect with yourself and it can be used spiritually and everything like that too. Mm-hmm I believe his name was David Chambers from.

The authentic man podcast talks a lot about masturbation and stuff like that, too. So, [00:32:00] and people have messaged me before with that same shit, like, oh my God, I think watching porn is wrong or, you know, masturbation is wrong. And my question, it was the same thing who fuck told you that, you know, my HYP therapist was telling me the same thing too, in a session we were doing the other night, you know, she just let me know, you know, that every negative thing that I think about myself is something, someone else told me mm-hmm period.

You know, we don’t come into the world with predispositions that we’re too fat. We’re too skinny. We’re too hairy. We’re too black. We’re too pasty. We’re too white. We’re too. We’re too. Anything, you know, another motherfucker told you that mm-hmm and in terms of the religious thing about masturbating. The church uses the fact that if you’re just jacking off at squirting com everywhere that you’re not procreating, you know, they might use that argument.

And they’ll also use that scripture about when the children of Israel were told to procreate [00:33:00]and the guy didn’t wanna have kids with a particular woman, you know, God killed him for it. But the thing is this. If the Lord only wanted show Dick to get hard for the sake of having a child and he would only let it get hard when it came time to have a child, you know, he designed our bodies.

I mean, what the fuck do you need morning wood for if there’s no one else in the house, if, but not to Jack off. So, so, and then by the appropriation argument is just stupid because by that logic, as soon as a woman gets pregnant, then there’s time for them to stop fucking. You know, and I know good and damn well that they still fucking mm-hmm so they don’t come out the house and tell everybody else to only have sex for the purposes of procreation.

So what, after they have the first five or 10 kids, y’all not going fuck for the next 30, 40 years you together, stop, stop the lies. We know better. Mm-hmm, , it’s easy to just be [00:34:00] sexual beings and just do sexual things. See how simple that was. 

Vernon: right. And it, and it amazes me cause you know, there’s those peoples just like, oh, it’s unnatural to do this unnatural, to do that when it comes to sex.

And then when you bring up like animals and they’re just like, we’re better than animals. We’re not animals. And like we’re a part of the animal kingdom. Like it it’s, it’s this thing called taxonomy that that’s we’re, we’re we’re homo sapiens. That means we are a part of the animal kingdom. We, we. Act similar to other animals, other other animals masturbate, other animals have homosexual encounters.

Other animals have bisexual encounters, other animals, procreate, like all of these things are all natural. So to say that anything is unnatural when it comes to sexual, expression’s just like, you don’t know what you’re talking about and that’s okay. Just recognize that you don’t 

De’Vannon: society failed us. Yes, it is.

[00:35:00] Absolutely. Okay. And you and I are gonna keep telling the world that it’s okay. And combating that voices in people’s heads telling them that it’s not okay until they get that. It is okay. And no one can hurt you. If you wanna sit in your house and masturbate, and God is not going to send you the hell for it because.

Because because God is open minded and loving and flexible and more loving than people in this, in, in the church are. Mm. But um, but society failed us as a whole, when it comes to sex education. I heard you when you were saying and y’all, these are the sort of topics that Vernon discusses on his podcast.

So in this, during this conversation, we’re kind of giving you a little appetizer, you know, what you’ll find over on his show. And so I heard you saying that society failed us. I mean, shit, you know, in terms of the sex education and stuff like that, and what it made me think of, cuz you were saying like you weren’t taught like, you know how to, Hey, you know how a bottom is [00:36:00] supposed to prepare for sex.

And so I, and I just extend that to everything. So. Like in the eighth of grade, I think we had like a sex education class, a couple of videos it’s insufficient. See sex education is something that you can’t just sit down and tell your kids, this is a condom. This is a Dick. This is a pussy, good luck with that.

It has to be something that’s like ongoing. You know, we are gonna have this initial conversation when you’re about five years old about sex, because sex is everywhere. And then you’re gonna come back and revisit that in a, in a little matter of time. And you’re gonna leave that door open so that that kid can come back to you when the dicks start to get hard and the pussy start bleeding and everything like that.

And you so that they can come back and ask more questions and ask more questions, then you’re gonna initiate more. All throughout that child’s life. And even once they’re past 18, if they need to come and ask you something, they, they need to know that that door is [00:37:00] always open because if you don’t teach them, then just like you, porn will.

Then I learned about sex from porn, real sex, red shoe diaries, Showtime Skinemax then gay.com, then grinder, then Scruff, you know, and then, you know, or as Madonna said, you know, you get your education from your lovers and so, and they had, they got their own agenda, you know, when they’re hanging out with us and stuff like that.

And it’s not really to make us smarter. It’s the bust of fucking nut mm-hmm . And so and so, no, I didn’t know about sexual health. I bought him a lot, so I didn’t know how to clean my asshole out. You know, I didn’t know what an animal was or anything like that. And so, so all, so I don’t know. What do you have to say about douching?

Let’s talk about, let’s talk about cleaning out assholes and bottoms, preparing for sex tops. You know, you, all you need is [00:38:00] spit in your hard Dick and you good to go. So 

Vernon: don’t spit loop. Okay.

First lubrication always use Lu, always use Lu. Oh my God. You use Lu. I almost like 

De’Vannon: it. Rough

Vernon: but I, I, I will say in terms, cause you know, ive, I’ve seen the videos about you know, if you get the douche and you put your own waters and stuff like that, it can, you know, add fragrance and whatnot to your to your asshole and whatnot. I’m just of the mindset. Just get a fucking, ENMA put that shit up there.

Do what you need to do quick flush and it’s all good. Make sure you bathe and whatnot. Oh, this is another tip. Like in terms of sexual experience, if you have a partner who likes fragrances and whatnot is utilizing those fragrances on your body, as well as any kind of flavored [00:39:00] lubes too, so that, you know, they can enjoy the taste while they’re down there too.

You know, even though they already, they, they already like what it tastes like, add some extra flavor shock ’em motherfucker. But you know, like for, for me, I, I would just prefer like a little quick and it doesn’t like the process for that like what is it? Fleet? Yeah, a fleet 30 minutes or so you don’t have to worry about adding too much water it literally just.

Flushes you out and that’s all you need. When you do use like a douche and you do add like fragrances and essential oils, all of that. To the mix. You have to understand exactly what those oils do to your body. Are they even meant to be on internal for internal use? [00:40:00] And if you out here putting the wrong essential oils in your asshole, you gonna be burned.

It like

it’s not supposed to be there for a reason. like, if anything, okay. If I’m going to try my best to do something like that, let me just chop up some apples. Put some, a little bit of orange juice up in there and then see what happens. It’s no, don’t do, please not put orange juice. That’s citrus. Let’s go to burn.

Do not do that. Please not put citrus in your asshole. oh God. But cause the 

De’Vannon: anal, well y’all the anal canal is a very, what we might call a. It’s a thin, like what we might, we may call a OUS sort of tissue it tears easy. It’s very thin. It’s not tough. Like the inside of your asshole is not tough. Like say like the skin on your arm, on your thigh, on your chest.

Mm-hmm . And so [00:41:00] you have to be very, very careful. That’s why people shove drugs up their ass because it’ll get through to their Dr. Bloodstream quick, because it’s kind of, kind of similar to under your tongue. You know, it’s very wet all the time. It’s very, it’s just very soft and pliable. So you wanna respect the whole, you know, cause you want it to be around, you know, a lot longer for years for you to enjoy and everything like that.

I don’t use fragrances pretty much every man I’ve ever been with they who really, who really loves them a nice ass. You know, they really like the natural odors of it and stuff like that because your body emits what’s called like pheromones through your sweat glands and stuff like that, which don’t carry an odor with them.

But it turns on people, it turns on, you know, men are drawn to those pheromones, like, you know, like, you know, like a dog chasing a tree, you know? [00:42:00] So I don’t add fragrances, you know, I just keep it all on natural R right,

Vernon: right. I’m with you there. Like you know, why you here? So

like, it, it is like, oh, when I, when I used to see those tips and tricks and whatnot, I’m why y’all are doing way too much. This is. This is way, way too much. And I’m like, even in my learning process of what to, and what, like, you know, the dos and don’t, I’m just like, so you want me to do all of these things.

And you’re not even talking about the temperature of water when it comes to like a douche cuz you cannot have have it too high because that does two things burn the inside of your asshole, even if it’s like on the warmer side of things which can also make you start to sweat because it, like you said, it is a very sensitive area.[00:43:00]

So now you have a burning asshole. It’s it’s on fire, you filled with water and now you have to get that outta your body. And now you have to relax some and let your body naturally cool down before you can do anything. So it’s like you, you have to really think about how you douche and what you put into your body.

De’Vannon: And we’re not trying to make this sound like a chore. It’s fun to learn about yourself in this way. Mm-hmm , you know, you know, make it a fun thing, you know, go online, look at different douche bottles, animal bottles, stuff like that. If you have a partner, it can be like a whole fun, fun thing you can shop for the shit together can get different colors.

You can’t, you can totally get the flavors that what you want. And Hey, if you try some shit or you try it one way and it don’t work. That’s cool, boo. Try it again. Mm-hmm 

Vernon: mm-hmm shop around, customize it. 

De’Vannon: you know, [00:44:00] and look sometimes me and my partner, sometimes I don’t do, sometimes we just go all our natural and if we find something down there, we do some usually we don’t.

But if we do, it’s not a big deal. Some men. I’ve had some men who did not want me to clean out all the way. Some men get into a little bit of shit. Now they like a little scat, you know, some freak out over and look don’t ever let anybody bottom shame you. If you get shit on a Dick, it just happens. Shit’s supposed to be down there.

Right. You know, we don’t do the bottom shaming, you know? Well, since I mention it, let’s talk about the bottom SHA look 

Vernon: again, you know, why the fuck you came here? Like, you know that you’re dealing with an asshole. How are you shocked if there’s shit like , doesn’t like, even, even if you are cleaning out and whatnot and you flushed out your system, look, things happen.

Shit happens. Okay. It, it is like, why are you upset? Why are you upset? I [00:45:00] literally have some, some dude who was like he, I, I was like, oh, I just, he wasn’t to hook up. And I wasn’t really doing anything that day. I had a, a very open day wasn’t looking for sex, but, you know, I was like, okay, you know, you cute.

I, I I’m okay with adding you to my body count. So I was like, okay, I, I just need to get ready. And he literally asked the question, what do you mean by get ready? Well, one, I need to shower. I also need to clean out, you know, get the shit out. And he was like, well, I just used the word clean out. He’s like, okay, what do you mean clean out?

I have to do that means shit and all this other stuff. And when I said that he was like, Ew, you wouldn’t have to tell me that. I was like, but you just asked, like, I, I used colorful language to avoid saying that. And now you’re asking, and now you turned off because you’re coming over here to fuck me.

And you’re shocked that I will have to take a shit in order for you to fuck me. Like. [00:46:00] What the math is hardly ever matting with people these days. like I, people crazy. 

De’Vannon: So we wanna deal with people who have a realistic expectation. So it is, it doesn’t make you more of a man or anything like that to be out of touch with what the people you want to have.

Sexual relations are going through. Mm-hmm so like a man who’s gonna get freaked out over a bloody vagina, or just take a very hands off approach to understanding the period process and the menstrual process. I don’t, I don’t think you’re more of a man. You’re just an uneducated mm-hmm dude. you just don’t know what the fuck’s going on.

Right. And I mean, if anything, it might make you fuck better. If you understand the holes better that you like to plow around in, you know, You know, just get some head knowledge on it and you [00:47:00] got those, those guys out there and they got a lot of mating to do when they trip out about either a bloody vagina or a, or a dirty, shitty asshole.

Now, look, I, everyone knows I’m not a gold star gay I’ve had sex with women. I’ve I’ve, I’ve taken Dick from probably 10,000 different men in his life. Like, no, Joe, I probably only top 10. Because I don’t, you know, I just prefer, you know, to be pumped full of calm on most nights and so , and so, but I, but for the few women I’ve slept with, I’ve had blood on my Dick before and for the few guys I’ve topped, I’ve gotten shit on my Dick before and we just kept on fucking I’m like, I’m here now.

It is what it is. 

Vernon: this nut is trying to get busted. So like, that’s the craziest thing to me. Like why, why are you so uncomfortable? Like me, I, I do identify as bisexual. And I playing and pussy is fun. Like it’s, it’s it’s if you’re [00:48:00] going to be there, enjoy it. Like like, how are you someone who prefers to be with some of a Volvo owner owning person and not be comfortable with knowing how it operates.

Like if you’re not tracking your partners cycle, Then you’re not doing your job properly. You’re not trying to engage with them on all the levels that they, you know, want to be engaged in not saying that you have to, but at least be willing to understand that science and how that works with your partner.

Even when it comes to homosexual or gay relationships, anything dealing with anal, knowing how that process worked, how they tend to clean themselves. I, what they diet looks like whenever they are probably going to be bottoming for you. Like, even with my past relationship, I made it an effort to have my partner douche so that he understands, this is what I go through.

If I, if we’re going to like, fuck , it’s not like, oh, [00:49:00] I’m horny, let’s have sex. No, I’m going, it’s going to take some time. It’s going take development. And if you’re not willing to wait in that anticipation for that to happen, then you might as well not be here. I 

De’Vannon: know that’s right now. You said something interesting to me.

In terms of tracking your partner’s period. I never dated a girl for long enough to get well, shit who I was. Yeah, fuck. I never dated a girl long enough to to get that close with her. So in, so in a male, female relationship, that’s brilliant, you know, to be that close to your girl, to know when she’s gonna be ovulating and everything like that.

So you could almost like anticipate her mood to some extent, you know, mm-hmm then you won’t be shocked, you know, when cramps started or she’s a little cranky cuz you, you know, acting like it’s not gonna happen every month. It’s a very realistic. And sensible and so minded approach 

Vernon: there, well, even understanding their birth [00:50:00] control method, all of that, you should know that as a partner, you should know how that has impacted them.

So you can understand how, okay, this is why they’re having a mood swing is because they’re on their their birth control. And at this point they will be having the cycle. So there’s a lot of hormones going around. So let me give them their space. 

De’Vannon: So you preaching now. So since we talk about dicks and pussies and assholes and all of this, I wanna, I wanna talk about sexually transmitted infections.

This is some, and again, these topics are, are the topics that Vernon covers on his show and his book and everything like that. And since it is pride month, it seems like there’s been an increase in talk of gay health in particular. I guess cuz the world’s just [00:51:00] getting sicker, you know, we know what new virus is coming out, like as frequently as they are.

Let’s see, how shall I start this? Well, let me tell everyone all the sexually transmitted diseases that I’ve ever had and then we’ll go from there. How does that sound burning? 

Vernon: That sounds good to me. 

De’Vannon: So HIV, I got close to getting full blown aids, but I started taking the medication before my T cell count dropped too low.

I think it got down to somewhere around 500 ish so, yeah, that was back when I was about 127 pounds and homeless and strung out on meth. And so we’ve had HIV, almost full blown aids, hepatitis B. I’ve had anal wards. I’ve had syphilis bunch of times chlamydia, a bunch of times gonorrhea. A bunch of times had that one.

That’s it. I’ve got everything I said is the only one [00:52:00]

Vernon: well, if you’ve got tested for HSV one, then we, we, even though they don’t consider that STI, but I’m with you on that one.

look you out here with bingo, but look, I have mental health. Bingo, you got St. Bingo winning our,

De’Vannon: well, what can I say? I did what I did

HS. So he mentioned HS V one, HSV, one, HPV human Papi virus. I don’t know what the fuck the HSV stands for human 

Vernon: Herpes, 

De’Vannon: herpes simplex. So the thing is. Herpes the human path alone. Pathoma virus is a sort of thing that is passed from like skin to skin contact. So the moment you start kissing people, having sex with people, you are [00:53:00] thrown into this whole pot of HSV, HPV.

Everybody has this on their skin. So if you take a test to Vernon’s point, you probably will show positive for it. It’s just the way it is. The thing is it does not manifest on everybody. And you’ve got at least 20, 30 different strands of the shit too. So it’s not like it’s a simple thing. I have incredibly sensitive skin.

And so that’s why I think the, an awards presented on me and, you know, I used to get cold sores a lot like that too. Not everybody will get cold sores. So what I’m saying is there could be a Dick. Who has the HPV virus on it, a kind that will generate an war and he might stick his Dick, hit the Vernons asshole and Vernon will not manifest an awards.

He might stick his Dick into my asshole and I will manifest an war. It just depends on what’s going on with Vernons body versus mine, his immune system, my immune [00:54:00] system, his natural chem, chemistry makeup, and so many different variables. A lot of which are unknown. The nurses and the doctors will just tell you, you know, we don’t know why manifest on some people and not on others.

So thing is, there’s a little vaccine that I, which a bitch would’ve told me about when I was younger called HPV. All you got, it takes about a year. It’s a three series shot. It takes a year to get the full vaccine, but that could have prevented me from getting an war and stuff like that. There’s so many vaccines that I think are important to the gay community.

And if we’re not going to a good doctor, they’re gonna miss it. Mm-hmm . So they should have given me hepatitis vaccines, HPV vaccines, and all of this shit back when they knew I was a gay ho, you know, and they knew I was a gay ho because I was in there getting tested of positive for everything else, you know?

And so on the anal ward thing. So now [00:55:00] every year I have to go to the doctor for them to take a biopsy out of my asshole to cut a piece out because there’s this thing called anal pap smears that people who bottom a lot need to get they take, and they do a culture like a swab around the asshole and check for any abnormal cells.

Because if you’re getting trauma down there a lot, or if you, you know, you’ve been exposed to HPV, whether you’ve had wart or not, you still need to get checked. So the test that I had done showed some abnormalities. So then with that, they, they went in and took a deeper look. They put me under anesthesia to see if they found any, to see if anything deeper in the anal canal was there.

They found some pre-cancerous cells. Okay. Had they let the, had we let that go, that it would’ve turned into cancer. And then that would’ve been a whole other shit show. And that has happened to people. And a lot of doctors missed this on people who have a lot of anal sex. And [00:56:00] this goes for straight people too.

Now you got straight guys out there who like to get fucked in the ass by plastic dicks. And sometimes by real dicks. And you have women out there who like to get fucked in the ass, you gotta get your ass, whole checked people. And so, so every year now I go, I call it my anal rejuvenation. Retreat every year ago.

I like that. I like that. They put me under and they chop the piece out. They examine it to be sure. You know, no nothing’s going on and then we stay and then we stay on top of it. That way I’ve talked for long enough, but I had to go ahead and tell people about my assholes. So what do you think about anal Warz and the HPV shot and everything?

see 

Vernon: I didn’t even know about the HPV shot, so that, that going, I need to like, go see about some stuff, but even like going back to something that you said earlier because you said it’s probably month and, you know, that’s when you really get the notices about [00:57:00] getting tested and all this other stuff.

And I really hate that so much because we link being, getting tested on a regular basis for HIV, STIs, and all the STIs during pride month. But we do not have the same messaging throughout the year. We link it to. Homosexuality all the time. We link it to the LGBTQ plus community all the time. When it impacts all of us, this is some marketing that’s supposed to be going year round to let people know, Hey, make sure you get tested, make sure you do get tested for all of these things.

It’s going back to the sexual health. Like even whenever I go to, so I had an incident at the beginning of the year where someone stealed me, meaning I thought they had a condom on and they did not have a condom on. So I had to go get tested. I had to go on on pep just to make sure I don’t contract any diseases that this person who has, if they do have any [00:58:00] in.

Even in those meetings, how the people cuz I, I prefer to always have sex with the condom oil. And because of that, I don’t have to use prep or anything like that. But meeting with the doctors, they’re just trying so heavily to push prep, like make sure you do take this. This is going to be something beneficial to you.

And I’m like, okay, you do not even realize that the fact that I’m here is because I was sexually assaulted by somebody that you are so ready to push this medicine on me to me that what you’re telling me is that I should be taking this on a regular basis because guess what? That’s probably gonna happen again, that someone’s going to violate you.

So you might as well already have the protection to prevent it. And I’m like that shouldn’t be what you’re telling me in this moment. Like that, that is how a lot of our medical system is. It’s like, okay, we’re going to not really educate you on [00:59:00] all the things about sexual health, but Hey, we got this medicine that’s for you, even in that moment with you, knowing that I am a person who do participate in anal sex that I am about why aren’t you let me know about, you know, the HPV shot that I can possibly have just in case something like that happens.

Why is it always just the prep side of things? Why are, are aren’t we telling heterosexual people that, you know, you have access to pep, you have access to prep that you have all of these diseases that might impact you. We don’t educate women on HPV and how common that is for men to have that and transferred over to women.

We don’t educate people that the majority of society actually has HPV already, like. These are the conversations that is often lacking outside of, you know, June. And when it is June, it’s only focusing on the queer community. It’s [01:00:00] like all these other people, you wanna focus on the minority of us as though we are the, the bringers of all sexual diseases, which is not the case.

De’Vannon: Okay. So I’m sorry, I’m sorry that, that sexual violation experience happened to you. And I’m sorry that your doctors were a Dick, but a lot of many doctors just don’t have a soul. And so that’s why I recommend nurse practitioners to people because a good female nurse practitioner, I’ve never met a male nurse practitioner, but I’m sure they exist.

Is I think better for you. They really, really take their time with you because they were a nurse first. Now they have the same, they can prescribe medication like a doctor. They have nurses that work for them. And it’s just like talking to a doctor except that they may not be in charge of the clinic. But so I see a nurse practitioner best medical care I’ve ever had in my life.

She’s the one who gave, given me [01:01:00] all these vaccines, who, who caught the thing in my asshole and everything like that, you know, she’s not looking at me like just, you know, some gay filthy disease, Mong girl setting in her office. You know, she’s looking at me like her child, you know, the males that I’ve had, you know, they just wanted to get me and get me out.

He didn’t wanna talk about assholes and what’s going in and out of them and stuff. You know, these doctors are uncomfortable with us. and probably with themselves too, and we don’t need that. So if you’re unhappy with the medical care, you’re getting fucking go somewhere else. Sure. If you can and, and try and ask around for a nurse practitioner, I didn’t know that things existed until, you know, you know, you know, once I moved back here to Louisiana from Texas, so 

Vernon: Texas , 

De’Vannon: I don’t live in Texas anymore.

Oh my God. It just 

Vernon: sure. I could never, I have, I have people I wanna visit in that state, but I could not live there. I can’t even one, if I even moved [01:02:00] to Texas with everything I have right now, I will go to jail because one, I, I, I’m already outside of their limit for how many sex toys you can have in the state, 

De’Vannon: they have a sex toy 

Vernon: limit.

Yes. I think it’s six. You cannot own more than six toys in the state of Tennessee. I mean, in the state of Texas, but you could have as many guns as you.

De’Vannon: I’ll just let that sink in. that reminds me when I was an air force recruiter and I had this thick ass book of regulations about all the reasons why a person can’t join the air force. And there was actually, there was actually a rule in there that if someone had participated in orgys in three ways, then they were considered to have character that was unfit to serve in the United States air force.

And I never told that to anybody and I, but I thought to [01:03:00] myself, who, who in the actual fuck sat down somewhere and thought about this deep about what the hell somebody is doing in their bedroom, how that can translate into whether or not, you know, how to fix an aircraft. What in the fuck does that one have to do with the other and who thought about it?

The same other fuckers who wanna control us through religion? The same other fuckers who want to control us through politics. There are people in this world who set around and think this hard about what people are doing in their own homes. It’s so , 

Vernon: I, I just learned, I can’t draw in the air force. That’s I’m trying to let that sit in.

De’Vannon: as a recruiter, I never lied to my recruits, but I lied to the air force religiously by the things that my recruits had done, because it, in my [01:04:00] opinion, it was none of their fucking business. If they’d done, done all kinds of meth and heroin and weed. Okay. If they’re, if they’re not still doing it, then let them go.

But you let the air force tell it, if you ever did meth or heroin or LS D that’s like a, you can’t come in. I’m like, okay, if this is not in they system, I just, I told my recruits to just lie. 

Vernon: That that’s like most of the people I see who are lawyers that I not the ones that I personally know, but the stories I know of, of some people, I’m just like you’re out here pushing these certain laws about drugs.

And were you COPD out where

you at 

De’Vannon: that party?

OK. Okay. But go off people, people do it all the time. Every. It’s a psychological thing. People like to try to restrict you [01:05:00] from doing the things that they’re doing, because people have bad mental health and the people who make the laws and the people who run churches and stuff like that. Don’t have to qualify and pass mental health examinations to have these positions.

They just have to suck the right Dick have gone to the right school or some shit like that, but they don’t have to be mentally qualified. 

Vernon: Child. I just wanna know what’s the right dig to make sure that all my bills is paid. That’s that’s all I wanna know, like long as you cover that and you also add 500,000 on the books.

We good. I only doing it once, because look, I’m not trying to suck your Dick on a regular basis. Oh, you can’t pay me enough of that. I’m sorry, but just that one time I, I made sure I give you $500,000 service. That’s all I know. 

De’Vannon: your lips gonna be laced with platinum 

Vernon: look gold. The fuck. Well, actually platinum’s a little bit more expensive.

You know what? Yeah, we go. You’re right. You’re right.[01:06:00]

alright. 

De’Vannon: And so, and so, all right. So since we’re talking about Texas and we’ll begin to wrap it up, With with, with this, we, I wanted to ask you about, so y’all, we’re gonna have this, this fine feisty beast man right here. Ooh, 

Vernon: beast, man. Yes. Had to say beast, man. Now I’m thinking of X man and beast man was still fine the next man.

So in a storm, Chuck. Okay. I’m good. I’m gonna get you at blue. 

De’Vannon: So, you know,

Vernon: it’s big, you know, it’s big. 

De’Vannon: It’s got, so we’re gonna have him back on if, to talk about his book, about, you know, the, the essential guy to being Ahoe. There was a port in there where you were [01:07:00] drawing a comparison between like obesity and abortion that I’m gonna ask you about in a minute, just to give a little teaser of the flavor of the book.

But before we transition to that and close out, I wanted to say a couple of things. I wanna jump back for a second to about how we were talking about how it’s June and how they focus on all the diseases and shit. When the spotlight is on the gay people. I just wanna remind the world just how kinky straight people are too, and how there’s not really that many core straight people left.

If ever there were, I’ve taken so much Dick from straight married men. Now, look, I’m not a thought anymore. I don’t take any pride in being that whole over there. No more. That’s what thought stands for. But there was a time in my youth where I was like, oh, well, I ain’t my fault a bitch. And I do what she supposed to be doing.

Come on over here and get this busty. But you know, I don’t fuck marry men anymore, but all they, but I’ve had sex with so many married men is unreal, straight [01:08:00] acting masculine, married men. Nobody could know. So women. Try to fuck their gay friends. I’ve had this happen too. and you have all kinds of people who do not identify as anything other than straight, who seem to always find themselves in the company of non straight people trying to do shit.

And they don’t consider themselves not straight. I don’t know. I mean, just cuz you have sexual experiences with people who are not straight, doesn’t make you anything other than straight, but it makes you a freak for damn show. And so what I’m saying is the diseases. You know, it can affect us all because people who identify as straight, still like to have experiences that are not straight.

And so I just wanted to remind people like that and let you know, it’s not just men, the women like to get freaky Dey too. and the diseases go both ways. So yeah, straight people should be using prep and everything else. The messaging should be the same to the [01:09:00] whole world all the time. Not just to the gay people in June mm-hmm

So I wanted you to explain to people how your podcast, how the, the question structure is. Cause you’re very categorized and you’re very organized. So just kind of break that down for people. 

Vernon: So at, at first we all myself and my guests will meet up and we’ll just talk about the topics that they chose.

So I’m a very consent forward person. I don’t invite people onto the podcast to ask them to discuss a specific topic. I let my guests choose whatever they want to, and then we’ll meet, we’ll discuss, okay. Why did you choose this one topic? And we’ll, and within that conversation, I might get inspired by something.

And I jot that down because that would be something that will be great to dig deeper into and then ask reflective questions during that time, too, so that we both can grow that conversation a little bit more. And that helps guide the episode. And while [01:10:00] we’re actually recording and sit down and talking about things, I’ll have that up so that we can still keep structure within the show.

But we welcome tangents because that is what a true conversation is. A true conversation is something about. It’s, it’s having those 10 tangential conversations going into different things, unrelated to what you originally was talking about, and then somehow finding your way all the way back to that point.

Regardless of how far left you went or how far right you went, you’re just going through the motions. You’re going through the flow of every day, everyday life, essentially. So that’s pretty much how everything is structured. We also have our what is the word? Safe word of the show too.

For any conversation that is too uncomfortable again, consent forward. And that safe word is red light disco. We haven’t had to use it yet [01:11:00] but it is still there. One of my friends, she tried to use it when we were transitioned over to the sex questions and I, I had to check her cuz she, you cannot be like red light this go before we even ask the question but it, it is just our relationship.

She was playing anyways, but you know it’s all about the flow. And yeah, I think I answered that. I have ADHD. I be going on tangents all the time. but yeah. 

De’Vannon: Okay. And so, and I’m gonna be going on Vernon show too as well in the future. So this is a crossover that we’re really doing here and there will be no use to safe word.

So everyone already knows I’ve got felonies. I’ve been a drug dealer. I’ve hung around with meth hooks and I have had an awards. So what the fuck it. Can’t we talk about, we gonna talk about it all bitch. 

Vernon: It’s the freedom of it all.[01:12:00]

Like even within my podcast space, I chose like vulnerability is very important and the more vulnerable you can be with other people, the better society can be where you see that people really do be going through shit. like, you cannot just gloss out everything. Like it’s a social media post.

We all have lives. We all have traumas. And even something I’m doing for my listeners this month is exposing something that happened to me last year during a point of psychosis. And I actually recorded that because that was something that was therapeutic for me is to record myself, talking to myself and I’m even releasing that.

I don’t, it’s not saying y’all should go listen to it because no, really you do not need to listen to it, do not. But even for those people who want to go into that and learn about that experience, they have that option. But. The podcast podcast space is just a, a way for myself [01:13:00] and my guests to be upfront, vulnerable, honest, and just be ourselves because there’s not a lot of authentic spaces these days.

It’s always about the image or the being politically correct or trying a way to fit a mold so that we do not offend other people. And it’s not a space of offense. It’s just being, you.

De’Vannon: Mm-hmm and Y some of his podcasts, I love his podcast show titles, but one of them is called the pastor has a cock ring and , and then the other one is stick thigh, save lives. And, and look with all of this here I’m working with. See, I can show the peoples, 

Vernon: y’all let them let see that thigh let see.

De’Vannon: They used to call me thunder thighs. When I was in elementary school, I’ve had thick thighs all my life. Yas bitch [01:14:00] has very interesting pod. Yeah, it’s very interesting. Uh, Podcast show, titles, show topics, very vulnerable and transparent information. And I agree with you. Transparency is everything.

Instead of running around, looking all cute, like we got it together, like the social media post and, you know, try to make us look, let’s be vulnerable and real so that when our friends and ourselves go through some shit, we actually know that we can rely on. Each other mm-hmm . So in your book, you’ve talked about, you were saying like the abortion argument.

You know, you know, she’d still be like the, the woman, her choice. You’re saying like, if someone was obese, the, the people wouldn’t make like laws to prevent them from eating themselves to death. So give me your breakdown on how, how you draw that comparison. 

Vernon: Because I, when you look at everything that we’re exposed to most definitely on social media, you have all this fatty food, all these advertisements for food, everything that you can eat and just gain weight on.

Yes. We shame people who are plus size, but we are literally not [01:15:00] restricting their diets in any way. We have all these dietary things that, oh yeah, you can eat this. You have keto diet, you have the Akins diet, a lot of these diets. Are not sustainable in terms of weight, but we have all these things to make you feel negative about being plus size or having weight on your body.

But we’re not doing anything to restrict you from eating. However you want to eat. We’re not doing anything to force you to change your eating habits. We still give people that freedom to. Have control over their weight. However they want to going to the gym is a choice. Eden McDonald’s is a choice, whatever it is, it’s always a choice, but when it comes to a woman or a vulva owner in terms of how they Utilize their body.

We want to put restrictions on it. We want to say that, oh, the only reason for you to have an abortion is for you to either be a victim of [01:16:00] molestation, incest rape and I’m of the mindset. I should not have to go through trauma just so I could have control over my body. Regardless of how you feel in terms of your religiosity, in terms of your upbringing, your values, your values do not dictate my life.

I should have the freedom to maneuver in my life. However, I want to move maneuver in my life the same way I have that, right. When it comes to what I eat. So when you tell me Abortion is a sin that it’s it is against God’s will all these things who’s to say that I have the same God that you have who’s to say that my God is in the God, that loves me because I made a decision that was best for me.

Who’s to say that I don’t get redemption because I had to make a tough decision of [01:17:00] not having a child that would’ve changed my life, because regardless of who you are having a child is. A traumatic thing, because it is a, a huge shift in your psyche. It’s a huge shift in your life. And for those people who give birth to children, that is a huge shift to their body as well, their body, their biological chemistry, all of that.

There’s a huge shift in adjustment that happens after you have a child too. And even for those who are not having children, those who are not carrying, even if you adopt, that’s a huge shift in your, your reality, because now you’re ha you have to take care of a whole nother human being that could communicate and let you know what is going on with them.

That has their own autonomy, that has their own personality, their own perspectives on life. You have to. Make huge changes when it comes to adding a child into your life. And that’s a huge decision to make [01:18:00] this just as huge as of a decision is to raise is just as huge to decide, to not raise a child and people should have that, right.

That say so in order to do that, 

De’Vannon: every generation has its hypocrites just like in Jesus’s day and our hypocrites of the day. Is a Republican party, a Catholic church. Yeah, pretty much just about every church at this point, you know, I’m so over churches but I love Jesus. I love, I love God. I just don’t love churches.

As I say, the further I get away from church, the closer I get to God. But what, what you’re saying is that since you’re not gonna make laws that restrict every possible negative thing and sinful thing in the world, why just her mm-hmm 

Vernon: cause it’s like, what are we gonna do for those people who could shoot up the club?

Well, Ooh, that’s that’s okay. I’m talking about the [01:19:00] cause there’s another thing or that we’re not taking action on, but as in coming into somebody that up the club, the proverb impregnating a person.

Poor choice of words in this moment of time, but what are we going to say to those people who are providing the ejaculate? Are we not restricting men’s bodies? Because one, we can mandate vasectomies because that’s the main thing that is causing pregnancies is sperm. You don’t have two eggs and it just creates a, a, a well technical sperm is an egg, but you know, you don’t have two eggs and a ovary that comes together and make a baby happy.

You need those sperm cells to do that. So since vasectomy is something that is reversible, why aren’t we not man mandating that men? Well, little boys get a VI vasectomy as soon as they start puberty, because we, [01:20:00] we understand as men that’s taken away, their personal autonomy and their decision about what they wanna do with their bodies.

But we don’t extend that same grace to those who have vaginas will evolve us. So 

De’Vannon: on a subconscious level, you’re absolutely right. I never thought about it like that before. You’re bloody brilliant, man. but like on a subconscious level, and this is why as a scripture says, God tries the hearts and the reins, see man looks at the outer appearance, but the Lord looks at the real motives behind why we do what we do.

Even if we’ve come to terms with our motives and told ourselves the truth about them or not on a subconscious level historically, and historically speaking, people do not value women. And if, and if you’re trying to use Israelite customs, which is what the Hebrew Bible is, which I don’t, you cannot force every all, all 330 million of us in America are all 8 billion people in the world to act like Hebrews did 2000 years ago.

You just can’t. And [01:21:00] so. But at the end of the day, them people didn’t think that much about women. You know, they were not have held in high esteem in society. And so you have that, that spirit, you know, infused until all of this whole anti-abortion theme because people ultimately want to keep women under their feed.

And I don’t think women should be under anybody’s feet. You know, I think she should be able to do what she wants, but people just don’t. And then you have some dumb ass women who are out there saying the same damn thing. Well, you don’t have basic bitches in every generation and it’s just, unfortunately, nothing you can do to get rid of them.

And so, so that’s an interesting perspective. And so the next episode we’re gonna get on to more of. Interesting things that you think about shit like that. And so I look forward to having you back. This has been a delightful fucking conversation. Do you have no, I’m gonna say it now. So again, his podcast is called ho [01:22:00] liqui.

That’s H E a U X L I L O Q U Y, honey. And then the holi.com Slater’s Playhouse. Social media is Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, picky, talky. All of this information will go in the motherfucking show. We knows it always does. Thank you all for joining the sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Again, this week, Vernon, I’m gonna let you close us out with your last words.

Vernon: Well, my last words is thank you so much for having me and for everyone out there, go out there and do something that aah would do and enjoy that shit.

De’Vannon: Yes.

Thank you all so much for taking time to listen to the sex drugs in Jesus podcast. It really means everything to me. Look, if you love the show, you can find more information and resources at [01:23:00] SexDrugsAndJesus.com or wherever you listen to your podcast. Feel free to reach out to me directly at DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com and on Twitter and Facebook as well.

My name is De’Vannon and it’s been wonderful being your host today and just remember that everything is gonna be right.

 

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