You have not one but two beautiful chocolate men in this episode! My guest today is J. Maceo and he is one half of the duo that hosts the starlit podcast: A Cosmic Journey With Demi And J along with the ever fabulous Demi Wylde. J is an accomplished singer-songwriter and ex-preacher based in Los Angeles California -my favorite city. J has lived a full life and from that life he has plenty of spiritual and metaphysical insight that can help you out along your journey. In this episode we get an impromptu live music performance from J as he sings to us while he strums his guitar. J has a sound that is somehow both new and nostalgic and in a single song he’ll take you from the Texas church pews of his youth with gospel buzzing in the air to the inner recesses of his heart, twisting like California canyons and thick with true tales of breakups and breakthroughs. There isn’t anything more I need to say here. I enjoyed the fuck out of this interview and I hope you do to!
INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to):
· Live music performance from J. Maceo!
· Addiction and Sobriety
· Trauma Bonding
· Running Meditation Explanation
· Baptist Bullshit
· A Positive Affirmation I Learned From Louise Hay
· J’s Five C’s to Help You Raise Your Vibration:
CONNECT WITH J:
Website – https://linktr.ee/J.Maceo
Podcast – https://www.acosmicjourneypod.com/
FaceBook – https://www.facebook.com/J.MaceoMusic/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/j_maceomusic
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/j.maceomusic/
Music on Spotify – https://open.spotify.com/artist/2n8UGW8EvO0wxiwqseTu1D
Music on Apple – https://music.apple.com/us/artist/j-maceo/1532580255
[00:00:00] You’re listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to. And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right. At the end of the day, my name is Davanon and I’ll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world. As we dig into topics that are too risky for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what’s really going on in your.
[00:00:24] There was nothing on the table and we’ve got a lot to talk about. So let’s dive right into this episode.
[00:00:34] De’Vannon: All right, Jay, thank you so much for coming on this X drags and Jesus’ podcast today, we show sexy chocolate. So it’s so much fun. Is he another, um, ball black man, or they, um, say it in one of my favorite movies? White chicks.
[00:00:56] J. Maceo: Well, it’s funny you say that because what I was thinking of, I was [00:01:00] looking at everything you’re younger than me. You’re like a prettier version than me. What if they were ever to play a Hollywood story? You’d be the younger version of me.
[00:01:12] De’Vannon: I, you know, I’ll do it too. I mean, I’m 38, about to be 39. So 43. I, um, am all about that life, honey, you know, black don’t crack.
[00:01:24] Are you going to be looking fabulous, but as,
[00:01:26] J. Maceo: uh, I hope so.
[00:01:29] De’Vannon: And so. Yeah, this is Jay Macio. He co-hosts the cosmic journey podcast with, um, Dimmi who was on my show before. So this is basically like a tag team. Jimmy had his way with me and now Jay, to get, to get the sloppy seconds. And I couldn’t be more thrilled to, uh, be a part of that.
[00:01:52] Oreo. I love it. Yeah. Okay. So Jay, tell us, um, some of [00:02:00] your inspiration, your, your history and your background and some of your struggles.
[00:02:07] J. Maceo: Wow. Where does that start? So, uh, well I grew up, uh, black and gay a closet in, uh, Houston, Texas, uh, which uses a big city, but it’s a big city in the city. So there was a lot of hiding, a lot of shame.
[00:02:21] I grew up in the church, which was on one hand comforting. Uh, and I learned a lot from those experiences. On the other hand, I had to had to hide a lot, uh, who I was and that sort of thing. But I, you know, I loved church when I was young, uh, loved going, loved the music and that sort of thing. And I think musically, a lot of my inspiration does come from that.
[00:02:44] Uh, but, uh, you know, I had a lot of struggles with depression as a kid, just, uh, wow. And I think a lot of it came from being gay and hiding them. And my father wondering, was that the issue, like, did he, was that really [00:03:00] gay or not? Um, and you know, fast, a little bit, you know, we talked about, uh, some of my struggles before and alcohol started to play a very good role in making me feel like just okay, Uh, so I, you know, had alcohol for, you know, for years abused, alcohol abuse, other substances, uh, you know, and been, I had been in and out of program, uh, like AA and that sort of thing.
[00:03:29] Uh, now I’ve currently been away from everything for five years, uh, which is huge for a dude like me, but I’ll tell you this, that no matter what I’ve gone through, I’ve learned from,
[00:03:44] De’Vannon: okay. That’s what it’s all about. I want you to tell me, um, what you learned about being an ex preacher.
[00:03:52] J. Maceo: Wow. Uh, the prejudice of people too. Um, that’s one of
[00:03:57] De’Vannon: the, it’s hard to tell these days. [00:04:00]
[00:04:02] J. Maceo: No, I hear you. I mean, it’s, it’s funny, uh, prejudice. I knew cust um,
[00:04:08] De’Vannon: what denomination were you were a preacher in a Baptist.
[00:04:13] Yeah, they cuss. That’s not all it did to who did. That’s what I said. That’s not all they did to
[00:04:19] J. Maceo: no, you’re right. So, and I, it’s funny, what I learned was I learned to kind of walk a line because there was church me and there was outside of church, me and I feel like, you know, on Sundays, uh, and on Tuesday night for Bible study, I was one person.
[00:04:39] And then when I left, I was completely different. Like in full German, I fashioned a completely different person, a couple of things that I did learn, uh, from, uh, from my preaching days, especially in my church that I went to. So my uncle, when I moved here, I went to a church. My uncle was, he still lives the pastor there.
[00:04:58] Um, and [00:05:00] he. Challenged my thinking in a lot of ways, the way he looked at reading the Bible, I mean, he would pick it apart. You know, what’s the Greek org, what’s the Hebrew words they’re written in different languages. He would go to, you know, what was the context, the culture of the situation. And so I learned to look at things, a lot of things through, through context and not just at face value.
[00:05:22] I think that’s a huge, huge thing that I learned. Um, I learned a lot of spirituality I’d say from my uncle because, uh, he was definitely, you know, cooler than my parents. I moved out here at 16 and my parents had that tight grip and my uncle was like, Hey, go discover life. Be, you know, be who you are, you know, be, you know, just go out and discover stuff.
[00:05:46] And so through the, through the preaching, I learned a different way of looking at things. Um, I think I learned how to be connected. To something greater than myself, someone, [00:06:00] something greater than myself, uh, which helps me now on a daily basis. And I learned, uh, you know, I, I love the saying that another, uh, guy who was a preacher said, he said, don’t take yourself too seriously, take what you do seriously, but don’t take yourself so seriously.
[00:06:18] Uh, so
[00:06:19] De’Vannon: yeah, I hear you on that now. Um, Houston is a big city. That’s where I was a drug dealer ad and that’s where I became addicted to all my vices. Uh, yeah, I, um, uh, that’s why I went to jail. That’s why I was homeless and everything like that. Houston is a, Houston is a motherfucker motherfucker.
[00:06:41] J. Maceo: I never experienced it as an adult.
[00:06:45] De’Vannon: know, it’s great for people, as long as you’re not like, you know, want hit by lightning, you know, the police and shit like, like me, I can’t like. I’m not currently wanted by police in Houston, [00:07:00] but I am banned from Bank of America for life. So no, you know, it happen, you know, in my twenties and yeah.
[00:07:14] And I thought it was so interesting how you and, um, Demi came to be co-host because he was saying like, he interviewed you for the show that he had, and then he was so inspired by you that you ended up being a co-host. So, you know how incredible the kick ass, you have to be like the best guest ever.
[00:07:37] Cause it, and this and this community people like there is, um, there is, um, quality of host, then there’s quality of guests as well. And then. Um, and so, and so for you to have had been that good to be like, not just, Hey, I’m going to give you a raving review, but to come host this show,
[00:07:59] J. Maceo: I [00:08:00] think we vibed off of each other, you know, in one, in one case it can be great hosts or great guests.
[00:08:06] But I think in this, like this in a lot of areas of life, sometimes there’s just a, a vibe that’s there. And I love that there’s a vibe and a flow. And I think we had that, uh, that day, but I I’d say now we have a, we have a good chemistry,
[00:08:22] De’Vannon: right? It’s so that, let me start, go back to the preaching thing. Now I spent some time in seminary.
[00:08:27] You don’t have to go to seminary to be a preacher. Um, in fact, like the Southern religions, like the Baptist and the Pentecostals really don’t have from, from my experience and exposure to them that have regard for people who do go to school to learn how to preach, you know, they look at them as less authentic.
[00:08:45] Well, I mean a ministry. And, um, so I went into seminary because that’s what I was caught up in at the time I didn’t stay because of the seminary was about bullshit. I came to learn that I’m curious as to why you are an ex preacher [00:09:00] and not steal a preacher, what happened?
[00:09:02] J. Maceo: Sure. And I’ll say this, that, I mean, in the churches that I went to were really big on education.
[00:09:09] Uh, and I know that’s not true with a lot of places. I do hear what you’re saying about the authentic stuff, but, uh, in addition to the seminary, my uncle had a, um, uncle’s last pastor had a, uh, a group that he, a conference that he had every year that went over a lot of those things that was kind of like a, um, an addition to seminary, like something that’s with like a conference to teach preachers and teachers, uh, different things about, you know, context and culture and, uh, and doctorate and a lot of those things and help them with tools to, to, uh, to preach more of effectively.
[00:09:43] But why am I excited? It’s it’s funny. I can loop this back to, uh, so part of it, I was thinking I’m like, which part do I say first part of it was that struggle, man, that struggle of I’m gay, but I have to hide this. I think [00:10:00] that’s part of why I didn’t go to seminary, uh, was because I knew I’d be immersed in a life and it wouldn’t just be Sunday and Tuesday and maybe another day of the week, it would be one of those all day things.
[00:10:11] So there was a separation between me and a lot of the other preachers who did, you know, go to school and go, go through that. Uh, but what happened? I remember, and I was good at preaching. I studied a lot. I was, I enjoyed it. I loved, I loved it while I was there. Uh, but then I ran back to have a different life.
[00:10:31] So there was this, when they call me Reverend, and then there was when I was going out to, you know, I, I feel bad because they raised an offering here. I’m I am answering the question, but I just thought about this. They would raise an offering when you breached, uh, back then. And every time I’d be like, I’m going to get some books and I’m going to, you know, use this to, for some great stuff.
[00:10:51] And that meant I would have to use that to, you know, go get my alcohol, they’ll get drugs because of just the, the [00:11:00] feelings that were going on inside. And there was something in that when I, when I preached that, I felt like it touched people, but sometimes it felt like they’re getting touched from this, but I don’t feel like I am was a huge, huge thing for me.
[00:11:15] But when I stopped preaching, I remember my first boyfriend, uh, we, he was, he was complete atheist. So I remember one time I went to preach. And he’s like, ah, I’ll come to your make-believe thing and, you know, come hear you preach. If you want me to do your little Jesus thing. And the weirdest thing is while, while I felt good that he would even come because of, you know, his beliefs, I started thinking, holy shit, like he comes, who do I say he is?
[00:11:47] And what do I do? And I started spinning out about him coming to hear me preach because then my two worlds would collide. And from that moment on, I felt like I didn’t need to be doing anything that would make me [00:12:00] have to hide my partner. We’re not together anymore, but I feel like that I want it to be more authentic in my life in general.
[00:12:08] So I think that’s one thing that, uh, one reason.
[00:12:13] De’Vannon: Right. That was going to be my next question was like, how did you reconcile, preaching with being a member of the alphabet community, but you did answer that.
[00:12:20] J. Maceo: Yeah, well, you know, and I know there’s a lot of, one thing I was fortunate with. I know a lot of people, uh, LGBT people to alphabet.
[00:12:29] I love that, but I know there are a lot of us who, uh, went to places where they told him, you know, you’re going to hell if you’re gay. And I was our church, you know, surgeons that I went to were more like, you know, free grace, you know, you believe. And, you know, and you’re, you know, quote unquote, save the, the good part about that.
[00:12:49] As I knew that I was just someone with what I considered back then a struggle, uh, the bad news is, you know, what, that whole free grace thing, I was like, I can do whatever the hell I want, you know?[00:13:00]
[00:13:02] De’Vannon: Right. Uh, we gotta be careful with our liberties so that they don’t consume us. But what you were saying about like your one preacher who was, um, In his interpretation and explain and above, we’ll get it into the context of the culture of the time when the original Hebrew and Greek and Aramaic. Um, that’s something that I preach constantly on this show to people.
[00:13:22] And I’ll be getting that in my blog because it is crucial. Uh, you know, we understand fully the word for ourselves. And so whatever we’re going to read through whatever kind of texts, I don’t care for what country or nation it is, is important to understand. And what is really being said. And especially in its original languages, before we go and change our lives over it, or let somebody tell us what we ought to be doing or beat us over the head.
[00:13:47] Um, I’m doing actually a three-part series with, uh, Reverend Marcia Ledford, um, who is, um, a strong LGBTQ [00:14:00] advocate. She’s married to her wife and everything like that. We’re focusing on, you know, the biblical call clobber passages that they always try to come for us with and everything. I thought it was that important.
[00:14:10] Yeah, I actually do three, three whole episodes dedicated to breaking that shit down and actually understanding what it is. And so, so y’all stay tuned for that. That just made me think about all that. I can’t wait to hear that, but you see, I got, I got kicked out of church for being LGBTQ, so there’s like a very hot button with me.
[00:14:33] That’s the next blog. I’m getting ready to release on my website too, because you know, they really had me fucked up, but you know, I was, I wasn’t trying to beat no bitches. I asked that day, so I just left quietly. I didn’t want to have to lay it. Lady’s hands on the mother thought that was, but you know, I’m a different person now.
[00:14:51] I still love Jesus, but I’m a little bit, little bit more realistic about the way I approach it. So, um, [00:15:00] so, so podcasts, cosmic attorney with the DME and Jay, uh, on the podcast, you have a lot. Advice for self-improvement, you’ve done a lot of self study, self search, and I can attest from being in the sober community myself, when you’ve been addicted to something and gotten carried away with it.
[00:15:18] And then you start to sober journey. A lot of the focus is on self-improvement, what you can do to better your self. And so, um, there’s many different types of interpretations of sobriety, but they do all, I think, come down to self-improvement. And so you have a lot of interesting insight in techniques and stuff that you bring up.
[00:15:40] So we’re going to talk about some of those, the one you were talking about, something called running meditation. And when I heard this, my ears perked up, because I’ve never, I’d never heard it. Anybody talk about meditation and like an active state, which you said that you were uncomfortable with sitting still and listening to your thoughts.
[00:15:58] And a lot of people are that way. And a lot of [00:16:00] people can’t sit still and do meditation. So what is running meditation? And, you know, it’s
[00:16:03] J. Maceo: funny, I’ll tell you now I do this still meditation also. I’ve learned it. I did it this morning for about 20 minutes. Uh, and that’s when people, so I think, uh, you know, people look at meditation as you have to do it one way or you’re doing it wrong.
[00:16:19] And I think, you know, back to, uh, you know, if you look at the recovery community, there’s one of the steps that, you know, talks about, uh, getting conscious contact with God or your higher power through prayer and meditation. And I always tell everybody the kind of crux of that isn’t prayer or meditation, it’s conscious contact.
[00:16:37] So I look at my meditation, can’t be wrong if it brings me into conscious contact when something greater than me. So my running meditation, what I would do when I ran, I would. And all of a sudden I would feed myself with positive the whole way. You know, I feed myself, I’m loving. I am kind. I am, [00:17:00] because whenever you attach, I am too is like, that’s okay.
[00:17:03] Powerful two words. And that’s what we become. That’s what we act like. So just running right. I’m wealthy. I live in a friendly universe. I’m in all this. I played through my head over and over again on a loop saying it to myself as I ran. And what would happen was, as I said that, and my heart’s beating fast.
[00:17:20] I get an elevated emotion. There’s something. I think that happened when you have a thought and mix that with an elevated, positive emotion. I think there’s something magical had happened where we draw what we’re trying to manifest to, uh, to ourselves. So I would do that. And the reason I would do that is because I figured if I did that while I was running and I put that all through my head consciously that, that stuff, even when I was walking or in my regular state would bleed over into my unconscious.
[00:17:50] De’Vannon: Okay. So what you were saying is you yes. Your subconscious mind, so you attached, um, positive affirmations. Were they positive physical feeling, right? This, [00:18:00] there could technically be, uh, combined with any sort of thing that gives a person a positive physical sensation. So maybe fencing, um, maybe sex might be kind of positive
[00:18:13] J. Maceo: assets that can be spiritual people say, oh God.
[00:18:15] Oh God.
[00:18:20] De’Vannon: Yeah. And so that, um, that reminds me of anchoring. And we were talking earlier because we both, um, have training and hypnotherapy, but you know, the, you know, and having been it hypnosis, you know, we talk about anchoring, you know, positive things to replace negative things in like the subconscious and things like that.
[00:18:46] And so that, that, that reminded me. Of that. Well, since we talking about the hip hitting the therapy, uh we’ll go ahead and talk about it now. Yeah. I, I went to hypnosis motivation Institute [00:19:00] HMI, which is in Tarzana, California, which is Los Angeles, California. That’s how I spent the pandemic work on my, uh, hitting the therapy training here.
[00:19:08] And now what classes are that you take there?
[00:19:11] J. Maceo: It is so funny. So, uh, I went, uh, through, I went through 1 0 1 where you start to, I think I left in 4 0 1. Uh, one of the reasons I did leave is because I know people at my church were like, you know, oh, I can’t believe you’re doing this. That’s kind of crazy stuff.
[00:19:28] Uh, you know, if, if somebody, if you told me, you know, that, you know, you were doing hypnotherapy, I would think you didn’t believe in Jesus. I got a lot of that. Uh, but I got, I took some great courses, you know, Uh, different courses on, you know, what hypnosis was, uh, how to hypnotize people. I was big on the countdown induction.
[00:19:48] Like that was my big thing, not the arm raising, but the countdown, I did that with people sometimes, you know, at parties or just, you know, sitting around, uh, dream analysis was really [00:20:00] great. And I wish that I would use some more of those tools right now. I keep a pad by the bed and really allow myself to, to, to process and to, uh, lean from my, uh, more from my subconscious.
[00:20:15] But this is something, and I’m glad I read that you went to Asia, my to, uh, because I went there a while back, but one of the things that I didn’t think about, I haven’t thought about this for years until, uh, yesterday, uh, my going by J Macio has its roots in at Hmm. And this is how so I used to sign my name.
[00:20:39] I can just say my name. Uh, John M Wilkes informacion, John M wilt the second. And when I was an HMI, we took a handwriting. And the handwriting analysis course talked about, you know, different things and you know, how you, uh, express different things, underlining a name, putting accidentally [00:21:00] crossing through a name and all this sort of thing.
[00:21:02] And for some reason, I love my first initial and my middle name. So from that moment on, I started signing. My name is Jay Macio Wilkes the second. Uh, and I love the people. Very seldom somebody would call me Jay Macio. But, uh, recently I was like, you know what? I love this name. You look up John Wilkes, you’re going to get John Wilkes booth.
[00:21:24] Uh, but Jay Macio and I feel like there’s a, uh, a difference there. A good difference that lets me be Jay Macio I’d say is more creative. Uh, but yeah, I mean, I learned, I don’t want to get too far away from the atrium. I learned a lot there. Do you finish that, uh, school? Uh, wish I had
[00:21:44] De’Vannon: online do it online from your home at your convenience.
[00:21:49] The modules are just there. You can just take them whenever you got like 18 months to finish it. You don’t have to like, meet with an instructor at a certain time or anything like that. Oh, well, [00:22:00] now that you do have an instructor, if you want to ask questions and things like that, and you do leave feedback after every module, and if you need a phone call, you know, and all of that, then sure you can do that.
[00:22:11] But that’s not a part of it. I tried to talk to instructors at least as possible because that’s not what I needed them for. I wanted to go through this and learn it at my own pace. And that’s exactly what I was able to do.
[00:22:22] J. Maceo: Oh, wow. Well, you know, when I went there, one of the good things though, they gave you free a couple of free hypnotherapy sessions.
[00:22:29] So they match you up with somebody and you get a couple of free sessions with that. I like, you know what? I, it’s funny. I did not even think about this until recently. So when I went there, this was years, years ago, um, they taught us, you know, self hypnosis. Which, you know, a lot of folks would just look at as meditation.
[00:22:51] I think about it now, but you know, we learned kind of self-hypnosis and how, one of the things I loved is I would do that on the [00:23:00] way there maybe 15 minutes on a bus, I would do that. And there was something in that relaxing my mind and getting like the speaking to myself that I felt like I had slept a whole eight hours in 15 minutes.
[00:23:15] So that’s something that I loved from, uh, that I learned from that place.
[00:23:19] De’Vannon: That’s what it’s all about, man. And I recommend learning hypnotherapy to everybody. Whenever I adopt some children, they go and through the course, then go the people on the world, I can probably make, do something, but because you really got to want to learn a lot about yourself.
[00:23:35] To do hypnotherapy and that really, really stay there. I went originally to combine it, to learn those modalities, to get certified, to combine it with what, with my massage therapy practice, because I’m also a licensed massage therapy, but then Ms. Corona came to town and then I closed the massage therapy business.
[00:23:52] And so, but in the process of learning about the mind, I realized I’m fucked up myself. I don’t need to be working on nobody else. So then I turned more towards the [00:24:00] self-hypnosis aspect of it and I’m in my God had covered a lot of stuff. So, um, talk to me about gratitude and, um, and why you think operating, because we were talking about the positive emotions that you associated when you were running with your positive affirmations.
[00:24:23] When people think about gratitude, they talk about. That as well as being like a very high vibration. And so talk to us about gratitude and why it’s so important to just be thankful.
[00:24:36] J. Maceo: Well, you know, it is important. I mean, I have a list of five guys today. It was six, but that I sent in the gratitude list to every single day.
[00:24:46] Uh, and some of them, uh, you know, send them back some don’t, but the reason gratitude is so important. A couple of reasons. Uh, the first one is that it does put me in a positive state. So what happens [00:25:00] is that, you know, whatever I think about. You know, that’s what my world is going to be about this whole, like, you know, confirmation bias that I’m going to prioritize information that agrees with my existing belief system.
[00:25:13] So if I think this this way, and I see a hundred things that say it’s other way, but I see one thing that agrees with me, I’m going to stick to the thing that’s agreeing with me. So in gratitude, what I do is that I actively make myself think about things to be thankful for. And what happens is that I become a thankful person rather than mean, and this is the thing, because if I sit around long enough, I can think about the things that I don’t have.
[00:25:42] I can think about the things that I’m scared of. I can think about the things that I’m mad about, and then I can feel like life hasn’t given me a good day. And when I feel like that, I walk around acting like somebody who life has not given a good hand. So when I get into gratitude and for me and do [00:26:00] five things, some people do 10, so people do three.
[00:26:02] But when I still at list every day, at least one time a day, I’m sitting down thinking of things that I’m thankful for. And what that does is it puts me in a more positive space, but it also puts me in a space to receive. Because if I think a lot of us, I would say this, a lot of us are getting gifts and blessings every day that we just ignore.
[00:26:31] And there’s something about gratitude that makes me say, you know what? I want to shine the light on the things that are working in my favor. And then that shine the light on just these few things that are working out in my favor. All of a sudden, I see what. I got this thing. Wait a second. I got the parking space yesterday.
[00:26:47] Wait a second. And all of a sudden I become a thankful person as I do that, my vibration, my energy changes, and I draw, and I’ll say this, I know a bit, a little rambling for a little bit, but what happens [00:27:00] is I’m alone. That when I get in a space of gratitude and happiness to my bed, beration is higher. What I do is I attract a lot of those things that people are just running around and trying to chase where my vibration is higher, because I’m thankful and I’m grateful and I’m happy.
[00:27:16] And I appreciate what I have all of a sudden things that I want just attract to me
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