Elaine Perliss is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and State Board Certified Instructor who assists her clients in achieving success. Her passion is helping people overcome roadblocks, create positive changes and develop life-long strategies for personal and professional well-being.
Elaine is a top-honors graduate of Hypnosis Motivation Institute, the only nationally accredited college for Hypnotherapy. In addition, she holds a Master Practitioner Certifications in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Therapeutic Imagery.
In Elaine’s words, “Helping people is not as much what I do… it’s who I am.
Elaine helps her clients in-person at her Sherman Oaks and Tarzana offices or by telephone and Skype with clients worldwide. Among her areas of expertise, Elaine helps individuals and families struggling with the negative effects of addiction as well as creating personal growth through Mindful Awareness practices. Other specialty areas of focus include career challenges and transformations, overcoming negative emotions such as fear, anxiety and anger, dealing with profound loss, letting go of negative habits like smoking, procrastination, overeating and much more.
Prior to her career as a Certified Hypnotherapist, Elaine spent many years as an Entertainment Industry executive, where she combined the art of multitasking with her high-paced and stress-filled career and her life.
Today, she combines her rich and rewarding hypnotherapy practice with her life as a wife, mother, doting aunt, caretaker for her menagerie of pets, avid gardener, runner and lover of all things in nature.
INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to):
· A Live Hypnotherapy Session
· The Benefits Of Hypnotherapy
· This History Of Hypnotherapy
· Different Modalities Of Hypnotherapy
· Myths Addressed & Debunked
· Subconscious Vs. Conscious Mind
CONNECT WITH ELAINE:
CONNECT WITH DE’VANNON:
· Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)
o TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs
· OverviewBible (Jeffrey Kranz)
· Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)
· Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levin
· Upwork: https://www.upwork.com
· FreeUp: https://freeup.net
VETERAN’S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS
· Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org
· American Legion: https://www.legion.org
· What The World Needs Now (Dionne Warwick): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg
INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?:
· PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.
You’re listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De’Vannon and I’ll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what’s really going on in your life.
There is nothing off the table and we’ve got a lot to talk about. So let’s dive right into this episode.
De’Vannon: I would like everyone to meet Elaine Perliss. She’s a part of my behind the scenes team that helps keep me tuned up and functioning in a way that I can be of benefit to society. She is my personal hypnotherapist. She was also my instructor when I was in school at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute to become a licensed hypnotist, which I am.
So please watch and listen to learn all about the valuable benefits of [00:01:00] hypnosis when administered my licensed and trained professional.
Welcome back everyone to the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. I’m your host van in Hubert, and today I have a very special guest for very special episode. Her name is Elaine Peris, and you have heard me talk about hypnosis, hypnotherapy. I appreciate from the rooftop, the mountaintop from the bottom of the valley, y’all.
And now I’m revealing to the world a person who is my personal hypnotherapist. Her name is Elaine. I’ve had on the show previously my personal physician assistant, so I love dissecting every aspect of my life for y’all to see. You know what? People are gonna talk about me anyway, so I’m giving you bitches, something to talk about.
Elaine, how are you?
Elaine: I am. Well, thank you so much for having me on the show. I really appreciate that. I’m honored to be [00:02:00] working together with you today.
De’Vannon: Absolutely. Now y’all, when I was a student at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, Elaine was one of my professors, and that’s how I met her. She has her own private PR practice and everything like that.
And that website is elaine peris.com. That’s e L A i n E P E R L i s s.com. All this information will go in the showy notes, as it always does, along with any of her social media and stuff like that. She has a fascinating FAQ page on her website too, and which will answer a lot of your questions about hypnotherapy and hypnosis.
So then let’s dive right into it. Tell us about the history of hypnotherapy.
Elaine: Oh, that’d be great. Thank you so much. You know, a lot of people think that it’s only been around for a little while, but it’s surprising that it’s been around for over 5,000 years. In fact, the first evidence of its use was back in Egypt over 5,000 years [00:03:00] ago.
And back then they called them sleep temples. And these sleep temples are where they went and they utilized an expectation and an overload, and a lot of the same tools that we use today. Interesting. Anyways, it continued to evolve, it continued to grow in different cultures, and it spread throughout the entire world.
And fast forward a few thousand years to the 17 hundreds, this gentleman, his Dr. Anton Mesmer came along and he was so excited about it, and its medicinal opportunities and possibilities. He actually named it mesmerism, and that’s where they, you know, if you think of the word, I’m mesmerized. That’s where it came.
Anyways, fast forward his fir, his followers, they continued to make progress and it continued to grow and evolve. At this point, it was mostly be mostly in the European countries, France, Germany, et cetera. Then in the early [00:04:00] 18 hundreds it really expanded as more and more, more and more medical applications were discovered.
For example, anesthesia, sciatica, and lots and lots of really surprising results, which made them even more excited about this. You know, seemingly new technology, but it is literally a new application and they kept finding more and more uses. So then they called it lucid sleep. But in the mid 18 hundreds there was this gentleman, Dr.
James Braid. He said, Wow, wait a second. I can use this for emotional connections to physical illness. And I think this is more like hypnosis, so I’m gonna call it hypnotism. And it basically, that’s a Greek word for. It was sort of a light state of trans. So anyways, more and more evolution, more studies, more scientific.
The scientific community really got on board at this point, and there were a lot of medical applications in the 18 [00:05:00] hundreds. And then by the late 18 hundreds, it was actually being ca taught in universities, medical universities. As part of their actual training in the 19 hundreds, it really started to expand.
Many of you have heard of Dr. Sigman Freud. He’s the founder of psychoanalysis, and he started dabbling in hypnosis for the purpose of mental health issues. And he was an early pioneer in that area. Now he also had a number of followers and they all started to expand it and grow it in the. Field. In fact, it would come to be called Conscious Autosuggestion.
It’s had a lot of names over the years Anyways, it was used widely in World War I and World War II for trauma, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and other war related emotional and mental illnesses. Now, in the 1920s, you might remember that was the beginning of, you know, [00:06:00] vaudeville and things like that. Well, stage hypnosis really.
Stage at that point, and that exploded the awareness of hypnosis. And the, one of the, one of the people who went to one of those, those events, one of those shows, his name was Dr. Milton Erickson. Now, Dr. Milton Erickson, he suffered from polio, and so he decided to use some of these techniques for his own physical and emotional ailments that he had.
And so he went on to become probably the foremost, one of the foremost doctors of hypnotherapy in the 20th century or in the 19 hundreds. He called it behavioral modification. And he, again, he moved on to greatness. Now in the 20th century, the later 20th century hypnotherapy, Hypnosis Motivation Institute came along in 1968 and it’s been going alive and well now for well over 50 [00:07:00] years.
And it is now called hypnotherapy. And it’s awareness, it’s acceptance, it’s therapeutic and scientific value continue to grow exponentially. And as applications are continued to be discovered more and more, it’s, it’s use and its acceptance and its validity and its effectiveness. Grow and grow and grow.
And that brings you to today and who knows where it’s going from here.
De’Vannon: Right. And then you mentioned the Hypno Motivation Institute. I just wanna let everybody know that, you know, our school was the first accredited school in the country for hypnotherapy. You got some good ones out there, you got some bad ones out there, you really, really do.
But this one was the first.
Elaine: Yes. Can I add a little bit to that? By all means. Oh, good. One of the things, I mean I’ve been affiliated with the school for over 20 years, since the turn of the century. Anyways, I’ve been affiliated with the school for a long time, and not too long ago they came up with a degree [00:08:00] program and it’s in mind body psychology.
And so now, not only was it the first and only nationally accredited college for hypnotherapy, then it became, you know, when other schools started you know, jumping onto the bandwagon while we’re now the first degree oriented. And so it has jumped into the realm of mind body psychology, and it is taken it exponential.
De’Vannon: So, yeah, how about that? I might have to go back to school, y’all. I
Elaine: know. It’s, I just graduated. I now have my degree and I am very, very happy. Oh, congratulations
Elaine: Clinical hypnotherapist, . Anyway, so that’s,
De’Vannon: so there is, there’s modalities of within hip and therapy, so I want people to know that it’s not just hypnotherapy solid, like, so say for instance, neurolinguistic programming, nlp.
Super popular. I know people who have like just NLP [00:09:00] licenses, but I learned how to do this when I was in school for hypnotherapy. So can you mention some of the other modalities?
Elaine: Sure. Well, let me talk about NLP or neurolinguistic programming. Dr. Milton Erickson was one of the, the guy who was very, the doctor that was really prominent in hypnosis.
He was one of the very earliest proponents and subjects that the people who developed NLP used as a subject. So he’s been involved with NLP since, Well, he was involved with NLP since its beginning, and it’s an incredible method. It’s how you do what you do and mix together with the behavioral modification aspects of hypnosis.
It’s sort of like a hand in a. But there are many other techniques that are used. For example, therapeutic imagery. A lot of people are familiar with that. And it’s basically talking to the subconscious and finding out what the subconscious needs because all behavior comes from the [00:10:00]subconscious. There are other techniques like emdr, e, f, T, and those are tapping methods that you can use.
There are hundreds of different methods and modalities and more and more discovered every day. Biofeedback inner child, just loads and loads of them.
De’Vannon: Okay. Kick ass man. So tell us about your personal history. What got you into hyp hyp hypnotherapy, and what are some of your personal qualifications?
Elaine: Thank you. I appreciate that. I am a clinical hypnotherapist and I am a senior staff instructor over at HMI Hypnosis Motivation Institute. And I, most recently, and I, again, I mentioned that I just most recently got continuing my education. So all through the years that I’ve been doing this again for, so for, you know, for a long time I’m continuing to grow and learn and evolve.
And so I have been in this field [00:11:00] since you guys probably remember nine 11. It was a little bit of an emotional time, and it was a little bit of an up evil in this country. So a lot of people were kind of at odds. Well, right before that just prior to that, my life, my personal life was turned upside down.
In the late 1990s, my husband at that time, about 20 years, he became very ill, and we almost lost him, but he had a long hospitalization and happily recovered and we’re alive and kicking today, which is great. But in the, in the year 2000, I’m so grateful. In the year 2000, that’s when everything hit the wall.
My in a span of two months, I lost my father. In May, June, I lost my sister-in-law suddenly to a heart attack, and in July, I lost my mother. Well, I realized then that I was a helping, caring, sharing person because I was the primary caregiver and I realized there’s more to life. So I had a bigger purpose and [00:12:00] I knew that my marketing executive days in the highly successful but very toxic environment of the entertainment business were, they’re numbered.
So I did my own recovery work and discovered hypnotherapy to be one of the best things since slice bread. It literally helped to change my life. So that’s, and then fast forward to today, I’m still doing it and I’m loving it every last minute of it.
De’Vannon: You know what, there’s nothing like trauma to, to push us into our destiny.
Into our futures and everything like that. It happens that way so much.
Elaine: It’s so true. It’s so true. We go through a really traumatic experience. Basically what happens, people come to hypnosis and hypnotherapy when the drama, trauma, discomfort, pain, fear, whatever it is that they’re in, becomes more untenable, more scary, more uncomfortable than the fear of whatever [00:13:00] the change might be in hypnosis.
And so when people are courageous enough and call a hypnotherapist and say, Yikes, I need help. Can you help me to feel better? It’s because they’re so Exhausted. Feeling exhausted. You know, they’re traumatized. They want to feel better. They want quality of life. I mean, it’s what turns a lot of people around.
I know that Devon and you and I have been working together and you were in a place of, you know what? I’m tired of dragging along the old stuff that I used to have and I don’t want it anymore. It’s not serving me anymore. And so hypno asy therapy because we’re behaviors and because we help people by accessing the power of our subconscious mind, that’s what helps us to make changes so much easily, So much more effect.
because we are using not only our conscious, but our [00:14:00] subconscious, you know, our conscious thoughts and our subconscious motivation.
De’Vannon: How much of our mind is subconscious versus how much of it is conscious?
Elaine: Be a little bit surprising if you knew for, for your viewers and your listeners, imagine in iceberg, you know, when you see an iceberg and you see this pretty big iceberg, well, it’s pretty big, but that’s about 10 to 12% of the whole mass of the iceberg.
So that would be representative of the conscious mind, all the part that’s below the water, the part that you can’t see, that 88 to 90%, that is our subconscious, that’s our autopilot, our habits, our motivations, our behaviors, our emotions, all the stuff that we do without thinking. If I was gonna throw a ball at you, you would not think about ducking or moving to the left or the right, because your subconscious is there to protect you and to keep you safe and alive and well.
And so once you learn something, [00:15:00] it becomes part of your automatic behavior. But what ends up happening is we might learn something like, for example, someone RA raised in a war zone, they may learn that loud noises are a bad thing because that means a bomb is dropping in their front yard. But after a while the war is over, they’re going along and having a nice life, and then a car backfires and they are completely sorry for the word triggered.
They’re totally activated again. And then what ends up happening is it’s almost like they are that child completely. And that’s a tangible example, but that’s basically what happens. Maybe you learn something as a child that worked for you when you were a child, when you were in a danger zone, but today that danger doesn’t exist.
But your behavior and your habit, the stuff that’s, that 90% that’s still alive and well and your subconscious until we go in and we replace it with something [00:16:00] else that you want more. And that’s how it works.
De’Vannon: Absolutely. Fantastic. So let’s talk about some of the myths within the hip, hip hypnosis field.
Tell us what it, how it, how it can be presented falsely. Then what it actually is.
Elaine: Absolutely. Sometimes people, you know, you know, I talked about a little bit about it being on the stage, the stage hypnosis, and what happened that it screamed to popularity because it was something that was fun to watch and you could really dramatize it.
So people would think that you have to bark like a dog or clock like a chicken. Or after a hypnosis session, I’d call you up and I’d say, Rosebud, and you’d run out and kill somebody. Well, the fact of the matter is hypnosis is a natural state. Everybody is in hypnosis a couple of times every single day.
Like for example, when you’re driving in your car and you’re just going along the road and your [00:17:00] turn was over there, but you were focused on the road. That’s a state of environmental hypnosis. It just means that you’re focusing here and you are the things around you are starting to, you know, melt into the background.
It’s a natural process. It’s a relaxing process. Someone in herm hypnosis is never out of control. They’re never made to do anything that they don’t wanna do or say. Anything you don’t want, they won’t say. And you know, it’s been around for over 5,000 years and they have been com per, I don’t wanna say perfecting it, but they continued to improve it and found more and more effective ways to use it.
And the scientific ev evidence behind it is compelling at this point. And so there are hundreds of different ways that people can use hypnosis. It is something that it’s a behavioral modification process, and, and everyone is hypnotizable. Now. Some people will feel, you know, everybody [00:18:00]experiences hypnosis differently.
Some people have a light and tingling sensation. Some people feel relaxed and calm. Some people feel like they’ve gotten eight hours sleep in 15 minutes, but some people don’t feel any differently at all. It’s all good. Everybody experiences it differently. Now. A lot of people, they don’t even realize that they’re hypnotized, but the hypnotherapist, a qualified hypnotherapist, can tell that you’re hypnotized.
They’ll let you know along the way what’s going on, what to expect, what not to expect, and you know you are right with them. You could get up at any time, but most people don’t want to because it’s a very, very comfortable feeling and it is a participatory process. And what that means is the hiphop therapist.
Our job is to help the client to come up with different strategies, different ways of doing things, new habits, new behaviors, different ways of thinking about it, seeing it. And different models, if you will, [00:19:00] for conducting their lives. And then the hypnotherapist will help to jumpstart that process by helping them to achieve the state of hypnosis.
And then once they do, then the hypnotherapist will give the client their positive suggestions. And so like when I’m doing a hypnotherapy session, I’ll keep notes of what the client says because I know what the client is the most open to the words. So I will be giving them their words. And then the client does their part by, in between sessions, they practice those changes.
And the more they practice those changes, the more quickly change happens. And as I mentioned before, it’s, it’s so effective. There’s hundreds of different ways that it can be used more and more each day from things like pain management. A lot of people use this for comfort, and in fact, those were a lot of the earlier applications.
My areas of specialty are more on the levels of the emotional areas. For [00:20:00] example, anxieties, fears, worry, guilt, maybe a fear of success. A fear of failure is very, very common. Having to deal with the unknown, the uncertainties. But then there’s also the things that most people have heard of, like breaking bad habits like smoking or body your nails or things like that.
But while you’re breaking those bad habits, you’re shifting them to ones that you would prefer to have. And so instead of saying, not biting my nails, my nails are beautiful. My nails are growing, or instead of saying, I’m not successful in my job, I’m flourishing. I’m creating all the goals, I’m manifesting all the goals that I want.
And so it’s the, It’s moving to a can do attitude as opposed to, I can’t. And so and also, you know, you mentioned this earlier, trauma, ptsd, the things that happened in our past, you know, [00:21:00]dysfunctional childhoods, family systems, some of the beliefs that we had, sometimes our history, maybe we were raised in a, in an environment, sometimes culturally, sometimes religiously, sometimes in, you know, difficult situations where there were a lot of things that were present then that are not present now.
And so it’s a matter of replacing those old strategies for survival with ones that work today. And also, and this is the part that I like the best, because people have a tendency to, with hypnosis, they build their happiness, their self-esteem, their self-confidence their inner balance, their wellbeing.
Kind of a state of zen. It’s just a really wonderful state of balance and comfort in your life, and that’s one of the reasons why those are some of the reasons why I love it so much. Hell
De’Vannon: yeah. I’ll take all that [00:22:00] shit. Okay. I’ll give
Elaine: all to you. I’m happy to share that with you
De’Vannon: and look the world, y’all can have it too.
So I wanna talk about, go back to that word you mentioned overload, because then I want you to explain like the the snap that you use often in hypnosis. And my favorite takeaway, what I learned from when I was in school, the way they explained it to me and the reason why, like, like you say, everybody is hypnotizable.
They were explaining like, so when we go to the. You know, like if I turn this television on behind me and I, it’s Halloween almost, and I put on a horror movie and the big titty girl’s about to run, she’s running through the woods. And of course I know she’s gonna fall and she’s gonna get slaughtered by the buggy Man.
Happens every time, every Halloween. But my post is that’s not gonna, that’s because I know that, Cause I know it’s fake. It’s not gonna stop my pulse from racing. My heart is gonna accelerate. I’m gonna feel fear for this dumb ass bitch because, and I know she’s gonna die every Halloween, but I’m still gonna like feel that way [00:23:00] anyway because my mind is in a state of overload and my consciousness cannot discern, you know, reality from fakeness.
And that’s kind of. You know how, what’s going on here? So explain to us how overload is and what that has to do with how you gain access to the subconscious. I
Elaine: love that. That was a great explanation cuz you were talking about all of the elements all rolled into one. I had this overload, I had this expectation, I had this anxiety, I had this heightened awareness.
I’m hyper suggestible. That’s what we call it in hypnosis. And what happens is we get all these messages, all these messages, all these messages, and it’s like, it’s like Chinese water torture or something like that. It just goes over and over. And then eventually what happens is we get this overload of message units and we’re filled up to the top.
And eventually what we do is we escape into hypnosis. In other words, We need to get out of that [00:24:00] overload place. And so what we do is we call it escaping into the state of hypnosis. And then when someone, it’s called the peak of your suggestibility. So you’re going up, up, up, you’re getting more and more and more overloaded and more message units, more information, more whatever’s coming.
And then when I smack my fingers and say deep sleep, I’ll say deep. And then all of a sudden that’s if you weren’t over the edge yet, you’re over it now. And then once you go over that and you escape into this bliss, you know, it’s like you’re going into this amazing warm pool or this, you know, wonderful blanket or whatever it is.
You just go into this amazing state of relaxation. And at that point, the hypnotherapist is, you are open to the suggestions that has opened you to opened your subconscious to receive the suggestions, the barriers that we’re trying to keep you from going into that state of hypnosis. [00:25:00] Those barriers have come aside, they’ve been pulled aside, and your subconscious is open.
It’s not unlike, and it’s really kind of an interesting parallel now in this state of sleep when you’re actually physically asleep at. The same process is happening, but you are in an unconscious state. Your subconscious is open. All the information that came in during the day that you’ve been keeping on hold in a holding pattern.
It’s all getting mixed together with what you know, and in the natural process, your subconscious is pulling it together and mixing it all together and creating new behaviors and new habits. So the process of hypnosis, and we call it hypnosis, which means sleep. You’re not really asleep, as I mentioned.
You’re more aware it’s in a state of subconscious. So it’s between the conscious state and the unconscious state is this place called subconscious, [00:26:00] and that’s where your subconscious is open to these suggestions. Just like when you are in a sleep state, only you hear everything that’s said and your subconscious is actually mixing all the new information that comes in and mixing it together with what you already.
And in the state of hypnosis, we give your subconscious permission to let go of those old behaviors and habits while we give you the new suggestions and the new ideas, the ones that have been stuck up here in the holding pattern where the conscious mind is. And that’s how we create that synchronicity.
De’Vannon: Does that help? That’s, that’s one of my, Yes, it did. Thank you so much for, for offering that synchronicity, ity, all of those sort of words, all this love event. They’re so intense and so beautiful. Just beautiful in the most intense way. So, so yes, I’ve been, you know you know, seeing you for, I don’t even know how long cause time goes by so fast, but [00:27:00] my, my favorite, you know, and I, and I came to you.
You know, because I, during the course of my training for hypnotherapy, I realized that the voices in my head that had been guiding my life really were not my own. I still had the voice as a church in my head. I had the voice of the military in my head, the critical voice for my, my, my abusive of dad, you know, in my head and everything like that.
And then, and like in my relationship with my boyfriend, I’m hearing myself speak the same, the same critical negativity that, that those three entities spoke to me. And I’m going, Wait a minute. I know better than to say that and to do that. Why am I acting this way? And why do I feel these insecure feelings and things like that?
And so I realized that I was, even though I’m almost 40 years old, I was still under the influence of things from when I was younger. And so now people will always hear, hear me say, It’s important for you to know why you think what you think is important for you to know why you feel, what you feel, [00:28:00] why you believe what you believe, and not to accept every thought and emotion that comes to you, no matter how intensely it presents itself without registering that it’s actually authentically yours.
Mm-hmm. . And and there are people who I pose a question to. They have a very strong belief on something. I’ll go, Well, why do you believe that? Or why do you think that? And they can’t render a reason, you know, And I, and I don’t wanna let myself be that way. The most beautiful experience that I’ve had since, you know, starting hypno, the hypnotherapy with you, is I had a dream.
And in this, in this, in this field of healing, the early morning dreams are a very important way that the subconscious will vent messages and healing and things like that. Those early morning dreams is something you’ll hear every qualified hyp in the therapist talk about. And so I had a dream of myself as like, it was like my adult self and I went into like this burning house , like this burning house that was like on fire [00:29:00] and I found like my five to seven year old self in there.
And it’s like I was trying to get him. To get out of this house. And I couldn’t, I couldn’t get him out of the house, but I, but I kept trying to reassure him and I kept telling him, You know, it’s not your fault. You know, it’s not your fault. You know, it’s not your fault. I kept telling him, You know, it’s not your fault to try to get him out of this goddamn house.
And I couldn’t get him out of the house in that dream. But just the fact that I went on this search to find myself and to give myself reassuring words, you know, is a good indication that I’m headed in the right direction. And so for me, that was the most, the most beautiful manifestation of the benefits of hypnotherapy so far.
Elaine: Oh my gosh, I remember that. You know, it’s interesting when you were talking about that you discovered that you had new tools that, if you don’t mind, I’m just gonna you a little feedback on that. You discovered that that little boy, that was you, the five to seven year old, [00:30:00] that was when a lot of the trauma was going on in your past.
You know, it just happened to be a pivotal time when you probably felt the most helpless. And so what it was was the adult, you going back and trying to rescue that child and get him out of that, now that you couldn’t bring him out to me, was you were letting go up The notion that he was trapped because it was a venting dream and a venting dream means that you’re letting go of old behaviors and habits.
I’m not, he’s not trapped anymore. I’ve got him, I’ve got this. Does that, does that make sense?
De’Vannon: It does. I did feel a strong sense of like, I may have cried in this dream or something like that, but it did feel very, it did feel very cathartic. You know, when I woke up, you know, it stuck with me for, you know, for quite a while and I did feel a strong sense of release.
Elaine: Yes. Yes. It makes sense. I know that that [00:31:00] was when we were turning some corners. You know, it’s so interesting because the subconscious in speaking of that, the subconscious communicates in symbols and images and contrary to popular belief, cuz you were talking about that critical voice that we think comes out of the subconscious, the subconscious number one goal is to keep us alive and well on the planet.
Every single thing that it learns and does is with whenever it learned it, it knew that it was good for you, you or anybody else. And so it will always bring up stuff. That you might have a learning or an insight or in its, you know, five year old mind thinks it’s good for you. Like, for example, you grew up in a critical household, and so drinking the Kool-Aid for, you know, for lack of better word, but buying the symptoms of what was going on actually did help you [00:32:00] just survive.
You know, whether it was the church, whether it was the military, whether it was your parents, whether it was any number of situations and scenarios, you actually survived your childhood because you developed those coping mechanisms. But then you said, Why am I still doing this? Why am I still with the critical voices?
Well, what ends up happening is that those critical voices, by the way, this is a fun fact. Any of that negative self-talk, absolutely zero. That none of it, not one word originated from you. None of it. And that’s an astounding fact because what happens is we’re born thinking we’re all that, we’re like the king of the hill.
We are like the, all of that. And that’s part of our survival mechanism. We only learn those negative words because someone has given them to us and we, and we buy that because we believe at three [00:33:00] years old, four years old, five years old, that that’s what’s going to help us survive. And so, you know, I fondly call it self flogging.
So I beat myself up and as an adult, because I remember that when I would be beaten up negatively, you know, with negative words as a child, it was the motivator, it was the stick that got me going. But what ends up happening is it becomes counterproductive. You know what I mean? Does that make sense?
Ain’t ain’t no good shit gonna come outta negative self talk, but you know. But it takes us so long to realize that it, that it’s not us, you know? And we hold on to the negative sometimes more than we do the positive. You know, we repeat the insults rather than the confidence and stuff like that. But because it was that way doesn’t mean it has to always be that way.
Elaine: Well, the thing is, is, and you know a lot of people, why am I still doing this? And I beat myself because I’m beating [00:34:00] myself up. But if we remember that that was something that we learned to help us, then we can practice some acceptance. The word that you were looking at, the one that you were talking about, acceptance of my thoughts and my emotions, because it’s trying to help.
So if your, if you know, if your clients, and I know that you also practice immunotherapy, your clients, if they are understanding that, that scary thought or whatever, if they realize that it’s something to help them and they accept it, that it is there to help them, All of a sudden you’re looking at it instead of as a bad child, a scared child, you know, for example, If that makes sense.
And so when we start looking at it differently, we start having compassion for ourselves. It’s one of the most amazing shifts. And I know that you have had this shift, and that is instead of motivating [00:35:00] myself with the stick, I’m using compassion, I’m using acceptance, I’m using kindness, I’m using love, reinforcement support.
All of the words that you have, you have evolved and developed to say, you know what, you, you got this. And what different motivation. Right? So, awesome. So I need to say congratulations to you. You’ve done some major work. Well,
De’Vannon: thank you. And you know, we got plenty more to do and so you know, so let’s, so let’s, so let’s talk about what we’re gonna work on today.
So yes, y’all, you’re gonna get to see Elaine do a little pre-talk, and we’re gonna do like kinda like a progressive relaxation, sort of hy the therapy session so you can get like a taste of what it’s like. This isn’t gonna be anything too extreme, you know, in a, in a, in a, in a larger environment, you know, we would talk, I would go lay in this super comfortable chair.
There could be use of different sound devices, be it the [00:36:00] beautiful wind chimes behind her pendulums, you know, you know, and all kinds of things to help to, you know, get the mind into hypnosis. There’s all kinds of tricks the hypnotherapist has in their bag and they are quite colorful, but they’re all to help you.
And so today I would just like to keep working on, you know, the, you know, this child and everything, you know, just speaking against those, those negative voices. You know, fear, you know, trepidation. You know, feeling overwhelmed, you know, in my businesses, you know, and things like that. Lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t, you know, I’m not qualified to do all the things that I’m doing, and then I don’t have enough.
Knowledge or wisdom or know how to take, you know, the, this podcast to the next level or to really market my book, you know, or to do those things. Because as I’m trying to go forward in these industries, I’m trying to open doors and industries I’ve never been in before, and I’m, and I’m, and I’m starting to get the you know, [00:37:00] you know, you know, it, the, these industries seem to help those who are already there more so than those who are trying to get into them.
Elaine: I know it’s the catch 22. You gotta have to get it, You gotta get it to have it.
De’Vannon: Yeah. Right? And, and so, so, so lately I feel like I’m just knocking against like, you know, a new ceiling that I’ve never tried to knock against before. I’m trying to push this thing open and it’s just not happening. And I’m trying to remind myself, you know, You know, I’m not really in control of the timing.
It’s gonna happen when God wants it to happen. And I have, I’ve done quite a lot. I don’t think I’m really given myself enough credit for the amount of work it took to get this podcast where it is, this book, find me on this shelf. And sometimes I can fall into this trap of focusing on what isn’t versus rejoicing over everything that has happened that led up to this point.
And I’ve been like that a lot and it’s been very discouraging, you know, And I’ve been wondering how I’m gonna move forward so I could do [00:38:00] a little encouragement on today.
Elaine: Okay. That’s wow. Okay. Now some of this is probably gonna be a little bit of a repeat because I know that we’ve done some work together and I’m so glad that, see you noticed I’m focusing on what isn’t instead of what is.
But it flies in the face of my early childhood training that I have to focus on what isn’t, because I have to figure out how to make it right, whatever it is. And it’s usually pretty vague what I have to do. And oh, by the way, if you don’t, you know, if you’re not doing it right, you’re gonna get a whooping or you know, you’re gonna get a whatever it is.
And so it’s easy to go back to that old thought that if I focus on what it isn’t, it will somehow or another propel me to make it is. Right. And you’ve obviously done so much work on this, [00:39:00]you know, that to focus on the, you know, I always call it as the glass half empty or half full. You know, it’s either one or both, Right.
If it’s half empty, that means you’re focusing on the part that isn’t. If it’s half full, you’re focusing on the part that is. You know, you’ve heard the con the comment, you’re a hundred percent successful in what you focus on. I mean, that’s the little engine that could, It’s the good Wolff and the bad wolf.
It’s all those different stories. And so what we do is we start shifting our consciousness toward what we want. And so I heard some words, and I’m gonna repeat them back to you. Okay. So I wanna, I want to talk to that child and speak to the part, and you said a guess, but we’ll talk to the part that’s still afraid and that’s part of that, you know, we call it the inner child.
But there was, that’s that part I’m afraid, that [00:40:00] trepidation, you know, I’m, I’m afraid, do I have a parachute? You know, am I gonna jump off this clip? And am I gonna, you know, crash on the rocks? Or am I gonna soar the overwhelmingness because there’s a lot of unknowns? Am I qualified? This is all new to me.
How in the world do I know I’m qualified? You know, So I’m looking at what I’m not well, but I’m opening doors. But then I know this is, sometimes I call ’em the yts. I’m opening these doors. Yeah. But
and we do that. We all do that. I call ’em little rabbits. They’re yts. They run around . So what happens is we’re focusing on, we say Yeah. Logically in my mind, I know I’m opening new doors. Yeah. But it’s new. Yeah. But I don’t know which way to go. Yeah. But I have a ceiling. Yeah, but there’s a brick wall, right?
Mm-hmm. . So let me shift that a little bit. Yes. I see the [00:41:00] ceiling. I see it. I now recognize that that ceiling, in fact, you can see the water marks on the wall where the ceiling used to be a lot lower. Right. But I see the ceiling, it’s gotten higher. It’s gotten higher and it’s gotten higher, but there’s still a ceiling there.
And I recognize it and that’s okay because I, That is a metaphor for, there’s still stuff that’s unknown. What’s on the other side of the ceiling, What’s on the other side of the door? I don’t know. So, and I’m not in control of the timing. I wanna be control of the timing. I want it to happen when I want to happen, so I don’t have to worry about it.
Yeah. , right? Yeah, exactly. And if you find that I want that magic pill, please, . But I’m here to tell you that hypnosis hypnotherapy helps us to shift our thoughts [00:42:00] away from those old thoughts. That happen. Auto, they happen automatically. Remember we were talking about the subconscious? That’s where our habits are and our behaviors are.
Well, that part is the vast majority of our conscious thinking. And so what we need to do is we need to get those conscious thoughts. Like for example, you know that thinking positively, you know that succeeding is good for your survival, right? But yet you’ve got those yts underneath. So now what we wanna do is we wanna identify for a moment what is, is I do want.
Okay. Not what I already see. I see the fear, the trepidation. You overwhelmed. What is it that I do want? We wanna identify what that is. What does that look like?
De’Vannon: I want to be accepted in these new arenas I’m trying to get into. So I wanna be, [00:43:00] you know, I want greater acceptance in the author. World, you know, as I, you know, try to deal with different marketing companies or different publishing houses, or different review agencies or, you know, different things like that, you know, you know, I wanna find that tribe where alternative podcasts, like mines that are, they’re explicit, you know, and things like that are accepted because a lot of popular, you know, podcasts and a lot of popular podcast circles are very conservative or business oriented, but this is very, you know, culture, very edgy, very, you know, very fucking real.
Mm-hmm. , you know, but very fucking real isn’t always accepted in a lot of popular places. And so, so I want, so I wanna find a place that
Elaine: work, Excuse me, time out. Yeah. Okay. Because we, we, we started to go back into the negative, and I’m saying that just because it’s our natural process. Okay. It isn’t accepted in [00:44:00]a lot of places.
Right. Right. Pretty much a, that’s like a no brainer. Would you wanna be in those places?
De’Vannon: No, I don’t. I didn’t think so.
Elaine: those places are not you, , that’s like going, you know, like if you wear really expensive clothes and you go to a sl, you don’t fit, Right? I mean, or, or vice versa. So I want my, and, and this is something that’s really important for everybody.
I want my pack, I want my community, I want my comrades, I want my tribe. I want to attract and be attracted to those people with whom I have a common interest. I know that
De’Vannon: I took a word. That’s what I meant to say. That’s exactly what I meant to say. . I had a feeling,
Elaine: so, And, and I, Okay. Just kind of a little bit of a sidebar.
I knew that that’s where you had, because we’ve had a lot of history together, [00:45:00] so I, I, you know, I took a little shortcut there, but Yes, that’s exactly right. And so that’s a really good thing. And we also used it as an example. So I’m her, I’m hearing that you want acceptance in new arenas, for example, as an author, as a marketing person in the publishing companies.
In the agencies, these are new places that you are breaking into. Yes. Yes. Okay. But in addition to that, I want my tribe, I want to feel that I’m part of a community that is there to help. I mean, there to, you know, you guys have common interests. It’s a new culture that you wanna be in. Right. Right. Okay. All right.
So is there anything else that is part of your, what your inner child needs to hear?
De’Vannon: No. [00:46:00] He just, Okay. He, he’s good. He’s just, he just needs to know he’s, he’s good enough and to be patient, he needs to understand that patience is a good thing. . So, No,
Elaine: that’s good. Okay. You know, if we have this presupposition that our subconscious is constantly working for our benefit. Yes. Now here’s the cool part about it.
My conscious mind can go do the research and they can do all of the different things and it can knock on doors and it can do all of that stuff, but it’s only about 10 to 12%. Right. So what would happen if we got our subconscious on board to help? Would that be a good thing? Yes, it would. Yeah. Cause it basically what you’re doing is you’re super charging it.
Now, if we know, and it’s, it’s an absolute non-negotiable fact that our subconscious 100% of the time is here trying to protect us and keep us [00:47:00] alive and well and working toward our goals. There is absolutely no other option. All right. It just is because otherwise we would not exist as a species. I mean, literally it comes right down to that.
Okay. All right. So I know that I learned some things that were other people’s beliefs. I learned that those things were good for me when I was five to seven years old, and they were great for that. But now I’m trying to unlearn those and I’m knowing that I. I have really reached a lot of goals. I have really accomplished a lot of goals and, you know, we could go on for days with that because, you know, I know that you know a lot of the goals that you’ve reached, and so now I’m seeing the next steps is moving toward acceptance in the new areas that I’m researching [00:48:00] and attracting a greater, a greater community of like-minded people.
Is that fair? Okay. Mm-hmm. . Now, how do you know that you’re good enough? What lets you know that you’re good enough?
De’Vannon: I, I would say a feeling. My first thought was once the objective has been accomplished, but I feel like that that’s probably, I don’t know if that’s like the strongest thing.
Elaine: Well, that’s the art before the horse , right? When you’re facing the unknown, fear is an absolutely natural consequence of facing the unknown because it is the unknown and your fear is trying to protect you.
So, in your life, can you think of a time that you faced something that was new that you didn’t know [00:49:00] and you did it?
De’Vannon: I mean, yeah, probably. But you know, thinking back on it now, sometimes it’s in a, in that moment, I just feel like I can Okay. Or maybe whatever it is that was presented to me, I, I, I rationalized. Okay, I can probably do this. Okay. Now why? I don’t know, you know?
Elaine: Okay. Okay. When you were going after that, whatever it was, why, what were you thinking?
You knew it was new. Why’d you decide to do it? Whatever it was.
De’Vannon: It just felt right. It felt good. Maybe I felt calm, I felt capable, you know, inexplicably, I don’t know why, you
Elaine: know? Okay. [00:50:00] Is it possible that you were focusing on the goal, you were focusing on the reason why you wanted this goal, whatever it was?
De’Vannon: Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah.
Elaine: So if I’m a hundred percent successful at what I focus on, if my goal is to have acceptance, I’m going to manifest, accept. By being acceptance. Does that make sense? And what is it like when I’m accepted? Oh, by the way, I’ve had a lot of new, this is you, I’ve had a lot of new situations where I came in and I wasn’t accepted that that moment because they didn’t know me.
But once they got to know me, once I was able to share my enthusiasm about a ton of it, my energy, my [00:51:00] insight, my knowledge, my motivation, my inspiration, then all of a sudden I found commonalities. Right? But I came in to it. I mean, there’s a hundred different examples that I can think of just in my knowing of your history that you have faced.
I mean, we could go all the way back to learning to walk. I mean, that’s, I wanna go as fast as my mom. I wanna catch up to my dad, you know? That’s, I’m thinking about walking. I’m not worried about falling on my diaper . I wanna walk, I wanna get there. Okay. So I know that I can become accepted in areas. I was accepted in so many different areas, but now I’m focused on, yes, I know that there’s fear, but I recognize that that’s because I’m going, I’m pushing that ceiling, [00:52:00] okay?
And that’s okay. But what I do have is I have courage, I have tenacity, I have a history of learns and learned behaviors, and I have a history of creating success. And so if I can focus on the little engine, I can, I think I can. And all of a sudden my subconscious jumps on board and instead of 10 or 12% of me working toward my goal, all the stuff below the surface is working toward my goal.
And I might even be surprised how quickly change happens, because now, like if I have a, if I have 10 people rowing the boat, instead of only one or two going in the direction I want, I’ve got all 10 of them. Mm-hmm. , imagine how fast you’re gonna get there. Right? Okay. So that’s what it’s all about. So what we’re gonna do is I’m gonna help you to achieve the state of hypnosis, and I’m gonna be giving [00:53:00] your subconscious your positive suggestions.
And like I said, there’s a, everybody’s hypnotizable, you might feel relaxed and calm. You might feel like you’ve got an eight hours of sleep in 15 minutes. You might just be relaxing with your eyes closed. You may even find that your mind is drifting to other areas. But that’s okay because that’s your subconscious organizing with symbols and images and saying, Oh, that’s like, this let’s me, let me add that to the pile.
Oh, that’s like that. Let me add that to the equation because now what’s happened is all these things are moving toward your goal. Are you ready? Mm-hmm. , are you ready to have all 10 ORs in the water going toward your goal? I’m just wondering.
De’Vannon: Oh, let it be. I wonder that be
Elaine: let it be. I’m wondering if that may already be happening, because I know you have the desire and I know you have the willingness, and I know you have the tools that it takes.
I know you’re good enough, [00:54:00] and I know you have it. So I’m wondering, as you allow yourself to take a slow, deep breath in
soothing, relaxing, releasing, letting go, letting go with each and every deep breath, the body becoming more relaxed and more calm. With each and every exhale, releasing and letting go. Tensions, stressors, anxieties, worries. Melting away the body, becoming more relaxed and more calm, more peaceful, more serene.
Soothing, relaxing, releasing, letting go. Letting go. I’m gonna begin counting from backwards from five to zero. And as you [00:55:00] as I do, you may begin to notice the body becoming even more comfortable, even more calm, even more peaceful, even more serene. And we begin at five, taking that next slow, deep breath in, and allow your energy to focus on the area between the feet and the knees.
And as you become aware of the area between the feet and the knees, the muscles becoming so relaxed and so calm, so peaceful, so serene, soothing, relaxing, releasing, letting go, letting go. With fours, the body continues going deeper, still a sense of inner peace and calm, and a sense of comfort, and well, As your attention drifts to the area between the knees and the hips, and the area between the knees and the hips [00:56:00] becoming loose and limber, comfortable and calm, a feeling of inner peace and wellbeing.
At three, the number of deep contentment, the attention drifting to the area, into the midsection and the vital organs, the heart, the lungs, the kidneys, the liver, even the spine. Relaxing and releasing the tensions and stressors in the vertebrae, one by one by one, and the relaxation. Continuing across the shoulders, down the arms, into the elbows, the forearms, the wrist to hands, negative energy, tensions and stressors, anxieties, worries, melting away, the body becoming more relaxed and more.
More peaceful, more serene, and still. And still. The body goes deeper and deeper at to the [00:57:00]relaxation continuing of the back of the neck, the base of the skulls of floating drifting sensation as the mind relaxes and the eye muscles, jaw, muscles, releasing, letting it go, letting it go so that it won the body envelope in a wonderful state of deep relaxation and deep comfort, a deep and peaceful sense of calm, tranquility, inner peace, and zero deep asleep each time.
Deep sleep is suggested to you for the purpose of hypnosis. With your permission and only your permission sleeping calmly quickly to this depth or even deeper, the physical body relaxing and the mind. To the positive suggestions, the positive outcomes that are yours. And you know, in your subconscious knows that the time is right and you are aware that as a little boy [00:58:00] there were many messages that you received.
Some were positive, some were negative, some were downright mean and cruel. Some motivated you to be led by fear. They doubted your confidence and they created this place of uncertainty. And as weird as it was and an uncomfortable as it was, it in fact helped you to survive the onslaught of that energy that those around you held.
But that doesn’t mean that the true, authentic, you disappeared far from it. You all the while have kept and held onto that amazing, amazing. As evidence in that dream that you talked about before you’re coming back to rescue, that little boy, that little boy that was helpless and was out of control and you were coming back with a lifetime of learnings, and while you woke up not [00:59:00] having released and to rescued him, what that dream represented was that you know that you have what you need.
You came back and you were letting go of the fear that you didn’t have it. You were letting go of that old belief that you weren’t good enough. You were letting that go. And ever since then, it’s been a revelation. And the revelation is, I am good enough. I know I have what it takes. I have a long list of successes, a long list of areas where I went into a new situation.
We all faced them every day. That you have hundreds, maybe thousands of situations in the past several years where you went into a situation where you analyzed it and you looked at it and you studied it and you prepared, and you recognized and [01:00:00] realized that it was something you wanted. It was something new.
You was something that was achievable, and it was something in alignment with who you are, where you’re going and on your journey. And you realized that as you were focused on that prize, that carrot, that amazing, amazing accomplishment that you were doing in the back of your mind, even though you didn’t know the way, even though you didn’t know how, even though you didn’t know how long it was gonna take inside, you said, This is important to me.
I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I am trusting that my conscious desire is in alignment with my subconscious motivation. That part that wants me to succeed, that part that wants me to survive, that part that wants me to thrive. And I am fully on board and I don’t know what the outcome’s gonna look like, but I do know it’s going to be something that I want.
And so now [01:01:00] as you are at the beginning of this wonderful new door that you’re opening, you notice that the ceiling is higher than it used to be, but you want it higher now. You want it higher still. And that’s a positive thing. And it’s very exciting to be sure. And so as you are looking at this opportunity, you’ve already opened doors and you know that as an author, as in the marketing companies, In the publishing companies.
In the agencies, you’ve already broken ground. You already have blazed a trail, and you know that it’s just a matter of time. And your mind and your body, and your heart and your soul, and your conscious, and your subconscious are all working together now because this is in fact, and I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
And along the way, the tribe, [01:02:00] the community, the commonalities, they’re going to find you because they are looking for you to, in your early morning dreams, venting, releasing, letting go, all behaviors and habits from the past, letting them go easily and effortlessly because each day is a wonderful opportunity, an amazing experience, and an event, and an amazing door.
That is opening. You don’t know how, you don’t know where. You just know that all of you is working together and nothing. And no one can stop you now. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. Coming up to one beginning to become more alert and more aware. Bringing with you to two, a wonderful sense of wellbeing, inner peace and [01:03:00] calm as you come up to three, preparing to come back in the room, becoming aware of your surroundings.
At four and finally to five. Eyes open, wide awake. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Eyes open, wide, wide awake. Beautiful. You got this?
De’Vannon: That was probably the most tinged and chilled I felt in a session before. There’s a very warm spirit working between us tonight, and I really, really appreciate
Elaine: that. Welcome. Thank you. I’m so grateful to be on your journey with you. I’m, it’s just as much a gift for me,
De’Vannon: so y’all, every time I come out of like hip noses, it’s like a, like a, I almost feel like I’m a little bit still there.
And I think it is known [01:04:00] that, you know, I don’t, I can’t remember how it’s said right now, but when you, when you’re counted up out of hypnosis, sometimes you might still be suggestible to an extent, and so, . I definitely feel like I’m gonna be pretty suggestible for the rest of the day. So
Elaine: and, and one of the things to reinforce that is when you have a moment, hopefully sooner than later, you’re able to write down your thoughts and get into that journal.
Because when you write things down, what happens is you are reinforcing it in your subconscious. It’s sort of like when you write things down, it’s like a highway to your subconscious. And so give yourself the gift of taking some time to just journal your thoughts and your learnings. And then of course, every night before you go to sleep, tell your subconscious you’re continuing this work and your subconscious is all over it.
De’Vannon: right. I will do that right now. Thank you [01:05:00] so much for coming on this show. Today. Thank you again. Her web, Yeah. Again, her website is elaine peril.com. I wanna put that in the show notes so y’all can reach out directly to her for all of your questions about hypnotherapy that you, that you know, you’ve always wanted to ask.
Well, now you have direct access to somebody who’s been doing this for longer than many of you have been alive. And, and I mean that in the best way. So, you know, cause very, very young people been, It’s so good. you know, ask her, not me, cuz she knows she, she taught me. So that’s a, you can go direct to the source.
You can cut out the middle man ,
Elaine: you’re so sweet. Thank you so much.
De’Vannon: Any, any final closing words to the world? Pardon any, I always let my guests have a last word. Any words of wisdom or insight to the world that you would like to say?
Elaine: The answers that you want are already inside of you. [01:06:00] Sometimes they seem to be hidden away, but together we’ll find them as you find your
and that’s the way we’re closing it. Thanks everyone for watching.
Thank you all so much for taking time to listen to the Sex Drugs and Jesus podcast. It really means everything to me. Look, if you love the show, you can find more information and resources at SexDrugsAndJesus.com or wherever you listen to your podcast. Feel free to reach out to me directly at DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com and on Twitter and Facebook as well.
My name is De’Vannon, and it’s been wonderful being your host today. And just remember that everything is gonna be all right.